"6 Types of Emotional Abuse" / found on afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com

6 Types of Emotional Abuse by Narcissistic Parents

NOV 2

Posted by ANA - After Narcissistic Abuse

1. REJECTING 

Narcissistic Parents or caregivers who display rejecting behavior toward a child will often [purposefully or unconsciously] let a child know, in a variety of ways, that he or she is unwanted. Putting down a child’s worth or belittling their needs is one form these types of emotional abuse may take. Other examples can include telling a child to leave or worse, to get out of your face, calling him names or telling the child that he is worthless, making a child the family scapegoat or blaming him for family/sibling problems. Refusing to talk to or holding a young child as he or she grows can also be considered abuse.

• constant criticism

• name-calling

• telling child he/she is ugly

• yelling or swearing at the child

• frequent belittling and use of labels such as “stupid” or “idiot”

• constant demeaning jokes

• verbal humiliation

• constant teasing about child’s body type and/or weight

• expressing regret the child wasn’t born the opposite sex

• refusing hugs and loving gestures

• physical abandonment

• excluding child from family activities

• treating an adolescent like he is a child

• expelling the child from the family

• not allowing a child to make his own reasonable choices

2. IGNORING 

Adults who have had few of their emotional needs met are often unable to respond to the needs of their children. They may not show attachment to the child or provide positive nurturing. They may show no interest in the child, or withhold affection or even fail to recognize the child’s presence. Many times the parent is physically there but emotionally unavailable. Failing to respond to or interact with your child, consistently, constitutes emotional and psychological abuse.

• no response to infant’s spontaneous social behaviors

• failure to pay attention to significant events in child’s life

• lack of attention to schooling, peers, etc.

• refusing to discuss your child’s activities and interests

• planning activities/vacations without including your child

• not accepting the child as an offspring

• denying required health care

• denying required dental care

• failure to engage child in day to day activities

• failure to protect child

3. TERRORIZING

Parents who use threats, yelling and cursing are doing serious psychological damage to their children. Singling out one child to criticize and punish or ridiculing her for displaying normal emotions is abusive. Threatening a child with harsh words, physical harm, abandonment or in extreme cases death is unacceptable. Even in jest, causing a child to be terrified by the use of threats and/or intimidating behavior is some of the worst emotional abuse. This includes witnessing, hearing or knowing that violence is taking place in the home.

• excessive teasing

• yelling, cursing and scaring

• unpredictable and extreme responses to a child’s behavior

• extreme verbal threats

• raging, alternating with periods of warmth

• threatening abandonment

• berating family members in front of or in ear range of a child

• threatening to destroy a favorite object

• threatening to harm a beloved pet

• forcing child to watch inhumane acts

• inconsistent demands on the child

• displaying inconsistent emotions

• changing the “rules of the game”

• threatening that the child is adopted or doesn’t belong

• ridiculing a child in public

• threatening to reveal intensely embarrassing traits to peers

• threatening to kick an adolescent out of the house

FACT: Children and youth who witness family violence experience all six types of emotional abuse.

4. Isolating

A parent who abuses a child through isolation may not allow the child to engage in appropriate activities with his or her peers; may keep a baby in his or her room, not exposed to stimulation or may prevent teenagers from participating in extracurricular activities. Requiring a child to stay in his or her room from the time school lets out until the next morning, restricting eating, or forcing a child to isolation or seclusion by keeping her away from family and friends can be destructive and considered emotional abuse depending on the circumstances and severity.

• leaving a child unattended for long periods

• keeping a child away from family

• not allowing a child to have friends

• not permitting a child to interact with other children

• rewarding a child for withdrawing from social contact

• ensuring that a child looks and acts differently than peers

• isolating a child from peers or social groups

• insisting on excessive studying and/or chores

• preventing a child from participating in activities outside the home

• punishing a child for engaging in normal social experiences

5. Corrupting

Parents who corrupt may permit children to use drugs or alcohol, watch cruel behavior toward animals, watch or look at inappropriate sexual content or to witness or participate in criminal activities such as stealing, assault, prostitution, gambling, etc.
Encouraging an underage child to do things that are illegal or harmful is abusive and should be reported.

• rewarding child for bullying and/or harassing behavior

• teaching racism and ethnic biases or bigotry

• encouraging violence in sporting activities

• inappropriate reinforcement of sexual activity

• rewarding a child for lying and stealing

• rewarding a child for substance abuse or sexual activity

• supplying child with drugs, alcohol and other illegal substances

• promoting illegal activities such as selling drugs

6. Exploiting

Exploitation can be considered manipulation or forced activity without regard for a child’s need for development. For instance, repeatedly asking an eight-year-old to be responsible for the family’s dinner is inappropriate. Giving a child responsibilities that are far greater than a child of that age can handle or using a child for profit is abusive.

• infants and young children expected not to cry

• anger when infant fails to meet a developmental stage

• a child expected to be ‘caregiver’ to the parent

• a child expected to take care of younger siblings

• blaming a child for misbehavior of siblings

• unreasonable responsibilities around the house

• expecting a child to support family financially

• encouraging participation in pornography

• sexually abusing child or youth

Credit to teach through love. com

http://www.teach-through-love.com/types-of-emotional-abuse.html

Life Coaching Those Obsessed With the Casey Anthony Trial

By Nancy Colasurdo

Published July 08, 2011 

Dear Fellow Americans –

Please feel free to skip right by this if you have no idea who Casey Anthony is or if you know who she is but you’ve managed to live your life without catching a single moment of her murder trial. (Congratulations on that, by the way. No small feat.)

Instead, this is directed to those of you who have latched on to a murder trial featuring a family you’ve never met to the point where you have rearranged your schedules, spewed vitriol, hung on to every word and expression in the courtroom and taken a nice hot bath in self-righteousness.

.

Before you started firing off comments to me on Casey Anthony’s every twitch and the merits of the case against her, you should know it will fall on deaf ears. My only interest in this is to understand what has become a national obsession to the point where I was slack-jawed reading the status updates and comments on my Facebook page and Twitter feed. That doesn’t even include the actual conversations I’ve overheard or extricated myself from because the tone became hostile.

I am sad that a little girl died and I know you are, too. But here’s some perspective -- what about all the others?

According to the FBI’s “Crime in the United States” report, there were 1,494 people under the age of 18 murdered in 2008. More than 500 of those were under age four. Aside from Caylee Anthony, can you name one other victim? In 2009, the total was 1,348 and nearly 500 of those were under age four. How many of them have you left your porch light on for in the name of justice?

Somewhere Sigmund Freud’s head is spinning from all the projection and displaced anger going on around this. I think it’s worth asking ourselves why this case got snared in the American consciousness and what it means in our individual lives. Clearly we need to express frustration and anger and this has provided an outlet.

Casey Anthony has been called a slew of names and she’s been wished dead more times than I can count and the possible ways for her to meet her demise have been detailed. There has been discussion of her karma as well as her lack of tears.

This is a lot of energy expended on a stranger, folks. If you’re in that mix, perhaps it’s time to dig in and figure out why this has affected you so deeply.

For example, if you are struggling to have children, it’s natural to feel frustrated when you perceive someone like Anthony has succeeded in that and squandered it. It’s understandably human to ask why and even have some confusion and/or resentment, but ultimately you have to know railing at a stranger to the level where your blood pressure is rising isn’t going to bring you a baby.

Ditto for all the other possibilities that have you getting so emotionally involved in one woman’s story.

There’s another way to go here.

Ideally, the fever pitch around the Casey Anthony trial could spur action for children in need. If there is time to watch hours of coverage and craft status updates, there is time to funnel the energy into something more productive. One Facebook friend posted a terrific suggestion -- get better acquainted with a Web site for missing kids.

That’s an easy, surface-level idea that requires only time on the Internet. But you can always take it up a notch. Write a check. Write regular checks if you can. Target causes that help make children’s health and well-being a priority.

Just Tell Director Vivian Farmery would be all too happy to let you release your frustration at the mistreatment of children by contributing to Just Tell, whose mission is, according to its Web site, “to educate and empower children and adults around the issue of childhood sexual abuse.”

Need I mention St. Jude’s Hospital? What better place to bring your compassion for children? No extra cash? They appreciate volunteers, too.

So does Big Brothers Big Sisters. Becoming a “big” is an opportunity to affect a child’s life one-on-one in a meaningful and steady way.

This is just a tiny sampling of the organizations that could use your support.

That kind of giving of your time, talent or treasure will not bring back Caylee Anthony or any other murdered child, but it will help you feel like you’re doing something to make a child’s world better. And your world will subsequently improve by leaps and bounds because of your kind actions.

So how about it? Might we harness this energy and fuel a movement for positive change? Will you heed the call?

That would honor Caylee Anthony more than any trumped-up outrage or shining porch lights ever could.

Sincerely,

Nancy

Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com.