• Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ; Past experiences: Dream Analysis /10 Years Experience •Psychotherapist / Use of Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies /10 Years Experience •EMDR • Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship • Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) / 21 years experience •Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant • Social Justice Advocate • Child and Human Rights Advocate • Spiritual Guide and Intuitive • Certified Reiki Practitioner • Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups • Parenting Workshops • Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children • International Training: Israel & England • Critical Incident Stress Debriefing • Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer

MSW - UNC Chapel Hill

BSW - UNC Greensboro

"An Unending Love"

This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my daughter, my grand daughters, and my grand son. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.

The Definition of Genius


"ONLY LOVE PREVAILS" ...."I've loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more....."

The degree of our enlightenment is the degree of passion that we will have for the whole world." ~The Greystone Mandala

~The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Winston Churchill

"Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Do not go gentle into that good night."

Dylan Thomas


In “Conversations with God”, by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a warning I think of. I refer to it as the Atlantis passage, and I've quoted it a few times before." As I have said, this isn't the first time your civilization has been at this brink,"

God tells Walsch. "I want to repeat this, because it is vital that you hear this. Once before on your planet, the technology you developed was far greater than your ability to use it responsibly. You are approaching the same point in human history again. It is vitally important that you understand this. Your present technology is threatening to outstrip your ability to use it wisely. Your society is on the verge of becoming a product of your technology rather than your technology being a product of your society. When a society becomes a product of its own technology, it destroys itself."

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The anguish of gaslighting.....

The self-doubt rapidly dissipates once you withdraw all projections about that person who gaslights.  It may not be a rapid process, but once you fully understand the "gaslighter's" attempt to be abusive, you can again breathe, and that feeling is pristine, rosy-cheeked, and unblemished!

The sadness exists that you had wished more from that person, perhaps having put them on a pedestal in your mind and value system.  In the end, you finally understand that much of what they tried to teach you was sort of a "false flag", i.e., perhaps really good principles to teach to an Other.  In the end, you may discover that the very essence of what they tried to teach you is their wish at the basis of their own darkness; however was nothing they actually possessed.  

Your belief that they possessed a particular "brand" of integrity is likely projected by you upon them.  For many reasons, that projection ends up being "awesome" news for you.  Yet that is a discussion for a different time.

More important is the definition of "false flag".  
While fairly military in meaning, it is a perfect fit for the person who, in your life, is the gaslighter:  
Historically the term "false flag" has its origins in naval warfare where the use of a flag other than the belligerent's true battle flag as a ruse de guerre, before engaging the enemy, has long been accepted[1] but the contemporary term False flag describes covert operations that are designed to deceive in such a way that the operations appear as though they are being carried out by entities, groups, or nations other than those who actually planned and executed them.Operations carried out during peace-time by civilian organizations, as well as covert government agencies, may (by extension) be called false flag operations if they seek to hide the real organization behind an operation.

Yet the most important step of all is that, if you heal and grow, and have strong intention, you can eventually view that abuse as sort of a sacred inner work. And one wherein where you completely disengage from that person. Yet, when you really flesh out the term disengagement, it is a spiritual journey. In hindsight, you may come to realize and understand that that human being created something which challenged you to grow beyond hopes, no matter how heartbreaking.

I am reminded of "Sacred Contracts", and also a kids' book, whose title I forget in the moment. (I will add that at a later date .... it is a wonderful book!)  The core of the teachings is that, really, those people who so hurt and betrayed us, were really sent to us with a special mission ... to teach us.

If you are not spiritual in nature, you will not understand what I am saying.  It also requires a basic understanding of non-duality, present in everything which espouses that "in everything is everything".

So, at the end of the day, we can have sort of an agape love for that person for all that their behaviors have eventually taught us.  Isn't that really what it is all about?


"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...