On a trip through the South, Civil War culture is presented as "authentic." They just leave out the slavery part.....
MY WORK ... MY PASSION
• Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ; Past experiences: Dream Analysis /10 Years Experience •Psychotherapist / Use of Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies /10 Years Experience •EMDR • Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship • Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment • ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) / 21 years experience •Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant • Social Justice Advocate • Child and Human Rights Advocate • Spiritual Guide and Intuitive • Certified Reiki Practitioner • Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups • Parenting Workshops • Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children • International Training: Israel & England • Critical Incident Stress Debriefing • Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer
MSW - UNC Chapel Hill
BSW - UNC Greensboro
"An Unending Love"
This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my daughter, my grand daughters, and my grand son. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.
"ONLY LOVE PREVAILS" ...."I've loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more....."
The degree of our enlightenment is the degree of passion that we will have for the whole world." ~The Greystone Mandala
~The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
In “Conversations with God”, by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a warning I think of. I refer to it as the Atlantis passage, and I've quoted it a few times before." As I have said, this isn't the first time your civilization has been at this brink,"
God tells Walsch. "I want to repeat this, because it is vital that you hear this. Once before on your planet, the technology you developed was far greater than your ability to use it responsibly. You are approaching the same point in human history again. It is vitally important that you understand this. Your present technology is threatening to outstrip your ability to use it wisely. Your society is on the verge of becoming a product of your technology rather than your technology being a product of your society. When a society becomes a product of its own technology, it destroys itself."
Thursday, December 29, 2011
On a trip through the South, Civil War culture is presented as "authentic." They just leave out the slavery part.....
Bullies, Liars and Impostors: How Facebook and Go Daddy Shield Scott Walker's Online Guerillas | Media | AlterNet
CLICK HERE: Bullies, Liars and Impostors: How Facebook and Go Daddy Shield Scott Walker's Online Guerillas | Media | AlterNet
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
As a retired psychotherapist, I have experienced this Buddhist quote many times ... both as therapist, and as human: "When the student is ready, the teacher will come."
My new experience with learning about the Akashic records ... will also be yours, if you so desire. I have been guided to the site and work of Ernesto Ortiz, and his teachings about the Akashic records. Today, I present this offering from his site. The depth of these qualities is indeed quite profound:
I hope that these 10 qualities are reinforced in your life and that the New Year brings you love, happiness and you develop the Mind of Enlightenment.
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.
"No matter what I do, it isn't good enough." "No matter how much I
give, it never seems to satisfy." Over these past holidays, how many
times have we heard, or made, such comments?
Let's face it. There are people who, no matter how much they have
or have been given, never appreciate it. You could pour your heart
out, work until you drop, share until you're empty, and they still
wouldn't acknowledge your effort with a simple "thank you."
Somehow, it seems that people who need appreciation are often paired
with people who never express it. They are caught up in a destructive
cycle: the more person A needs to be appreciated, the more he or she
strives for the "thank you's." The more A seeks appreciation, the
more obligated person B feels to express his or her gratitude. The
more guilty B feels, the more likely he or she is to rebel and
withhold appreciation. This leads to further emptiness in person A,
and the subsequent increase in A's need for appreciation. This cycle
is often experienced during holiday times when "giving" and
"receiving" is expected
People caught up in this psychological cycle experience life as an
endless dependency, filled with fear, helplessness, hostility, anger
and above all, unfulfilled needs. Both parties caught up in this
cycle are very needy of personal validation and support. Both
desperately need to feel appreciated and valuable.
This helpless-hostile-dependency (HHD) cycle is simple to change in
theory. (You know how simple we psychologists make things... "in
theory") Changing the HHD cycle in day-to-day living is often very
Breaking the HHD cycle can begin with saying "thank you". That's
right. Saying out loud, "I appreciate..." or, "thank you for..." is
the beginning of altering the HHD cycle.
"Thank you" communicates many messages. "Thank you" says: I
recognize you; I like you; I appreciate you; I have seen or heard you;
I realize your effort, work or accomplishments; and best of all, I
value who you are and/or what you do. Feeling valuable for who you
are as a person, as well as what you do, is probably the most
important consequence of receiving "thank you's." When we feel
value-able, we feel able to be valued...to be cherished...to be loved.
Feeling value-able means we are important as individuals in and of
ourselves. When we feel personally valued, we no longer need to
frantically seek approval from others. We no longer need to feel
frightened of our own inadequacies. We are valuable for who we are as
persons. What we do, or our behavior, may or may not be appreciated.
But that isn't as important, if we feel valuable as the individual
persons we are.
When we are appreciated for who we are, the need for validation is
filled and the old helpless-hostile-dependency cycle is replaced by
one of confident-caring-intimacy (CCI). No wonder Nobel-prize winner,
Hans Selye, said the most healthy emotion you can experience is one of
gratitude. Selye's famous research about stress and it's effect on
human health, indicated that "vengeance" was the most harmful emotion.
"Gratitude" the most beneficial.
In changing the HHD cycle to the CCI cycle, the importance of the
regular and persistent saying of "thank you" for being you, and "thank
you" for what you do, cannot be over-emphasized.
Thank you for reading my column today, for responding to it and
especially for being the valuable people you are.
Dr. Thomas is a licensed psychologist, author, speaker, and life
coach. He serves on the faculty of the International University of
Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams)
the book: "Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and
Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice...and Your Life!" (W.W. Norton
2005) It is available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
It's My Fault Because I Had a Drink? How Being Sexually Assaulted Introduced Me to Victim-Blaming Culture
Thursday, December 22, 2011
It seems more and more that the holidays are becoming mercenary, and sanitized of human compassion and love. People attack each other in stores, for a gift for themselves .. and other head-shaking tales become a norm, rather than a bizarre incident.
As a mom, who loved the entire season and celebrated the last quarter of the year, I have found it curious that many parents I observe in public are so focused with 'eyes on the prize'... the material prize. As they walk, they appear to be oblivious to the holiday's joys through the eyes of the smallest members of their family. Their toddler's cries which are so obviously ones of exhaustion and sensory stimulation, yet go unheeded (at best) or greeted with a Merry Christmas smack on the butt. Antithetical. Simply antithetical.
I just read an article about a Vet who came home, and sold one of his two Purple Hearts to be able to afford some food and gifts for his young family. I admit that took my breath away. Antithetical. Simply antithetical.
The holidays, at the very least, are a reminder (allegedly) of the higher sides of us ... some days to reflect on who we are.....even if that reflection takes place cooking a turkey, or wrapping of gifts. What have our minds become that we cannot 'take custody' of them, if you will ....in such a manner?
This post, one of Ho'Oponopono, is one I post at least twice a year. It seems timely to do so again.
Both as a therapist and a human being, it is an interesting clue to me when folks are uncomfortable with regular use of, "I'm sorry" or "Thank you". However this blog is not for the psychological hints of character. It is about a celebration for those who can do that, or who actively aspire to and work towards that.
A couple of years ago, a good friend introduced me to Ho'Oponopono. I had never heard of the Hawaiian practice until then, but I discovered it to be immensely healing and with a strong code of personal accountability all at the same time. It is used, among other things, as a form of therapy. Frankly....to me it certainly is. Some (me included) initially discovered a little resistance to saying (even in private) "I'm sorry" or "I thank you" or "I forgive you" or "I love you" ......to someone who might have egregiously hurt us. Therein lies a real point of exploration and personal truth ... and squaring with the Universe! While I believe some faith in a higher power is likely necessary to truly feel the impact of the process, I think the exercise is immensely humbling, empowering, loving, compassionate ... all at once. Sometimes Ho'Oponopono can seem simple and esoteric at the same time. When we have accountability for our human actions is loving and freeing all at once.
I am including the video in this blog (above). I shared it with my adolescent male group therapy, actually wondering what the reaction would be. I was surely surprised with the comments they made to me, one by one, after the group. As I would hear what they had to say about their experiences, I was joyful.
I made a practice to play it most evenings as I would fall asleep ... it simply seemed to provide great clarity and comfort to me. The practice really makes life simple in its own way. The above meditation also has some directions for EFT, so if you have not experienced that, just focus on the actual meditation.
Here is a paste from one of the sites which "breaks it down" into simplicity. Exploring other sites is also immensely uplifting and :
HO'OPONOPONO - HO OPONOPONO - HOOPONOPONO
Though it is often held up as a virtue, individual responsibility is almost never meant to convey absoluteindividual responsibility. In fact, some people who are heavily into the idea of responsibility will place blame on others very quickly. This may seem completely reasonable to these people and to many others too; but placing blame like this is in opposition to the ho'oponopono (ho oponopono, hooponopono) belief system. In ho'oponopono the problem is never with someone else - it's in you.
For those who might reject ho'oponopono 100% responsibility, it may help to know that 100% responsibility in ho'oponopono (ho oponopono, hooponopono) is not the same as blame. You don't need to blame yourself for problems - just know that problems you experience are there for you to resolve.
Ho'oponopono can be applied through different processes. Mentally saying 'I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you' is a ho'oponopono process. Drinking what's referred to as blue solar water -- tap water poured into a blue glass bottle and set in the sun or under a non fluorescent light for an hour or more -- is considered to be a ho'oponopono (ho oponopono, hooponopono) process. The key to these and any other ho'oponopono process is consistent application. The more you put ho'oponopono to use, the more you can experience life changing results.