"9 Signs You’re An Old Soul" ~ (yet unknown source)

I was hesitant to post this, because I received it in an email, but apparently deleted the email without recording the source as I always do.  Then, I received another email which brought to me this.  The latter had a few differences, but this time it came with no source at all.  While this may be a bit simplistic, I like the piece for exactly that reason.

If anyone reads this and claims authorship, please email me, and I will immediately record it in this post, hence giving proper credit.

9 Signs You’re An Old Soul

 "How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” ~ Satchel Paige

There is a special kind of person in our world who finds himself alone and isolated, almost since birth. His solitary existence isn’t from a preference or an antisocial temperament – he is simply old.  Old in heart, old in mind and old in soul, this person is an old soul who finds his outlook on life vastly different and more matured than those around him.  As a result, the old soul lives his life internally, walking his own solitary path while the rest around him flock to follow another.  Perhaps you’ve experienced this in your own life, or have witnessed it in another person?  If so, this article is dedicated to you, in hopes that you will come to define yourself, or understand another better.

The “Old Soul” Robert Frost, Eckhart Tolle and even Nick Jonas have been called that. Perhaps even you have?  I did.  Like many of them, this self discovery was made upon meeting Sol, who told me about his childhood as a precocious, intelligent boy who would befriend the teachers instead of the students, just because the students still seemed a bit too different from him.  As he related his inability to find deep interest in and insightful connection to the people his age, I discovered that I felt the same, and still do.

If you have not yet discovered whether you’re an old soul, read some of the revealing signs below.

9 Signs You’re An Old Soul

1#   You tend to be a solitary loner. Because old souls are often disinterested in the pursuits and interests of the people in their age groups, they find it dissatisfying to make friends with people they find it hard to relate to. For children, often the "social" role is learned and accepted to "pass". This is one of the major problems Old Souls experience.  The result is … old souls tend to find themselves alone a lot of the time. People just don’t cut it for them, particularly those who may appear shallow, or indifferent to the human condition.

2#   You love knowledge, wisdom and truth. Yep … this seems a little grandiose and overly noble, but the old soul finds himself naturally gravitating towards the intellectual side of life.  Old souls inherently understand that knowledge is power, wisdom is happiness and truth is freedom, so why not seek after those things?  These pursuits are more meaningful to them than reading up on the latest gossip about Snooki’s latest boyfriend, or the latest football scores.

3#   You’re spiritually inclined. More emotional old souls tend to have sensitive and spiritual natures.  Overcoming the confines of the ego, seeking enlightenment and fostering love and peace are the main pursuits of these young-in-body Mother Teresa’s. To them it seems the wisest, most fulfilling use of time. When young, they may still utilize the role to "pass", and use that superficially created role for a modicum of social safety.

4#   You understand the transience of life. Old souls are frequently plagued with reminders of not only their own mortality, but that of everything and everyone around them.  This makes the old soul wary and at times withdrawn, but wisely dictates the way they live their lives. Even though they do not use the "lingo", they are increasingly aware of non-duality.

5#   You’re thoughtful and introspective. Old souls tend to think a lot …about everything. Their ability to reflect and learn from their actions and those of others is their greatest teacher in life.  One reason why old souls feel so old at heart is because they have learned so many lessons through their own thought processes, and possess so much insight into life situations from their ability to quietly and carefully observe what if going on around them.

6#   You see the bigger picture. Rarely do old souls get lost in the superficial details of getting job promotions for status' sake, boob jobs and bigger TV’s.  Old souls have the tendency to look at life from a birds eye view, seeing what is the most wise and meaningful way to approach life. When confronted with issues, old souls tend to see them as temporary and passing pains that merely serve to increase the amount of joy felt in the future. Consequently, old souls tend to have placid, stable natures as a result of their approach to life.  Unless, that is, there sense of fairness is trampled or exploited. (Then you might often see a fiery reaction, since they are strong advocates of justice.)

7#   You aren’t materialistic. Wealth, status, fame, and the latest version of iPhone … they just bore old souls.  While they may have fun with those sorts of things temporarily, ultimately, the old soul doesn’t see the purpose of pursuing things that can be easily taken away from them.  Additionally, old souls have little time and interest for the short-lived things in life, as they bring little meaning or long lasting fulfillment for them.

8#   You were a strange, occasionally socially unskilled kid, due to his/her "boredom" with the "we've always done it this way" types of responses.  This is not always the case, but many old souls exhibit odd signs of maturity at young ages. Often, these children are labelled as being “precocious”, “introverted”, or “rebellious“, failing to fit entirely into the mainstream behaviors.  Usually, these children are extremely inquisitive and intelligent, seeing the purposelessness of many things their teachers, parents and peers say and do, and either passively or aggressively resisting them.  If you can talk to your child like he/she’s an adult – you’ve probably got an old soul on your hands.  Attempts to “crush” these spiritual people will ultimately only be temporary, and result in conflict.

9#   You just “feel” old in heart. Before putting a name to what they feel, he/she might experience frequent sensations of simply being an “old person” inside….wise, seasoned, discerning.  The feelings that accompany being an old soul are usually: a feeling of world wariness, mental tiredness, watchful patience, and detached calmness. Unfortunately, this can often be perceived as being aloof and cold, which is only one of many Old Soul Myths.

Just as some old people describe themselves as being “young at heart”, sotoo can young people be “old at heart”.

"U.S. News Best Diets: How We Rated 32 Eating Plans" - US News~ Paleo the worst!

Following my posting of other articles about Paleo, I was delighted when the "guru" of research and surveys about almost any subject at all (U.S.News and World Report), substantiated the lack of effectiveness and healthiness of the Paleo Diet. In almost ALL categories, it was the LEAST beneficial.  In a couple of categories it was the second from the bottom of all the plans.  


What the Paleo is NOT:  good overall diet, heart-healthy, good for diabetics, and certainly not good for weight loss.


CLICK HERE FOR RESEARCH! U.S. News Best Diets: How We Rated 32 Eating Plans - US News

From U.S. News:  "Diets come and go, teasing and tempting us with dreams of that elusive hot body. Eat what you want! Pounds melt away overnight! The reality, as frustrated dieters know well, is that dieting is hard, and frankly, most diets don't work. Some can even threaten your health. And digging out the truth about dieting, let alone deciphering whether particular plans live up to the hype, is laborious enough to burn off a pound or two by itself.

Best Diets 2014 cuts through the clutter of claims. Now in its fourth year, Best Diets delivers the facts about 38 eating plans and ranks 32 of them on a range of levels, from their heart healthiness to their likelihood to help you lose weight."

"Married to a Narcissistic Husband? Proceed with Caution! "| The Narcissistic Life

"....."Certainly all relationships have challenges. But being married to a narcissistic husband can be a very complicated and thorny journey. A narcissistic husband can be vain, insensitive to your needs, violent, and exceptionally critical of you. Living with a person like that can be destructive and demoralizing. It can leave you feeling confused and hurt by their seemingly incomprehensible actions. Theoretically, it is possible to negotiate a relationship with a narcissistic individual; but keep in mind that most narcissists are unlikely to recognize or take responsibility for needing to adjust the current unhealthy relationship...."    CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING:

Message from Onenessofall.com

JULY 20, 2014 Today we speak to you of ascension. You are beginning now to see the results of higher dimensional energies pouring into world consciousness causing the dissolution of many old paradigms and bringing in a receptivity to truth and there is much yet to come. Up till now, ascension has been the distant goal of hundreds of individual lifetimes of experience and learning finally to be understood only after death with the help of one's Guides. However at this time--NOW, planetary energy is shifting and raising in frequency through the presence of so many enlightened beings on earth at this time. There are many from other planets here in human body simply to add their light to this process. The higher dimensional Light of so many enlightened ones is serving to dissolve the false and bring about the personal ascension of many while still in physical body. Those of you reading and resonating with the Arcturian messages can rest assured that you chose to be here at this powerful time to be a part of this. Ascension is the reason so many struggle with difficult experiences. In order to shift into higher dimensional energy, there must first be a clearing of the lower resonating energies still held in cellular memory--these energies cannot be carried with you into the higher. These energies usually remain dormant as long as an individual is comfortable and all seems to be going well--thus some powerful "wake up call" may be needed to jolt him out of complacency. "Negative" experiences are not signs of failure for a spiritual student, but instead are indications of a spiritual readiness to move deeper. However not all energies needing to be released are negative, sometimes it is an intense connection to someone that has become so interdependent over time as to hold the student back. Because this is such an important time on earth, most of you chose birth families that would serve to activate deeply buried issues, bringing them to a conscious level where they could be finally resolved and released. Through an honest examination of all experiences, the good as well as the bad, you will come to understand that much of what you have accepted as the way things "must be done, must appear, must work" in order for them to be correct, are instead simply concepts, many of which were accepted in other lifetimes and carried into this one. Everyone has had different lifetime experiences and so everyone's clearing experiences will be different. Impersonal universal human consciousness contains all third dimensional thoughts and beliefs. The beliefs and ideas of this impersonal human consciousness are never yours until you personally accept them as true, at which time they become your state of consciousness and can begin to manifest outwardly. You may say; "But I don't believe this" or "I am spiritually aware, so how did this thing manifest in my life?" This is because energies of duality and separation are still resonating in cellular memory and any general acceptance of the third dimensional belief system will appear outwardly. There is no un-manifest consciousness. Many of you may re-experience these impersonal energies as they clear, especially those from the emotional body, just don't pull them back in, once again personalizing them. If it seems to you as if you are going no where spiritually, know that this suggestion arises from human concepts of how spiritual experiences must look. Films, books, and even some spiritual teachers present pictures and ideas of ascension and spiritual evolution according to their personal experiences and state of consciousness. Every individual is different and there is no one experience for all--to believe you must have a particular experience is human. Some are attracted to the teachings of the East because they learned and lived these teachings in other lifetimes and resonate with them. Others may find themselves drawn to teachings from the nature path...those of Native Americans and other aboriginal groups. Many are finding themselves drawn to convents and monasteries for no apparent reason. This is because you have lived these experiences in other lifetimes and everything you resonate with either positively or negatively is now coming to your awareness. Always remember that at a certain point, you no longer need the modalities--paths, rituals, and teachings. Tools can guide and assist in the earlier phases of awakening but are no longer necessary after realizing that you already are that which you seek and that your oneness with Source constitutes your oneness with all that Source is. The tools can help open an individual to deeper awareness but there comes a time at which any dependence upon them must cease in order that teaching come from within. Holding tightly to some path, tradition, or teaching after it has been outgrown only serves to keep one in old and finished energy. This does not mean you cannot occasionally work with an evolved reader or teacher, or schedule an energy session, or take some class you may be guided to take. It means you no longer believe you NEED these things. It is important that you not judge yourselves for any human beliefs or thoughts that may flow to you even if you temporarily accept them. Impersonal ideas are often inadvertently accepted because you still resonate with their energy. For example if a person has had many previous lifetimes of disease, he will be more susceptible to the concepts of health and disease floating about in universal consciousness. Resist any temptation to guilt, regret, or self loathing for thoughts or actions you may embrace, instead use these realizations as reminders to go deeper. If you realize that you have ignorantly accepted some belief or another that you now recognize as false, know that the sky is not going to fall down nor will you be "smote from above" as punishment. These experiences are simply opportunities for growth, and investing them with a power they do not have is duality and separation. Always remember that nothing, no word, thought, experience, or appearance can ever separate you from who and what you really are. Learning becomes more gentle with time because the need to learn through struggle and pain is finished. Most of you are at that point now. Trust your intuitive sense about things. If some thing in your life (food, books, entertainment, world view etc.) is no longer resonating with you, know that you have shifted beyond the energy of it and try not to revive it as it was in the past no matter how pleasant or perfect it may of been at that time. Try very hard not to add energy to negative outer appearances, but instead reinterpret them. For example, you may become aware of some humanly negative or violent activity, but the spiritual reality is that all activity between living things is the activity of interconnectedness (Love-- many within the One). In this case that spiritual interconnectedness is being reflected through the third dimensional consciousness of separation--it is still the interaction within the One, but colored by false belief. Trust that once you choose to evolve, you are indeed evolving regardless of any outer appearances. It is not necessary to jump up and down, light a candle, chant certain chants, go to church every week, or stand facing a certain direction saying certain words to get the process moving. You have all evolved beyond these beginner activities or you wouldn't be reading these messages. Nothing is needed but the intention to evolve. It does not mean you cannot visit a church and enjoy the beauty of a service nor does it mean you cannot sign a petition or speak your truth. It means you no longer give these things a power they don't have, but instead, rest in the realization that there is only one power and that power is within. There are those who believe they have already know all the answers and so there is nothing more for them to learn or understand. Sadly, this ego stance serves to act as a box enclosing them with their own creations and preventing any real spiritual growth until such time as they are ready to open themselves to more. Evolution is a gradual journey into higher dimensional energy. Ascension is the achievement of that state of consciousness that will allow you to shift into the higher frequencies. The higher and faster the frequencies, the nearer to pure Light they become. The third dimensional world is unable to see these higher frequencies with human eyes and so denies them, but this is changing as more and more come into alignment with them. As beings of light, you allowed your energy to slow and become dense in order to experience the third dimension for the purpose of remembering truth while seemingly separated from it. At this time most of you are ready for completion and are on earth to once and for all clear any remaining energies from these life times. Trust that you are well on your way regardless of the lack of so called spiritual experiences. Open your hearts to the truth behind what you may behold in the outer knowing that all, even the seemingly un-awakened are releasing old energy. There are some not yet ready for ascension, honor them and concern yourselves with your own inner work. It is not wisdom to try and convert another not yet ready for your level of awareness. Keep truth silent and secret in your heart and those ready for what you have will find you for energy seeks its own level. Relax, rest, and take time often to go within, even if you have to get up in the middle of the night to find quiet. Stay present in each moment no matter how mundane or frightening--this is the spiritual journey which rarely comes as the blast of heavenly light depicted in movies except to those who have already attained their personal ascension in a previous lifetime. Trust, trust, trust that which is within. It is time to claim your own Divine Power.

Compelling Staff Pick from VIMEO ~ "The Golden Age"

Woodkid - 'THE GOLDEN AGE' feat. Max Richter 'EMBERS' (Official HD Video) from WOODKID on Vimeo.

"Death Makes Life Possible" ~ Vimeo

Mirroring People | IONS Library | Institute of Noetic Sciences

The New Science of How We Connect with Others

What accounts for our remarkable ability to get inside another person's head--to know what he or she is thinking and feeling? Marco Iacoboni, a leading neuroscientist, explains the groundbreaking research into mirror neurons, the "smart cells" in our brain that allow us to understand others.    CLICK HERE to continue reading!

"The Physics of Near-Death Experiences: A Five-Phase Theory©" Noetic Now Journal | Institute of Noetic Sciences

by Maureen Venselaar, PhD

Ed. Note: The phenomenon of near-death experience continues to attract the interest of a wide range of scientists, among them Dutch researcher Maureen Venselaar. In this article, she proposes a significantly updated theory on what happens during such events, rooted in the dynamics of both physics and astrophysics. This topic has been a longtime focus of study for IONS and its network of colleagues. Most recently, we reported on the “Final Passages” forum hosted by the Promega Corporation and the BTC Institute, and we are collaborating with Deepak Chopra on a feature film titled Death Makes Life Possible.

---

The near-death experience (NDE) is an impressive, extraordinary, and life-changing event that usually happens during unconsciousness. Well-known features of the NDE are the out-of-body experience, traveling through a tunnel, and seeing a light. In their quest to find answers about the cause of the NDE, the mainstream scientific community has so far come up with two explanations.  CLICK HERE to continue reading

Love Your Inner Slob ~ Colin Tipping - perfectionism

CLICK HERE TO READ

See the Inspirational Tattoo on Latest Medal of Honor Winner Kyle Carpenter - ABC News

See the Inspirational Tattoo on The Medal of Honor Winner

Jun 19, 2014, 4:32 PM

By COLLEEN CURRY

COLLEEN CURRYMore From Colleen »

Reporter

President Barack Obama reaches out to retired Marine Cpl. William "Kyle" Carpenter, after awarding him the Medal of Honor for conspicuous gallantry, June 19, 2014, during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington.

Jacquelyn Martin/AP Photo

Marine William "Kyle" Carpenter received the Medal of Honor today from President Barack Obama, an award reserved for those who show the utmost bravery in combat.

Carpenter received the medal for his decision to jump on a grenade and save his friend while in combat in Afghanistan three years ago.

He was gravely injured, losing one eye and suffering a broken jaw and broken arm.

The tattoo he was sporting on his side when he went into battle, however, was unchanged:

Carolyn Kaster/AP Photo

PHOTO: This photo taken May 13, 2014 shows medically retired Marine Lance Cpl. Kyle Carpenter lifting his shirt to show a tattoo on his side as he speaks with media at the Pentagon.

"Blessed be the Lord my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle," reads the tattoo, which is a quote from Psalm 144.

Carpenter, of Flowood, Miss., is now studying at the University of South Carolina.

Obama awards Medal of Honor to Marine Kyle Carpenter - CBS News

Last Updated Jun 19, 2014 3:05 PM EDT

Lance Cpl. William "Kyle" Carpenter and Lance Cpl. Nicholas Eufrazio were on a rooftop in Helmand Province in Afghanistan in November 2010 when they were attacked by enemy fighters. A live grenade landed on the roof next to both men, and Carpenter threw himself between the grenade and his fellow Marine.

Eufrazio "received a shrapnel injury to the head from the grenade," while Carpenter's body "absorbed a majority of the resulting explosion," according to theofficial Marine Corps' account of the incident.

Play VIDEO

Medal of Honor: Marine dives in front of grenade to save fellow Marine

Play VIDEO

Medal of Honor recipient: "I was not gonna make it"

37 PHOTOS

Kyle Carpenter, an American hero

Carpenter sustained an almost unbelievable array of injuries, including a skull fracture and a punctured lung. Doctors at a nearby military hospital pronounced him dead on arrival, sure he wouldn't survive.

But roughly 40 surgeries and almost four years later, Carpenter visited White House on Thursday to receive the Medal of Honor, the nation's highest military honor, from President Obama. The award is given to those whose personal acts of valor and bravery go above and beyond the call of duty. At 24 years old, Carpenter is its youngest living recipient.

Obama awards Medal of Honor to Marine Kyle Carpenter - CBS News

Main/Sociopathic Soldier - Television Tropes

This examines the dark side of war, and soldiers.  "COMPARE AND CONTRAST" to our newest Medal of Honor winner,  Kyle Carpenter (above), who has survived against ALL odds.
CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

Sadistic Personality Disorder - Aggressive / PsychNet UK

This disorder is characterized by cruel, aggressive, manipulative, and demeaning behavior directed towards others. Abusiveness and violence are common in the sadist's social relationships, because the sadist lacks concern for people and derives pleasure from harming or humiliating others. There are similarities between sadistic PD and the more aggressive antisocial PD, however, the antisocial person does not generally hurt others just for pleasure. There may also be an association between sadistic PD and sexual sadism, in which the person derives sexual arousal and satisfaction from sadistic acts like beating and humiliating someone.

 Maladaptive patterns of motivated behaviour, usually evident for at lease several years.  

 Is fascinated by violence, weapons, martial arts, injury, or torture 

 Enduring, pervasive, maladaptive patterns of behaviour which are usually recognised before or during adolescence. 

 It is long-standing and its onset can be traced to adolescence or early adulthood, but is not due to drugs (of abuse or medication) or to a medical condition eg head injury. 

 The behaviour pattern is inflexible across all personal and social situations and significantly impairs their social or occupational functioning. 

 Has used physical cruelty or violence for the purpose of establishing dominance in a relationship (not merely to achieve some noninterpersonal goal, such as striking someone in order to rob him or her). 

 Humiliates or demeans people in the presence of others, 

 Has treated or disciplined someone under his or her control unusually harshly, e.g., a child, student, prisoner, or patient, 

 Is amused by, or takes pleasure in, the psychological or physical suffering of others (including animals), 

 Has lied for the purpose of harming or inflicting pain on others (not merely to achieve some other goal) 

 Gets other people to do what her or she wants by frightening them (through intimidation or even terror), 

 Restricts the autonomy of people with whom he or she has a close relationship, e.g., will not let spouse leave the house unaccompanied or permit teen-age daughter to attend social functions. 

 DSM-IV Code: Not Specified

Differential Diagnosis:

Some disorders have similar or even overlapping symptoms. The clinician, therefore, in his diagnostic attempt has to differentiate against the following disorders which need to be ruled out to establish a precise diagnosis.

Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Schizoid Personality Disorder.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder.
Paranoid Personality Disorder.
Personality Change Due to a General Medical Condition.
Symptoms that may develop in association with chronic substance use.

Cause:

There is no clear cause for sadistic personality disorder; some theories suggest that it is a function of how one is brought up, but biological factors are likely as well. 

Treatment:

Treating a personality disorder takes a long time. Personality traits such as coping mechanisms, beliefs, and behavior patterns take many years to develop, and they change slowly. Changes usually occur in a predictable sequence, and different treatment modalities are needed to facilitate them. Reducing environmental stress can quickly relieve symptoms such as anxiety or depression. Behaviors, such as recklessness, social isolation, lack of assertiveness, or temper outbursts, can be changed in months. Group therapy and behavior modification, sometimes within day care or designed residential settings, are effective. Participation in self-help groups or family therapy can also help change socially undesirable behaviors.

Counseling and Psychotherapy [ See Therapy Section ]:

Although treatment differs according to the type of personality disorder, some general principles apply to all. Family members can act in ways that either reinforce or diminish the patient's problematic behavior or thoughts, so their involvement is helpful and often essential. 

Pharmacotherapy [ See Psychopharmacology Section ] :

Drugs have limited effects. They can be misused or used in suicide attempts. When anxiety and depression result from a personality disorder, drugs are only moderately effective. For persons with personality disorders, anxiety and depression may have positive significance, ie, that the person is experiencing unwanted consequences of his disorder or is undertaking some needed self-examination.

"Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths - protect yourself" -- Science of the Spirit -- Sott.net

The empath. Often, the person targeted by the sociopath is an empath. Empaths are ordinary people who are highly perceptive and insightful and belong to the 40% of human beings who sense when something's not right, who respond to their gut instinct. In The Emperor's New Clothes, the empath is the boy who mentions the unmentionable: that there are no clothes.  CLICK  HERE TO READ ARTICLE!

Hate Verizon? Help Stop VerizaRape! - Bogus Data Overages

While this is not my post on Verizarape, it fits my experience precisely!  Cannot wait to switch.  Problem is...to which?

06/05/14 | 17:27PM

Bogus Data Overages

Verizon jacked up cellular data use by 6Gs over a two week period on my phone. When I got the first overage, I contacted them and got the runaround about things it "could" be because of apps I "might" be using, none of which applied in my case. I set the phone cellular data to Off, deleted what few apps I had and waited to see the data usage go down. Next day, 1G more. Following day, another G. Next day 2Gs. All while cellular data was off on a phone that had no apps whatsover on it, and while I was checking email on my laptop from my home wireless. Again, I called and got stuck in the endless loop of pointless meaningless questions. Again, I was told to go to a Verizon store for a diagnostics check. I did. Again, no answers, no bill adjustment, just a run around. And another text saying I'd used ANOTHER G of data that afternoon. Called back, got a CS rep who then pretended to be his own supervisor by using cartoon voices. Contacted their social media CS, got nothing but some pantywaist saying it "hurt him" to hear I was having a bad experience (sac up, baby boy, and just fix the problem already...). No one can fix this, no one will credit my bill and no one will release me from contract even though they can't resolve the problem. Verizon is about as dishonest and scumsucking as it gets. POed Verizon user - Verizon H8er ID: 90A14F

Hate Verizon? Help Stop VerizaRape! - Bogus Data Overages

The Age of Reason: Seven Year Olds Exercise Conscience | Scholastic.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 
BROGAN ANNABELLA!

The Age of Reason

Around the time of her 7th birthday, your child's conscience emerges to help guide her actions.

By Adele M. Brodkin PhD

Source: Scholastic Parents

Few parents would argue with the observation that children age 6 and younger do not have great control over their feelings and impulses. Nor is your very young child likely to take genuine responsibility for her actions, or heed adults' urging to be considerate of others. When she does the right thing, she is more likely responding to your expectations and demands than exercising her own conscience.

We grown-ups often become impatient with the seeming selfishness of little ones who don't share. But to them, it doesn't make sense that anyone would ask something so outrageous. If they comply, it is to the letter, not the spirit, of the sharing rule. One 3 year old, under great pressure to share a toy with his younger brother, finally handed it over — and then took it back in a flash, saying "Now you share!"

Yes, your baby shows early signs of empathy when she cries because another baby is crying, or when, as a toddler, she brings her wailing playmate to you for consolation. But those situations do not require a sacrifice of self-interest or a belief in doing "the right thing." It is not until the age of 7, give or take a year or so, that your child's conscience begins to mature enough to guide her actions. In fact, there is typically a marked surge in moral and mental maturity at that special moment in development (child psychiatrists Theodore Shapiro and Richard Perry first described this in 1976 in an article titled "Latency Revisited: The Age of Seven, Plus or Minus One"). It's been called the "Age of Reason," since these children have a newly internalized sense of right and wrong. They are no longer focused simply on not getting caught or displeasing adults. They have made up their minds about what is right or wrong, identifying with their primary caregivers' expressed values and applying them quite rigidly.

Many cultures throughout history have observed this growth spurt by raising expectations and offering new privileges. In Medieval times, court apprenticeships began at 7; so too did apprenticeships at the time of the Guilds, and in English Common Law, children under 7 were not considered responsible for their behavior. The Catholic Church offers first Communion at about age 7; it's also when formal schooling begins in most societies. 

At 7 "plus or minus one," your child begins to problem-solve in a new way, using reason rather than pure intuition. He can separate fantasy from reality; and so can be expected to know and tell the truth. Four and 5 year olds don't really "lie"; they adapt the "truth" so that it works for them in a given situation. Anything else makes no sense to them; just as "sharing" makes no sense to 2 year olds. Remember, they also assume that Grandma can see the new toy they are showing her over the phone.

At about 7, fears are no longer of monsters, but of real people, and most of all of not being liked, being different, and risking loneliness. Pride and shame are real now too. Real, rather than simply imagined achievement, enhances self-esteem. Oddly enough, I seem to remember the moment before I crossed over that line. In kindergarten, I was in awe of the older kids who were "Safety Patrols." They wore arm badges, in the school colors, marking their special status. At 5, I thought nothing more was needed to be so privileged than a badge. So I made one myself. The jig was quickly up when my parents recognized my "handiwork." Fortunately, they saved me from embarrassment in school. The badge was set aside for pretend play at home. A year or two later, even the private memory of all that was embarrassing. And incidentally, when I did become a patrol, the magic of the status had vanished — transformed into the merely mundane, since by then, despite myself, I had crossed over into the age of reason. 

Once that happens, children are able to compromise, accept differences in status, and therefore make and maintain friendships. Many can even lose a game without mortification, and can respect the rules of the game. They can say, "I am sorry" and mean it, further solidifying friendships.

What's behind this transformation of wishful thinkers into relatively grounded 7 and 8 year olds? These days, most experts credit biology. Rapid changes in brain anatomy, physiology and chemistry are the underpinnings of a growing clarity about what is real. Your child also recognizes that thoughts are not the same thing as actions, so she is less likely to punish herself for "mean thoughts" alone. Biology has moved her from an egocentric outlook to a sense of her place in a larger world. Celebrating Earth Day now makes more sense, for example.

In addition to the leap in reasonableness, your child has an increased ability to focus and concentrate; and it all adds up to readiness for formal schooling. He is capable of classifying and ordering, and has a more realistic sense of cause and effect. Doing well in the real world becomes vital to his self-esteem; a homemade patrol badge won't do it.  Actual sports and school achievement are important goals; and therefore, serious academic troubles or lack of age-appropriate physical skills can shake confidence.

It is interesting that in this so-called reasonable and quiet period of development (age 7 to 11), there are more referrals to child therapists than at any other age. Why? Children are not more typically troubled during this phase. The gap between a child's functioning and her parents'/teachers' reasonable expectations for greater self-control and capacity to concentrate may lead to the therapist's door. And because this is a far more pliable age than toddlerhood or adolescence, on-target intervention can go a long way. That does not mean that one bad day or power struggle should send you hurrying to a therapist. But if your child's overall pattern of mental, moral, and interpersonal performance is not in line with the realistic expectations for her age outlined here, find out why and offer whatever remediation is needed.

About the Author

Adele M. Brodkin, Ph.D., is a psychologist, consultant, and author of many books, including Fresh Approaches to Working With Problematic Behavior and Raising Happy and Successful Kids: A Guide for Parents. In addition, she has written and produced award-winning educational videos.

"Brainwashing Children"

High level brainwashers are professionals at wrecking parent-child relationships. They are masters at turning their perceived victimhood into manipulative lies intent on destroying their own child’s love for the other parent. This mental child abuse that causes lasting scars, even when the child does one day realize the fraud and lies perpetrated onto them. 

Top actions of an alienating parent

Posted on March 12, 2013 by John in Brainwashing, Exposing the methods

• Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones)
• Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc)
• Limits child’s cellphone and computer usage, so you’ll rarely get a call, text, or email
• Refers to you by your first name in their home (Dad becomes “David;” Mom becomes “Julie”)
• Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives
• Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding even civil conversations with you
• Pops anti-depressant pills (as many have a history of depression)
• Able to hold resentment towards young, innocent children (ie, your children from another marriage)
• Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school
• Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t feel comfortable about the duration of our summer visitation, Dad”
• Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being
• Labels themselves the “good” parent; labels you the “bad” parent
• Tells the child false stories about their childhood
• Tells the child in vivid detail how he or she was victimized by you (while taking no blame at all for the divorce)
• Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn)
• Diminishes your extended family’s worth
• Neglects to have the child call you for your birthday, on New Year’s Eve, or other important dates
• Refuses to help the child reach and call/email/mail cards on relatives’ birthdays on your side of the family tree
• Uses child’s cellphone as a leash
• Rarely if ever a call to you on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day on behalf of child
• Never gets the child excited about seeing you
• Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them
• Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people)
• Attempts via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards
• Takes the child out of state without a peep, while demands precise details whenever you travel with them
• Monopolizes the child’s time for hours on the phone (if you let them)
• Views any event in the child’s life– a distant Aunt’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, etc– as more important than their time with you
• Teaches the children from their current marriage to despise you
• Informs children of alienator’s plans for them past 18 (you’ll go to college at X, and will stay here with me)
• Is jealous of anything fun and memorable you do with the child (as they view the good times as a threat)
• Gripes about things you’re doing as a parent to the child, but says nothing to you about it
• Has outbursts around the child (extremely dramatic ones)
• Lacks a filter, spilling any adult topic into the child’s head

The de-identification of a child’s own parent

Posted on February 21, 2013 by John in Brainwashing, Combating, Exposing the methods

Two extremely unfortunate but common tactics an alienating parent will use to further damage the child’s connection to the targeted parent is to:

• Teach the child to call the targeted parent by their first name
• Eliminate the targeted parent’s last name

Teach the child to call the targeted parent by his/her first name onlyThis is very common. The aggrieved, victimized (in his or her eyes), brainwashing parent can’t stand the thought of the targeted parent being in the child’s life. So since labels and words matter so much in a child’s world, a quick way to devalue that parent is to label them by their first name. Not “Daddy,” and not “Mommy.”

This is destructive to a child’s soul, as now they’ve stopped having a Mom or Dad to address (of course, that label will be used on the alienator’s new spouse if they have one). Since what kids label becomes their reality, over time this causes their feelings to become at minimum muted towards this “Justin” or “Christine.” Imagine calling your own mother “Christine” for years, and never muttering the words “Mommy…”  do you think you’ll have the same feelings towards someone who’s not being labeled your mother?

It’s yet another way of instilling false feelings in children, and it’s abusive.

Eliminate the targeted parent’s last name
Another unfortunate effort by an alienating parent is to eliminate or modify the child’s last name. Of course, we’re talking wiping out or dropping the targeted parent’s last name.

So Elizabeth Tracey Smith, whose father’s last name is Smith, is taught to stop using Smith and substitute the mother’s maiden name, Johnson, instead.

Or John Paul Warren-Stevens, whose mother’s last name is Stevens, is taught to drop Stevens.

Some parents even teach their children that once they’re 18 that they can legally drop the targeted person’s last name.

In my case, my son’s name was modified by the judge to have two last names. When I brought a hearing before the judge showing that my son is being encouraged to not write his last name anywhere (with lots of evidence, including testimony and actual school homework and folders), unfortunately the judge (Judge Gary Coley in Waco, Texas) didn’t care about my concerns and ignored my pleas. So today my son, if his name were George Herbert Walker Bush, has an effective name of George Herbert Walker. My last name,”Bush“, has been eliminated from everything.

How to effectively respond to a de-identification campaign
De-identifying a parent is the cornerstone the parents who are brainwashing their child to get revenge at an ex. If you’re on the receiving end of these techniques, here’s what you need to remember:

1. Do not allow your child to call you by your first name. You don’t allow him or her to use profanity, do you? No difference here. It’s profane to call your own parent by his or her first name.

2. Ensure that your child is using his or her legal last name at school and at sports activities. Speak to the teachers and principal and let them know that you’re concerned that your child is not writing his or her last name correctly.

Do not go heavy on your child with the last tip, as they will just hunker down and resent you further. Use the school to enact the change… not the child.

http://www.brainwashingchildren.com