Tuesday, May 24, 2011
ALWAYS INFLUENCE, NEVER CONTROL
Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and
Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area
presented in "Practical Life Coaching" (formerly "Practical
Psychology"). Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970)
568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.
When coaching couples, many times I hear statements like: "Our
marriage has gone flat." "All we do is fight...if we talk to each
other at all;" "If only s/he would change, I would be a lot happier;"
Each one complains about his or her partner
Many young adults honestly believe that if they love their partner
enough, or relate to them long enough, that the partner will change.
If they criticize enough, point out the other's weaknesses enough,
blame enough, give enough, yell enough, go silent long enough...their
partner will change.
Some people acknowledge they don't have the power to change
another's thoughts, feelings, opinions, or values. Therefore, they go
on to conclude that they have no impact or influence on anyone. If
what they say or do cannot change how another responds, then it seems
logical to conclude they themselves are powerless, helpless to
influence others. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Everything you do has an impact on yourself, others or your
environment. You are the most powerful and influential creature on
earth. Just because you cannot control the choices or responses of
others, does not mean you function without impact. Simply because you
cannot determine how others think, feel or behave, does not mean you
have no important impact on them at all.
Let's turn this dynamic around and view it from the opposite side.
If you cannot determine how others function, the reverse is also true.
They cannot determine how you behave. Viewed from this perspective,
who determines how we think, feel and behave? Clearly, it is only
you. We have all the power to change ourselves. We have no power to
change others.
Does this mean we are not impacted by the behavior of others? Not
at all. If you walk up and slap me across the face, your behavior
will have a powerful impact on me. However, your slapping me in no
way determines how I will respond. I am free to choose my response
from any number of possibilities. Your slap does not determine my
response. I do.
When you realize you can and do have an impact on others, but have
absolutely no power to determine their responses, you are free to stop
wasting your time and energy focusing on how you can make your spouse,
child or colleague change anything. With that freed-up time and
energy, you might as well use it to modify the only person you can
change...,yourself.
When you change yourself, you modify the nature of the impact you
have on others. Remember, you and your behavior always have
influence. The nature of that influence is determined by your own
choices. You never have control of others. The nature of control
lies within each of us alone. When you fully understand this, you
will stop blaming others, stop reacting to others, stop modifying what
you do in order to "make" someone else happy, angry, sad, or behave in
any way differently than they choose.
Stephen Covey writes in his book, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective
People, "...if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of
person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy
rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant
cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent,
loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in
your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing
employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the
secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary
greatness of [your own] character."
Never forget that who you are...your character, always influences
others. That is your personal power. Manage your power wisely and
you influence the nature of all your relationships. You are helpless
to control or change your partner, but you do have a powerful impact
on the quality of your marriage. Improve the quality of your
character and you improve the quality of not only your marital
relationship, but all your relationships. The only way you can
possibly change your life is to change yourself. You may not
determine or control how life is, but you always have an influence
upon it.
Licensed Psychologist. He is available for coaching in any area
presented in "Practical Life Coaching" (formerly "Practical
Psychology"). Initial coaching sessions are free. Contact him: (970)
568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.
When coaching couples, many times I hear statements like: "Our
marriage has gone flat." "All we do is fight...if we talk to each
other at all;" "If only s/he would change, I would be a lot happier;"
Each one complains about his or her partner
Many young adults honestly believe that if they love their partner
enough, or relate to them long enough, that the partner will change.
If they criticize enough, point out the other's weaknesses enough,
blame enough, give enough, yell enough, go silent long enough...their
partner will change.
Some people acknowledge they don't have the power to change
another's thoughts, feelings, opinions, or values. Therefore, they go
on to conclude that they have no impact or influence on anyone. If
what they say or do cannot change how another responds, then it seems
logical to conclude they themselves are powerless, helpless to
influence others. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Everything you do has an impact on yourself, others or your
environment. You are the most powerful and influential creature on
earth. Just because you cannot control the choices or responses of
others, does not mean you function without impact. Simply because you
cannot determine how others think, feel or behave, does not mean you
have no important impact on them at all.
Let's turn this dynamic around and view it from the opposite side.
If you cannot determine how others function, the reverse is also true.
They cannot determine how you behave. Viewed from this perspective,
who determines how we think, feel and behave? Clearly, it is only
you. We have all the power to change ourselves. We have no power to
change others.
Does this mean we are not impacted by the behavior of others? Not
at all. If you walk up and slap me across the face, your behavior
will have a powerful impact on me. However, your slapping me in no
way determines how I will respond. I am free to choose my response
from any number of possibilities. Your slap does not determine my
response. I do.
When you realize you can and do have an impact on others, but have
absolutely no power to determine their responses, you are free to stop
wasting your time and energy focusing on how you can make your spouse,
child or colleague change anything. With that freed-up time and
energy, you might as well use it to modify the only person you can
change...,yourself.
When you change yourself, you modify the nature of the impact you
have on others. Remember, you and your behavior always have
influence. The nature of that influence is determined by your own
choices. You never have control of others. The nature of control
lies within each of us alone. When you fully understand this, you
will stop blaming others, stop reacting to others, stop modifying what
you do in order to "make" someone else happy, angry, sad, or behave in
any way differently than they choose.
Stephen Covey writes in his book, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective
People, "...if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of
person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy
rather than empowering it. If you want to have a more pleasant
cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent,
loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in
your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing
employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. If you want the
secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary
greatness of [your own] character."
Never forget that who you are...your character, always influences
others. That is your personal power. Manage your power wisely and
you influence the nature of all your relationships. You are helpless
to control or change your partner, but you do have a powerful impact
on the quality of your marriage. Improve the quality of your
character and you improve the quality of not only your marital
relationship, but all your relationships. The only way you can
possibly change your life is to change yourself. You may not
determine or control how life is, but you always have an influence
upon it.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
USDA fines family four million dollars for selling bunny rabbits ~ from Natural News
by Ethan A. Huff, staff writer
When the Dollarhite family of Nixa, Mo., first started raising and selling bunnies as part of a lesson to teach their teenage son about responsibility and hard work, they had no idea they would eventually meet the heavy hand of the US Department of Agriculture (USDA). According to a recent article covered in Breitbart's Big Government, the USDA recently ordered the Dollarhite family to pay more than $90,000 in fines because they sold more than $500 worth of rabbits in a year -- and if they fail to pay the fine by Monday, May 23, the fine will multiply to nearly $4 million.It all started back in 2006 when John Dollarhite and his wife Judy rescued two rabbits that ended up breeding. The family cared for and raised the new rabbits, and eventually began to sell them to neighbors, friends, and others for $10 or $15 each. Having started by first selling the animals for meat, and later for show, the Dollarhites carefully and humanely raised the small creatures on their three-acre homestead, all while teaching their son honest values in a business environment similar to running a small lemonade stand.
Eventually, the Dollarhites developed such a highly-respected reputation across Missouri that the popular Branson, Mo., theme park Silver Dollar City, and even a local pet store, Petland, began purchasing bunnies from the family in 2009. And according to John, individuals from both Silver Dollar City and Petland, as well as a rabbit competition judge, told him that the family's bunnies were among the best they had ever seen -- healthy, beautiful, and very well-cared for.
All seemed well until a USDA inspector showed up at the family's home in the fall of 2009, and asked to do a "spot inspection" of the rabbitry. The inspector made no indication that anything was amiss, but only that she wished to see the facility. After meandering the premises, the inspector claimed that a few very insignificant aspects of the raising facility were in violation of USDA standards, even though the Dollarhites were not USDA certified, nor were they required to be. She then asked if the Dollarhites wished to be part of the voluntary USDA certification system, upon which they told her they would look into it.
After the inspector left, the Dollarhites heard nothing more from the USDA until January 2010 when a Kansas City-based USDA inspector called the family and said he needed to have a meeting with them because they sold more than $500 worth of rabbits in a single year. When the Dollarhites asked why this was a problem and what law this violated, the man refused to offer an explanation over the phone.
Upon meeting in person, the inspector said he was only there to investigate the rabbitry and take notes for a report, upon which he instructed the family to contact another USDA office if they failed to hear anything further from the USDA after six weeks. As the eighth week arrived without any communication, John called the office and was redirected to the Washington, DC, office where a lady shockingly and bluntly explained to him that she had his report, and that the USDA planned to prosecute him and his family "to the maximum that we can" in order to "make an example" out of him.
Shortly thereafter, the Dollarhites received a letter from the USDA Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) ordering them to pay a fine of $90,643 for supposedly violating a mystery law that prohibits the selling of more then $500 in rabbits within a year, even though the Dollarhites were in full accordance with Missouri state law, did not sell their rabbits across state lines, and raised their rabbits humanely and in excess of minimum requirements. The letter outlined that the Dollarhites had until May 23 to pay the exorbitant fine, or else face additional fines totaling nearly $4 million -- all for selling about $4,600 worth of rabbits that netted the family a mere $200 in profits.
The whole scenario proves, once again, that the USDA is nothing more than a tag-team terrorist duo with the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Both agencies' insatiable lust for power and control over private affairs is never satisfied, as they continue to prowl around like bloodthirsty predators seeking whoever and whatever they can devour. When will Americans finally stand up to their tyranny and say enough is enough?
To read the full account of the Dollarhite saga, visit:
http://biggovernment.com/bmccarty/2...
To contact the APHIS division of the USDA responsible for this mess and express your thoughts on the matter, write, call, or email:
USDA/APHIS/AC
4700 River Road, Unit 84
Riverdale, MD 20737-1234
ace@aphis.usda.gov
(301) 734-4978
All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing LLC takes sole responsibility for all content. Truth Publishing sells no hard products and earns no money from the recommendation of products. NaturalNews.com is presented for educational and commentary purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice from any licensed practitioner. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. For the full terms of usage of this material, visit www.NaturalNews.com/terms.shtml
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Bush-Era Tax Cuts Projected As Largest Contributor To Public Debt [CHART]
The Huffington Post William Alden First Posted: 05/20/11 02:50 PM ET Updated: 05/20/11 03:04 PM ET
If the Bush-era tax cuts are renewed next year, that policy will by 2019 be the single largest contributor to the nation's public debt -- "the sum of annual budget deficits, minus annual surpluses" -- according to new analysis from the non-partisan Center for Budget and Policy Priorities.
These tax breaks for the nation's top earners, combined with the cost of fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, will account for nearly half the public debt in 2019, measured as a percentage of economic output, the CBPP's analysis shows. Even the cost of the economic downturn, combined with the cost of the legislation passed to stem the damage, won't be as burdensome as the weight of the Bush-era tax cuts, the chart below suggests. See if you can find the debt associated with the Trouble Asset Relief Program and the rescue of Fannie and Freddie:
Tax cuts for the highest earners were renewed late last year, as part of a deal that extended tax breaks for middle earners and reauthorized unemployment insurance. In an April speech, President Barack Obama laid out a plan to reduce the nation's deficit and debt, suggesting that he would strive to make sure the Bush-era tax cuts expire naturally in 2012.
If tax cuts do expire as scheduled, that would win significant debt relief for the government, CBPP says:
[S]imply letting the Bush tax cuts expire on schedule (or paying for any portions that policymakers decide to extend) would stabilize the debt-to-GDP ratio for the next decade. While we'd have to do much more to keep the debt stable over the longer run, that would be a huge accomplishment.
Friday, May 20, 2011
"Remembering Ritalin," Dr. Lawrence Diller Revisits Former Patients 15 Years Later
Editor's Choice
Main Category: ADHD
Also Included In: Psychology / Psychiatry; Pediatrics / Children's Health; Mental Health
Article Date: 16 May 2011 - 1:00 PDT
In his new book, Dr. Diller provides some findings that many parents, teachers and health care professionals often wonder about. Such as:
- When is an ADHD diagnosis legitimate?
- When is ADHD diagnosis an oversimplified and harmful label?
- Have psychiatrists been too eager to medicate or overmedicate children?
Put simply, the main thrust of the book is "How are his former patients doing now? 15 years later."
In his 1996 book Dr. Diller suggested that ADHD was being diagnosed too quickly in many cases. He believed that Ritalin was commonly being prescribed to children who might have responded effectively to tailored programs, home and school routines, and family therapy.
He warned that America's tolerance to many normal characteristics of childhood would narrow. Characteristics such as, forgetfulness, impulsivity, being easily distracted, daydreaming, and being unmotivated. Children may have those features without necessarily suffering from ADHD.
By being too eager to medicate a child, Dr. Diller wondered how many of them were being turned into lifelong patients unnecessarily.
There are approximately 4.5 million children with an ADHD diagnosis in the USA today, 5% of American children. Two-thirds of them are on some kind of medication to control their symptoms. A growing number of adults are now known as Generation Rx.
Dr. Diller says that about two in every ten of his former patients - now in their twenties and thirties - are significantly bothered with ADHD. He claims that a much higher percentage of his former patients graduated from college compared to some who were followed up in other studies and were prescribed Ritalin-type drugs.
Dr. Diller stresses he is not against medicines, he has been prescribing medications for over three decades. His concern is people's attitudes to accepting or prescribing just a pill, when perhaps diagnosis should be done more carefully, and other options should be considered either alongside the medication or as a first line of therapy.
"Remembering Ritalin"
Dr. Lawrence H. Diller
Written by Christian Nordqvist
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Princess Diana documentary to screen at Cannes
Keith Allen will debut his controversial film, ‘the inquest of the inquest’ of Princess Diana, at the festival as Unlawful Killing will not be shown in UK cinemas
guardian.co.uk, 10 May 2011, Guardian, http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/may/10/princess-diana-documentary-cannes
‘What I found was horrifying’ … Keith Allen and Princess Diana. Photograph: Tim Rooke/Rex Features and Rex Features
Actor and film-maker Keith Allen will screen his controversial documentary about the death of Princess Diana in Cannes on 13 May.
Unlawful Killing, a labour of love developed over three years following extensive interviews with people who knew his subject, alleges that “dark forces” within the British establishment worked to cover up the true details of Diana’s death in 1997. It is described by Allen as “the inquest of the inquest” and has drawn controversy because it will show a photograph of the dying princess taken by paparazzi moments after her car crashed in a Paris tunnel.
The black-and-white image is reportedly so graphic that it was pixelated during the inquest into Diana’s fatal crash. It will not be shown in Britain because the film itself is not being shown in cinemas – due, Allen says, to lawyers who insisted on extensive cuts.
“Screening this film in Cannes for the world’s media will be both exhilarating and terrifying for me,” said the star of Shallow Grave and Trainspotting. “As far back as 2004, I had been intrigued by Mohamed Al Fayed’s unrelenting determination to seek answers to the questions surrounding the death of his son, Dodi and Princess Diana.
“By going ‘undercover’ at the inquest, I hoped to reconcile some of my own suspicions too – but what I experienced was horrifying. This film is, in short, the inquest of the inquest.”
Unlawful Killing will combine a recreation of the inquest and interviews with the late Tony Curtis, Howard Stern, Kitty Kelley, Mohamed Al Fayed, Piers Morgan and Michael Mansfield QC. Dave Stewart provides the original score.
Writing in the Guardian, Allen said: “Unlawful Killing is not about a conspiracy before the crash, but a provable conspiracy after the crash. A conspiracy organised not by a single scheming arch-fiend, but collectively by the British establishment – judges, lawyers, politicians, police chiefs, secret services, even newspaper editors – all of whom have been appointed to their positions because they are ‘a safe pair of hands’.
“Just as compass needles all point north without being told to, so these people instinctively know what is expected of them when the state’s interests are under threat and they act accordingly, quietly suppressing uncomfortable evidence or undermining the credibility of witnesses whose evidence contradicts the official narrative.”
******It seems that the second video, undergoes "difficulty" from time to time.
******It seems that the second video, undergoes "difficulty" from time to time.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
"What Adults Can Learn from Kids" by Adora Svitak
WONDERFUL!!!!!
Child prodigy Adora Svitak says the world needs "childish" thinking: bold ideas, wild creativity and especially optimism. Kids' big dreams deserve high expectations, she says, starting with grownups' willingness to learn from children as much as to teach.
About Adora Svitak
A prolific short story writer and blogger since age seven, Adora Svitak (now 12) speaks around the United States to adults and children as an advocate for literacy. Full bio and more links
"The Filter Bubble": What the Internet Is Hiding from You ~ Eli Pariser
and....What Do Google and Facebook Have in Common?
MoveOn wouldn't be possible without the open Internet. But according to our own Eli Pariser, the Internet itself is changing. His book on the topic, The Filter Bubble, comes out this week (you can check it out here).
MoveOn wouldn't be possible without the open Internet. But according to our own Eli Pariser, the Internet itself is changing. His book on the topic, The Filter Bubble, comes out this week (you can check it out here).
In March, the TED conference invited him to preview the argument. When I talked to Eli beforehand, he was really nervous—in the audience were top executives from Google, Facebook, Microsoft, and a number of other companies he critiques. But his call for an open, ethical Internet—he actually called out the Google founders and Bill Gates in the audience by name—got a standing ovation. And it's been burning up the TED website ever since.
We're sharing it today because we think it's a really important point. Increasingly, the Internet is hiding things from us, and we don't even know it. Take a moment to watch Eli's TED talk today:
The Filter Bubble, Eli's book, has been getting good reviews, too. Here's a particularly good one from author and 350.org organizer Bill McKibben:
"You spend half your life in Internet space, but trust me—you don't understand how it works. Eli Pariser's book is a masterpiece of both investigation and interpretation; he exposes the way we're sent down particular information tunnels, and he explains how we might once again find ourselves in a broad public square of ideas. This couldn't be a more interesting book; it casts an illuminating light on so many of our daily encounters."
If you're interested in the book, you can check it out by clicking on the image to the left or this link—all of Eli's profits from this email will go to MoveOn.org Civic Action.
It's not a given that the Internet will remain fertile ground for democracy. We need to make sure it does, and Eli's argument is an important part of that fight.
Thanks for all you do.
–Daniel and the MoveOn.org Civic Action Team
"Discipline" is not Gingrich's Biggest Problem-from Tim Murphy/Mother Jones
"Discipline" is not Newt Gingrich's Biggest Problem
| Wed May. 18, 2011 7:54 AM PDT
GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich has had a bad week. On Sunday, he criticized GOP Rep. Paul Ryan's plan to phase out Medicare as "social engineering," prompting party leaders to declare his candidacy dead only days after he officially announced it, and forcing Gingrich to personally apologize to Ryan. On Tuesday, Politico reported that Gingrich at one point had a six-figure tab at Tiffany's, the high-end jewlery store. He had a box of glitter dumped on his head at a fundraiser for the anti-gay group Minnesota Family Council. And he co-starred in aviral video clip in which an Iowa Republican encourages him to get out of the race "before you make a bigger fool of yourself."
Not good times, in other words, if you're Newt Gingrich.
So how did things get so bad so fast?
The emerging consensus seems to be that Gingrich's problems stem from a lack of discipline—his tendency to flip from one idea to the next, possibly contradictory idea, without properly explaining himself. As Rich Galen, a former Gingrich aide, told Mike Allen: "This is what people in Washington knew would be the great weakness of a Newt presidential campaign: that he would say whatever came into his head, the moment it came into his head."
That's true-ish; Gingrich is not incredibly disciplined. But the more fundamental problem is this: The things that Newt Gingrich says are very frequently kind of nuts, and members of both parties seem to agree. The problem isn't so much that he can't keep straight whether the country is under assault from a "gay and secular fascism" or an atheist–Islamist agenda; it's that he thinks either one of those is a distinct possibility. There's a real tendency in covering electoral politics to blame campaign implosions on "discipline." Writing last week on former Virginia GOP Sen. George Allen's comeback bid, for instance, the Washington Post's Chris Cillizza explained that Allen's famous use of the obscure racial slur "macaca" demonstrated "a lack of discipline on Allen's part." (Another way of looking at it, given that Allen once kept an actual noose in his office, is that George Allen has, or at least had, a race problem.)
Discipline is a good quality for a candidate to have. But it only counts if you have a quality candidate.
Hold Senators accountable for voting to protect Big Oil subsidies!!!
Dear Friend,
On Tuesday night, 48 Senators, including three Democrats and all but two Republicans, put Big Oil before the American people and helped defeat a bill that would have ended tax breaks for the five biggest oil companies.
How could anyone vote against a bill that would have kept $21 billion of American taxpayers' money out of the pockets of cash-rich oil companies?
One big reason is oil money in our political process. A lot of it. Oil and gas companies spent $39.5 million lobbying congress in just the first quarter of this year, and have donated nearly $18 million to the 48 Senators who voted to protect oil subsidies.
I just signed a petition to hold these Senators accountable for putting Big Oil company profits and campaign contributions ahead of the American people. Join me by signing the petition now: http://act.credoaction.com/
Soldiers Waking Up
This video is intense, and compelling, in a powerfully irresistable way.... and a poignant testimony from some of our troops.
Soldiers Waking Up
Soldiers Waking Up
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"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"
