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Life Coaching Those Obsessed With the Casey Anthony Trial

By Nancy Colasurdo

Published July 08, 2011 

Dear Fellow Americans –

Please feel free to skip right by this if you have no idea who Casey Anthony is or if you know who she is but you’ve managed to live your life without catching a single moment of her murder trial. (Congratulations on that, by the way. No small feat.)

Instead, this is directed to those of you who have latched on to a murder trial featuring a family you’ve never met to the point where you have rearranged your schedules, spewed vitriol, hung on to every word and expression in the courtroom and taken a nice hot bath in self-righteousness.

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Before you started firing off comments to me on Casey Anthony’s every twitch and the merits of the case against her, you should know it will fall on deaf ears. My only interest in this is to understand what has become a national obsession to the point where I was slack-jawed reading the status updates and comments on my Facebook page and Twitter feed. That doesn’t even include the actual conversations I’ve overheard or extricated myself from because the tone became hostile.

I am sad that a little girl died and I know you are, too. But here’s some perspective -- what about all the others?

According to the FBI’s “Crime in the United States” report, there were 1,494 people under the age of 18 murdered in 2008. More than 500 of those were under age four. Aside from Caylee Anthony, can you name one other victim? In 2009, the total was 1,348 and nearly 500 of those were under age four. How many of them have you left your porch light on for in the name of justice?

Somewhere Sigmund Freud’s head is spinning from all the projection and displaced anger going on around this. I think it’s worth asking ourselves why this case got snared in the American consciousness and what it means in our individual lives. Clearly we need to express frustration and anger and this has provided an outlet.

Casey Anthony has been called a slew of names and she’s been wished dead more times than I can count and the possible ways for her to meet her demise have been detailed. There has been discussion of her karma as well as her lack of tears.

This is a lot of energy expended on a stranger, folks. If you’re in that mix, perhaps it’s time to dig in and figure out why this has affected you so deeply.

For example, if you are struggling to have children, it’s natural to feel frustrated when you perceive someone like Anthony has succeeded in that and squandered it. It’s understandably human to ask why and even have some confusion and/or resentment, but ultimately you have to know railing at a stranger to the level where your blood pressure is rising isn’t going to bring you a baby.

Ditto for all the other possibilities that have you getting so emotionally involved in one woman’s story.

There’s another way to go here.

Ideally, the fever pitch around the Casey Anthony trial could spur action for children in need. If there is time to watch hours of coverage and craft status updates, there is time to funnel the energy into something more productive. One Facebook friend posted a terrific suggestion -- get better acquainted with a Web site for missing kids.

That’s an easy, surface-level idea that requires only time on the Internet. But you can always take it up a notch. Write a check. Write regular checks if you can. Target causes that help make children’s health and well-being a priority.

Just Tell Director Vivian Farmery would be all too happy to let you release your frustration at the mistreatment of children by contributing to Just Tell, whose mission is, according to its Web site, “to educate and empower children and adults around the issue of childhood sexual abuse.”

Need I mention St. Jude’s Hospital? What better place to bring your compassion for children? No extra cash? They appreciate volunteers, too.

So does Big Brothers Big Sisters. Becoming a “big” is an opportunity to affect a child’s life one-on-one in a meaningful and steady way.

This is just a tiny sampling of the organizations that could use your support.

That kind of giving of your time, talent or treasure will not bring back Caylee Anthony or any other murdered child, but it will help you feel like you’re doing something to make a child’s world better. And your world will subsequently improve by leaps and bounds because of your kind actions.

So how about it? Might we harness this energy and fuel a movement for positive change? Will you heed the call?

That would honor Caylee Anthony more than any trumped-up outrage or shining porch lights ever could.

Sincerely,

Nancy

Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com.

Casey Anthony: Making a Case for Compassion

Published on Psychology Today (http://www.psychologytoday.com)

By Sensei Morris Sekiyo Sullivan

Created Jul 11 2011 

I live in Central Florida, where the Casey Anthony case has been in the forefront of the community consciousness for several years, and where the outcome of her trial was received with very strong emotions. Like the O.J. Simpson trial, the Anthony case fueled a controversy rife with feelings of animosity, distrust and betrayal....and displaced feelings. However, rather than participate in the controversy over her guilt or innocence, perhaps we can use our feelings about this particular tragedy as an opportunity for spiritual growth.


For a Buddhist, there are good religious reasons to abandon anger and cultivate kindness. However, there are also ample mental health-related incentives for transcending ill will and cultivating compassion - or at least what Albert Ellis termed unconditional other-acceptance - for the Casey Anthonys of the world.


One of the sutras relates a conversation between the Buddha and his son, Rahula, a novice monk. The Buddha begins by asking his son, "What is a mirror for?" He goes on to explain that just as Rahula might use the reflection in a mirror to examine his face, he can use his awareness to reflect on his actions of body, speech and mind.
If, on such reflection, Rahula finds himself engaging in a harmful mental, verbal or physical act, he should abandon it. If he finds the action is helpful, he can continue it and even cultivate it. Like Rahula, we can use our minds to reflect on our Casey Anthony-related acts of body, speech and mind and determine whether to abandon or cultivate them.


I suspect the typical thoughts that fuel animosity toward Anthony go something like this: "Casey Anthony did a terrible thing, so she is a terrible person who deserves damnation. Because she's so evil, she must be punished, and anyone who could have but didn't punish her is also a terrible person who deserves damnation."


As I mentioned in my previous post, The Buddha and Albert Ellis: The Eightfold Path Meets the ABCs of REBT, global self-rating is irrational and leads to stress and difficulty. Just as it is unskillful to rate one's ever-changing, indefinable "self," it is equally irrational to rate another's "self."


Let's use our mindfulness as a mirror to reflect on the most prominent of these other-rating views, "Because Casey Anthony did a terrible thing, she is a terrible person." We'll disregard the question of guilt: The irrationality (or ignorance, in Buddhist terms) has little to do with whether or not she is guilty, but whether or not her guilt makes her a "terrible person."


First, we can ask ourselves, "Is there evidence to prove the belief that if someone does a bad thing, he or she is a bad person?"
The answer is no-there is no evidence that Anthony is "bad" because she did a bad thing. A bad person could only do bad things, but we know all people do both good things and bad things, so there's no way this one terrible act makes her a terrible person.


In fact, we can now answer our second question, "Is there evidence that belief is false?" Anthony doubtless has some good qualities, so she can't possibly be a "bad person." Even if we could find very few good qualities in her, there is no reason she couldn't go on to do many good things in her lifetime.


Next, we can weigh the disadvantages of hanging on to such beliefs and the disadvantages of relinquishing them. What happens if we continue believing that someone who does a bad thing is therefore a thoroughly bad, damnable person? We will probably continue to get angry when people in the news-and in our personal lives-do bad things.


If we look closely into our hearts and minds, we discover that anger includes some pretty unpleasant sensations. We now see that these unpleasant feelings are the result of our mental processes, not the situation itself. If we can transcend the irrational mental formations at the source of our anger, we can end the suffering!


Freed from this filter of rage, we can now clearly see Anthony as another being who, like us, our friends and our loved ones, is suffering the universal dukkha of aging, illness and impermanence. She has also lost her child. I've heard people discount that, using the perception that she may not feel exhibit adequate remorse as further evidence of her "terribleness." However, if this mother is not suffering from this loss, what kind of suffering must she have endured to get that way?


Cultivating compassion for Casey Anthony won't cost you anything, but it will benefit you by helping you develop the capacity for compassion, which is a great strength. If you're still feeling anger or other distress over the case, here are a few things to try:


(1)   Work towards non-animosity for Anthony by accepting that she, like you, is an imperfect being struggling with the effects of past karma.


(2)   Cultivate compassion for everyone involved in this case: Along with Anthony herself and her family, this case involved judges, lawyers, law enforcement officers, jurors and their friends and families. Each of them have performed good actions and have good characteristics, and each have performed some unskillful actions and have negative characteristics. See if you can have compassion for the entire group.


(3)   Cultivate some compassion for yourself. Recognize that you have caused yourself distress by generating feelings of anger or hopelessness, for example, and resolve to ease your own suffering without condemning yourself for it: You, too, inherited the effects of past karma.


(4)   Rather than being resentful or feeling hopeless about the lack of "justice," perhaps you can help prevent future similar situations. Consider donating to or volunteering for community organizations that aid families in crisis or ask your state representative to increase resources for agencies that assist children and families.