[Shoot-em-up Charlie]
Hi there, gun-lovers and soon-to-be gun lovers!
Shoot-'em-up Charlie here [blam-blam] to tell you how we got George Zimmerman off the hook!
As much as I'd like to, I can't take all the credit!
It's the NRA and ALEC who laid the groundwork!
They've specialized in getting shoot-em-up-friendly laws passed all across the country!
See, the law in Florida is an awful lot like the "model legislation" distributed by ALEC and passed in twenty-six states . . .
Which is an awful lot like the jury instructions in the Zimmerman trial!
These "Stand-Your-Ground" shoot-em-up-friendly laws let you shoot someone if you kinda' reasonably feel you might sorta' be in danger--
Even if you created your own danger by seeking it out. [blam-blam]
Which makes it the victims fault for scaring you, and gives more rights to the person with the gun! [blam-blam]
Sooo we plan on expanding these laws to give more protections and benefits to gun owners everywhere!
Tired of long lines at the DMV?
First-In-Line gun laws will allow you and your gun to move to the head of the line and be on your way faster!
Guns-On-The-Go legislation will let you breeze through tollbooths, unmolested and with rights intact!
Right-To-Feast laws will guarantee you an unlimited food supply,
And Bullet Banking legislation will end your financial worries, and give you more time for your Second Amendment rights!
So whether you're shooting kids on your porch, or screaming at the 911 dispatcher about your new rights, Shoot-Em-Up Charlie and the NRA are here to make shooting easier!
[blam-blam]
I rest my case.
[blam]