"Brainwashing Children"

High level brainwashers are professionals at wrecking parent-child relationships. They are masters at turning their perceived victimhood into manipulative lies intent on destroying their own child’s love for the other parent. This mental child abuse that causes lasting scars, even when the child does one day realize the fraud and lies perpetrated onto them. 

Top actions of an alienating parent

Posted on March 12, 2013 by John in Brainwashing, Exposing the methods

• Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones)
• Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc)
• Limits child’s cellphone and computer usage, so you’ll rarely get a call, text, or email
• Refers to you by your first name in their home (Dad becomes “David;” Mom becomes “Julie”)
• Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives
• Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding even civil conversations with you
• Pops anti-depressant pills (as many have a history of depression)
• Able to hold resentment towards young, innocent children (ie, your children from another marriage)
• Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school
• Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t feel comfortable about the duration of our summer visitation, Dad”
• Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being
• Labels themselves the “good” parent; labels you the “bad” parent
• Tells the child false stories about their childhood
• Tells the child in vivid detail how he or she was victimized by you (while taking no blame at all for the divorce)
• Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn)
• Diminishes your extended family’s worth
• Neglects to have the child call you for your birthday, on New Year’s Eve, or other important dates
• Refuses to help the child reach and call/email/mail cards on relatives’ birthdays on your side of the family tree
• Uses child’s cellphone as a leash
• Rarely if ever a call to you on Father’s Day or Mother’s Day on behalf of child
• Never gets the child excited about seeing you
• Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them
• Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people)
• Attempts via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards
• Takes the child out of state without a peep, while demands precise details whenever you travel with them
• Monopolizes the child’s time for hours on the phone (if you let them)
• Views any event in the child’s life– a distant Aunt’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, etc– as more important than their time with you
• Teaches the children from their current marriage to despise you
• Informs children of alienator’s plans for them past 18 (you’ll go to college at X, and will stay here with me)
• Is jealous of anything fun and memorable you do with the child (as they view the good times as a threat)
• Gripes about things you’re doing as a parent to the child, but says nothing to you about it
• Has outbursts around the child (extremely dramatic ones)
• Lacks a filter, spilling any adult topic into the child’s head

The de-identification of a child’s own parent

Posted on February 21, 2013 by John in Brainwashing, Combating, Exposing the methods

Two extremely unfortunate but common tactics an alienating parent will use to further damage the child’s connection to the targeted parent is to:

• Teach the child to call the targeted parent by their first name
• Eliminate the targeted parent’s last name

Teach the child to call the targeted parent by his/her first name onlyThis is very common. The aggrieved, victimized (in his or her eyes), brainwashing parent can’t stand the thought of the targeted parent being in the child’s life. So since labels and words matter so much in a child’s world, a quick way to devalue that parent is to label them by their first name. Not “Daddy,” and not “Mommy.”

This is destructive to a child’s soul, as now they’ve stopped having a Mom or Dad to address (of course, that label will be used on the alienator’s new spouse if they have one). Since what kids label becomes their reality, over time this causes their feelings to become at minimum muted towards this “Justin” or “Christine.” Imagine calling your own mother “Christine” for years, and never muttering the words “Mommy…”  do you think you’ll have the same feelings towards someone who’s not being labeled your mother?

It’s yet another way of instilling false feelings in children, and it’s abusive.

Eliminate the targeted parent’s last name
Another unfortunate effort by an alienating parent is to eliminate or modify the child’s last name. Of course, we’re talking wiping out or dropping the targeted parent’s last name.

So Elizabeth Tracey Smith, whose father’s last name is Smith, is taught to stop using Smith and substitute the mother’s maiden name, Johnson, instead.

Or John Paul Warren-Stevens, whose mother’s last name is Stevens, is taught to drop Stevens.

Some parents even teach their children that once they’re 18 that they can legally drop the targeted person’s last name.

In my case, my son’s name was modified by the judge to have two last names. When I brought a hearing before the judge showing that my son is being encouraged to not write his last name anywhere (with lots of evidence, including testimony and actual school homework and folders), unfortunately the judge (Judge Gary Coley in Waco, Texas) didn’t care about my concerns and ignored my pleas. So today my son, if his name were George Herbert Walker Bush, has an effective name of George Herbert Walker. My last name,”Bush“, has been eliminated from everything.

How to effectively respond to a de-identification campaign
De-identifying a parent is the cornerstone the parents who are brainwashing their child to get revenge at an ex. If you’re on the receiving end of these techniques, here’s what you need to remember:

1. Do not allow your child to call you by your first name. You don’t allow him or her to use profanity, do you? No difference here. It’s profane to call your own parent by his or her first name.

2. Ensure that your child is using his or her legal last name at school and at sports activities. Speak to the teachers and principal and let them know that you’re concerned that your child is not writing his or her last name correctly.

Do not go heavy on your child with the last tip, as they will just hunker down and resent you further. Use the school to enact the change… not the child.

http://www.brainwashingchildren.com

OCD, Lying, Hyper-responsibility...by Janet Singer, Psych Central

"My son Dan was an honest child; an unusually upfront, truthful boy, who as far as I know, never lied to me. Teachers and relatives would comment on his honesty as well, saying things such as, “If we want to know what really happened, we ask Dan.”

Enter obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE...

Jon Stewart Chides Fox News: You'd Like Bob Bergdahl's Beard If He Was On 'Duck Dynasty' | Alternet

"The Daily Show's Jon Stewart took a comedic swipe at Brian Kilmeade of the Fox & Friends morning show for criticizing the long beard worn by the father of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl. Kilmeade suggested the recently-released prisoner-of-war's father was un-American by continuing to wear a beard that he said he grew as a sign of solidarity with his son during his imprisonment....."  CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

"The Best Kept Secret to Happiness: Compassion" ~ PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

"Marketing executives want us to believe that happiness lies in a product that will taste delicious, magically fill our bank accounts, or transform us into a supermodel that looks not a day past 20. Our social norms promise that happiness will lie in status, accomplishments, relationships, and possessions. We are always on the lookout for the next thing: once we have the perfect mate, we look for the perfect home; once we've found the perfect home, we look for a bigger one, or a new car or a bigger bank account; once the perfect job is attained, we look for the next promotion or look forward to retirement or a new job.  We seem to be.........."CLICK HERE TO READ MORE.....

The Positive Psychology of Kindness ~ Psychology Today ~ Patty O'Grady, PhD

"One of the core principles of positive psychology is generating positive emotion by deploying strengths. If youth feel grateful, they act kindly. They learn to understand that others have struggles and challenges and appreciate their own blessings - sharing kindness. If youth feel brave....."

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

"The Boy Who Lived Before", and Growing Bank of Reincarnation Proof? ~ You Tube

Joshua Coleman, PhD

Climate Deniers: Our House Is On Fire, but Their Heads Remain in the Sand ~ The Nation, reprinted by Alternet

"Even with rising deaths, drought, heat waves and repeated refrains from climatologists, the GOP refuses to uncover its ears......."       CLICK HERE TO READ...

Why Do You Yawn When You're Not Sleepy? ~ Psychology Today

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

This article "may explain why some people are more susceptible to contagious yawning than others. Psychologist Steven Platek and his team at Drexel University in Philadelphia gave 65 college students personality tests. The tests measured their empathy, or how well they perceived....."

"Why Do We Make Students Sit Still in Class?" ~ CNN/ Carolina Blatt-Gross

Some years ago, as a bilingual advocate in an elementary school, I had the unique honor of being exposed to a teacher who brilliantly, and almost seamlessly,  created what we might be lucky to find in a private school.  Maybe. Michael Gurian would have praised her efforts.  I know I surely did. 

Consequently, the school overloaded her classes.  While she occasionally was frustrated, her passion and commitment were stronger.  This teacher was nothing short of genius working with males who, without movement, will be undereducated.  This article brings me resoundingly back to those memories, and her successes.

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/03/30/living/no-sitting-still-movement-schools/index.html

Why do we make students sit still in class?

March 31, 2014 -- Updated 0134 GMT (0934 HKT) CNN.com Why do we make students sit still in class?

Editor's note: Carolina Blatt-Gross is an assistant professor of art at Georgia Gwinnett College who studies art, cognition and the socially situated nature of learning. She has a doctorate in art education and 15 years of teaching experience at many levels.

(CNN) -- As a graduate student, I had the opportunity to observe a number of idyllic, progressive classrooms where students danced to the pencil sharpener or sprawled across beanbag chairs while completing their work. I read countless books and articles about research that supports physical activity as part of academic success. It made sense to me -- theoretically -- that children should be allowed to move their bodies. Asking them to do otherwise, I came to believe, could be detrimental to both the student and the teacher.
Then it got personal. I had two children of my own, two fearless boys who are so busy they don't have time to stop for uninteresting activities like eating, sleeping or potty training. Our eldest son lobbed himself out of his crib at 10 months and hasn't stopped climbing since. Putting clothes on our younger son currently involves a high-speed chase followed by a wrestling match and, if we're lucky, ends with at least one piece of clothing partially in place.
Obviously, it takes more than a little mental and physical effort for them to keep their bottoms in a chair.

This doesn't bode well for academic success in traditional classrooms, where sitting quietly is a prerequisite for nearly all instruction. I cringe in anticipation of the notes my sons' constant motion and chatter will prompt future teachers to send home. I worry that their intellectual prosperity will be curtailed by the simple, but daunting, expectation that they sit still for hours each day.

In my household and others, the question looms: Does sitting in any way help students learn? Why do we feel the need to tame students' physical natures, rather than incorporate them into the learning process? By sending our children off to still, quiet classrooms, are we neglecting meaningful, hands-on learning that could be occurring through physical activity?

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After all, the brain is ultimately an essential part of the body, a co-conspirator with those wiggly feet and chatty mouths that get

little ones into trouble. As the late arts educator Elliot Eisner

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/03/30/living/no-sitting-still-movement-schools/index.html

High school meets big business

reminded us, we learn about the world through our senses, drawing information in through our bodies to feed our understanding of the world.
That the mind is nestled within our physicality is not a new concept, but perhaps a nearly forgotten one in our age of cerebral and cyber wealth. Even in the early 20th century, progressive educator John Dewey famously unbolted the desks from the floors of the classroom, arguing that education

stems from experience. More recently, we've seen treadmill desks and bouncy balls substitute for desk chairs.
As an educator with an interest in authentic learning, I wonder if that is enough.
As the mother of super-physical children, I worry that it's not even close to being enough.
The paradigm of the still, quiet classroom with neatly aligned desks unfortunately requires that some students spend a great deal of energy complying with physical restrictions rather than learning. Certainly, at some point, children need to learn to control their bodies. But making it an overriding concern in the classroom might be a waste.
Meanwhile, commitment to recess, art, labs and nearly any type of learning that involves the body is generally dwindling. As an educator and mother, I know that image is fundamentally at odds with the nature of children.
So, educators can either spend a great deal of energy trying to get students to conform to the expectations of quiet focus -- or they can change the expectations.
On my quest to find educational arcadia for my children, I explored the options available in our neighborhood. Just looking around at the schools near my home in Atlanta -- private, charter and public schools that my children could attend -- I found innovative teachers and administrators who don't want students to sit still and work quietly. They're making changes to schools' physically restrictive natures, sometimes for entire buildings, and sometimes just at the classroom level.
It wasn't always obvious, and required me to ask questions and look closely at how classrooms were set up. Here were three educators I found who were finding ways to make movement a part of how their students learn.

Movement is the mission
Just as my concerns about my sons' educational futures began to crescendo, we struck gold. A progressive private school opened mere steps from our front door. Focused on experiential education, a sense of community and child-focused flexibility, Hess Academy has my oldest, wiggliest son flourishing.
According to Kristen Hess, the principal and founder of Hess Academy, movement in the classroom is an extension of student choice.
"As adults we have the option of movement available to us," she told me. "We fidget or doodle, we get up

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to stretch our legs, we walk to the back of the room, but we don't give this option to children."
The best learning environment, she said, has different options, not just a standard solution for all students. I could see her philosophy at work in a classroom where students worked, some sitting at tables, some stretched across the floor and some using their chairs as writing surfaces.
Hess' first foray into education was as a gymnastics instructor and her active nature coalesced with her learning philosophy when she entered graduate school, she said. There, it became clear that "expecting children to disconnect from their bodies isn't natural. We have five senses for a reason."
Hess sees at least three roles for movement in the classroom: It's a way to optimize focus and attention, to release pent-up energy so students can focus on a different activity, and as a vehicle for learning. Taking advantage of just one of these aspects, she explained, is usually insufficient.
"Unfortunately there is a trend of decreasing movement in our daily lives and spending less time outside," Hess said. "We have to counter that in the classroom by giving students time to interact in meaningful ways. All of our teachers believe that movement enhances learning.
"The more you can use your body, the better you can learn concepts."
The school itself has the feel of a beehive. During a recent visit, once class was moving around the school on a scavenger hunt. In another class, students scattered around the room to discuss ideas and create drawings for "Think Out of the Box Thursday," where they transformed a given shape into creative creatures and inventions. The littlest ones conducted an experiment, setting an insect buffet outside their classroom window to see which foods ants would eat.
The activity often extends outdoors. The days typically started and ended on the playground, where all students got a physical outlet to burn off their extra energy before even entering the school. It's an extension of the classroom, a place that marries play and learning.
Recently, when I arrived to pick up my son, I found him scouring the playground to locate and identify insects or collect food for caterpillars and grasshoppers. It wasn't just my child's curiosity at work; it was part of a classroom unit on bugs.
The learning comes home, too: His classroom's tadpoles inspired him to give us nightly tadpole updates and regularly re-enact the birth of a tadpole from its egg by curling up under a blanket and popping out.
Many parents might assume that such freedom of movement means classroom chaos. They might believe their child would never succeed in such a setting, and they might be right: Not all children are suited to this kind of environment and not every teacher is comfortable or capable of managing it.
Truthfully, I would be skeptical had I not witnessed enough classroom settings to see that this approach works -- but only if it is coupled with a clear structure. This is particularly important during transitions. Teachers who embrace this flexibility need the finesse to effectively shift students from less restrictive activity to more organized work. Knowing the students, their limits and strengths is key to understanding what techniques might work best.
Teacher Megan Anderson Angiulo explained that her classroom management techniques varied from year

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http://edition.cnn.com/2014/03/30/living/no-sitting-still-movement-schools/index.html
to year depending on the class. If she wanted to get students' attention during a less-restrictive activity, she gave them a physical prompt, such as "Put your pencils down and put your finger on your nose."
Redirecting their entire bodies -- not just their brains -- effectively moved students in the next direction. With a different class, she might clap a rhythm that students would repeat. With her current group, she laughed, that would set off a clapping frenzy. She'll save the applause technique for another year.
"Ultimately," she said, "you have to trust that they want to learn."

Matching student and teacher
Not all parents have the resources or the desire to send their children to private school. It didn't seem like an obvious option for my family, and I'm still surprised that we were able to make it happen. Fortunately, there are options. Although the freedom of movement might not be an explicit part of every school's curriculum, teachers in all kinds of schools are trying to incorporate movement into their classrooms.
At the International Community School, a public charter school near my home that offers an International Baccalaureate, I found fourth-grade teacher Drew Whitelegg.
He makes a point of allowing a lot of movement among his students. His curriculum is inspired in part by Jonathan Kozol's book "Letters to a Young Teacher," which explains that kids are good at moving and talking a lot -- and yet, institutions are surprised when students struggle to sit still and stay quiet.

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the feet of one student, and then another.

stage," said Whitelegg, who served as a soccer coach before becoming a teacher. In addition, "it sets up disciplinary issues where students are in trouble for nothing other than the need to move."
In the classroom, students moved constantly -- at their own discretion and at the request of the teacher. I saw one student sit in a swivel chair with wheels so she could oscillate rhythmically during the lesson. A soccer ball lingered under

During a math lesson on place value, a group of students lined up in front of the class holding numbers ranging from .001 to 100. Using the soccer ball as a decimal point, Whitelegg asked the class to put the numbers in order. He demonstrated the lack of symmetry on either side of the decimal point by moving the students so their line folded in half.

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http://edition.cnn.com/2014/03/30/living/no-sitting-still-movement-schools/index.html
While movement wasn't part of the entire school's mission, Whitelegg explained that teachers try to match rising students' needs with teachers' strengths. His classroom often winds up with students who need to move.
His classroom can look chaotic compared to others, he said. Recognizing that his colleagues tend to use teaching models that support a quiet classroom, he said that he is more comfortable in a more dynamic environment -- and so are the children that end up in his classroom. He emphasizes the need for students to learn boundaries early in the school year and to build a classroom culture in which students know what to expect.
"As a teacher you try to remember what you were like when you were 9 or 10 years old," he said, "and you start from there."

Controlling the chaos
Finally, I visited our local public school, where you might expect it to be most difficult for teachers to rethink traditional classroom expectations. Unlike private schools that have the liberty to approach education in unconventional ways, public school teachers are beholden to an entirely different set of expectations and standards. Although teachers at the school attested to administrative support for unconventional strategies, it seemed conditional on rising test scores. It is easy to understand why teachers under such scrutiny might avoid taking risks, but some teachers are up to the challenge.
I met Carlita Scarboro, a first grade teacher, at Laurel Ridge Elementary, near Atlanta. Scarboro's classroom is active and lively, full of confident and convivial students.
"Making them sit," she said, "creates problems with behavior."
Scarboro's interest in allowing movement in the classroom originated with her experiences with her own son, who was diagnosed with a mild form of autism. Her experiences volunteering at her son's school and her background in business and event planning informed her "rogue" teaching philosophy: Her classroom, she believes, is a lab.
"I like to take them out for field work," she said.
Getting students involved in activities allows them to better grasp the content they're studying, she said.
"You can reach them on all different levels," Scarboro said. "If they sit there, they zone out and they're not engaged."
In her class, students watched a video on goods and services, then followed it with an activity: Pairs of students wrote scripts and used props to act out the parts of consumer and producer and to portray the laws of supply and demand. I saw how their bodies became part of the learning, with students celebrating vocally and physically when they answered correctly on the group quiz that followed.
Scarboro moved herself, her students and their work around the classroom to keep them on their toes. Students moved from the rug to their tables and to various part of the room to submit papers or deliver the lunch count to the cafeteria.

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http://edition.cnn.com/2014/03/30/living/no-sitting-still-movement-schools/index.html
Allowing movement in the classroom requires a lot of classroom management, Scarboro told me, and despite the motion and noise, it was highly structured. There were clear signals to transition from one activity to another, to quiet down or shift students' attention.
She built in some organization in fun, easy-to-understand ways, too. At the beginning of the year, students were organized into teams and their spots on the carpet were color coded to coordinate with their table and team mascot -- orange tigers, red puppies and green geckos. She said it's important to establish definitive parameters at the beginning of the year and not to change them. Having such "stops" in place allows her to give the students more leeway later on in the school year.
"Kids need to feel like they are part of the action," she said. "It makes a big difference when you feel like part of the process."

Finding the right fit
My family emitted a collective sigh of relief when we found a school that was a perfect fit for our kids and their persistent levels of activity. With a little effort, I believe other families can do the same; it's clear that teachers in all kinds of situations can push the limits of traditional physical restrictions in schools.
In my own curriculum, as a professor, I have built more and more movement into our classroom activities, forsaking the traditional format of lecturing to her students. It's often an uphill battle for students who expect a "sage on the stage," but the benefits have been rewarding. I see fewer students drag themselves to my classes with dread, falling asleep at their desks or noodling around on their cell phones and more students are meaningfully engaged with the content.
For parents like me, who see their children struggling to maintain the still, quiet expectation in school, I encourage seeking out educators and schools that allow opportunities for children to learn through their bodies.
It might mean visiting classrooms, talking to teachers or cornering the parents of older students for guidance. It could be as simple as calling the principal and saying, "Listen, my kid is a mover. Who can handle that best?"

It is not always easy, but it can be done.


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Page 6 of 6 Apr 19, 2014 09:46:22AM MDT 

Have You Sold Your Soul? ~ Mary Goulet

We’ve all heard the expression, “Don’t sell your Soul” and we know better but, we still do it.

Most every single person has sold their Soul for something; money, career, house, investments or a relationship.

Let’s cover a few things regarding this because when we sell our Soul for something or someone we will have to eventually reap the consequences. Always. Period.

Either monetarily, reputation-wise, financially and the ultimate; our self-esteem and dignity – we will reap the consequences......

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

Dreams of Glory ~ Psychology Today

".......Unfortunately, history hasn't been so kind to daydreaming. Freud believed daydreamers were infantile and neurotic. In the 1960s, psychology textbooks warned teachers that students who daydreamed were headed for psychosis. Even today, there is a disproportionate focus among scientists on the costs of daydreaming. In a recent study, two prominent psychologists proclaimed that "a wandering mind is an unhappy mind."

More than 50 years ago, pioneering research led by Yale's Jerome L. Singer established that daydreaming is widespread and a normal aspect of human experience. Singer found that a major swath of society consists of "happy daydreamers"—people who enjoy vivid imagery and fantasy. They use daydreaming for plotting out their future. These daydreamers "simply value and enjoy their private experiences, are willing to risk wasting a certain amount of time on them, but also can apparently use them for effective planning and for self-amusement during periods of monotonous task activity or boredom," Singer reported. He called this "positive-constructive daydreaming".........CLICK HERE TO READ FURTHER....

On suffering: Is it really worth the trouble?

"To believe we control the movement of life is to believe we are driving a bus on which we are merely passengers.  We feel as if we are in control when the bus takes us where we want to go, but when it keeps chugging merrily on its way despite our attempts to turn or stop or slow down, we are incredulous....."   CLICK HERE TO READ MORE....

Report: NSA Knew About Heartbleed Bug for 2 Years and Said Nothing

http://mashable.com/2014/04/11/nsa-heartbleed-report/

"The White House National Security Council Spokesperson Caitlin Hayden also said that neither the NSA nor any other federal agency knew about the Heartbleed bug.

"If the Federal government, including the intelligence community, had discovered this vulnerability prior to last week, it would have been disclosed to the community responsible for OpenSSL," Hayden said in the statement...."

Sibling Rivalry: Finding Your Place in the Family | Anger Management

By AARON KARMIN

Most parents don’t realize that there is a dynamic interaction between siblings to find a place in the family. That is what sibling rivalry is all about. Jan’s mother, Ellen, wonders why her daughter struggles persist. “She has so much potential. Why doesn’t she use it?”...... PARENTS: CLICK HERE FOR INSIGHTFUL ARTICLE ON SIBLINGS

Using the Power of Authenticity to Create Intimacy | World of Psychology / John Amodeo, PhD, MFT

John Amodeo, PhD, MFT, is the author of the book, Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships, which bridges the gap between the quiet depths of spiritual practice and the fierce passion of intimate relationships. His other books include The Authentic Heart and Love & Betrayal. He has been a marriage and family therapist in the San Francisco area for over thirty years, has conducted workshops internationally on relationships and couples therapy, and has appeared on CNN, Donahue, and New Dimensions Radio. For more information, articles, and free videos, visit his website at:www.johnamodeo.com.   ..........CLICK HERE TO READ THIS ARTICLE

What DC Democrats Don’t Get About Populism | The Nation

Weiland speaks the language of the old-time populists. He says, “I was born here. I grew up on this land. It was ours because our democracy kept it that way. Today our democracy is being bought by big money and turned against us. To feed their profits we lose our jobs, our homes and our farms, our kids’ education, even our health, and the Congress they have bought looks the other way, or worse.”......CLICK HERE TO READ MORE OF ARTICLE

As Jordanian Women Leave the Home, Sexual Harassment Reaches Unprecedented Levels - Elizabeth Whitman / The Nation

".....The driver “started talking about the weather, saying, ‘It’s really cold out today.’ I thought it was a nice day, and I said, ‘No, it’s nice.’ He said, ‘Yes, especially when there’s snow. Do you like snow? Do you play with snow?’.....”

Miriam, who is in her mid-20s, replied that, no, she did not like snow.

“Then he said, ‘I have female friends that…tell me when they play with snow and feel the snow against their bodies, it’s an amazing feeling.’” Miriam was certain by now that something was quite wrong, and she worried the driver might try to touch her. But when she looked over, his hand was inside his pants, moving.

The driver continued talking about snow until she convinced him to let her out. “That day, I didn’t want to see any man,” she says. “I wished I worked with only women.”

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

3 Therapy Exercises to Help Couples Connect | World of Psychology

By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S. Associate Editor

“Intimacy is not easy,” Rastogi said. Any of these exercises can trigger complex reactions. That’s why she suggested seeking counseling, which is especially important if your relationship is in distress. "       CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

The Grain That Damages The Human Brain ~ GreenMedInfo.com

With increasing recognition among medical professionals and the lay public alike that the health of gut and brain are intimately connected (i.e. the 'gut-brain' axis), the concept that gluten-containing grains can damage the human brain is beginning to be taken more seriously.  

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

A ban on bossy — and the bias beneath - Denver Post

http://www.denverpost.com/opinion/ci_25394216/ban-bossy-mdash-and-bias-beneath#

"Bossy" is a word that undermines the ability of confident girls to reach their full potential as leaders.

The Facebook COO has launched a campaign with the help of Beyoncé, Jane Lynch, Condoleezza Rice, and Girls Scouts CEO Anna Maria Chávez to help us think twice about the "other b-word" and the biases beneath it.

Read more: A ban on bossy — and the bias beneath - The Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/opinion/ci_25394216/ban-bossy-mdash-and-bias-beneath#ixzz2wnnlwniR
Read The Denver Post's Terms of Use of its content: http://www.denverpost.com/termsofuse Follow us: @Denverpost on Twitter | Denverpost on FacebookA ban on bossy — and the bias beneath

Ban Bossy. Encourage Girls to Lead!!! This is a national movement!

When a little boy asserts himself, he's called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. Together we can encourage girls to lead.      CLICK HERE AND PARTICIPATE!

Emotional Trauma: An Often Overlooked Root of Addiction | Addiction Recovery from Psych Central

David Sack, M.D., is board certified in addiction psychiatry and addiction medicine. As CEO of Elements Behavioral Health he oversees addiction treatment programs such as Promises Treatment Centers, The Ranch, The Recovery Place, and The Sexual Recovery Institute.    CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

VIDEO: "Outsourcing: The Bad and the Ugly"

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Bareback Grandpa? Baby Boomers Gone Wild! Seniors and STDs....

Robert Weiss, LCSW, CSAT-S

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is Senior Vice President of Clinical Development with Elements Behavioral Health. He has developed clinical programs for The Ranch in Nunnelly, Tennessee, Promises Treatment Centers in Malibu, andThe Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles.A licensed UCLA MSW graduate and personal trainee of Dr. Patrick Carnes, Mr. Weiss is author of Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men,and co-author with Dr. Jennifer Schneider of both Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn, and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age and the just released, Closer Together, Further Apart: The Effect of Technology and the Internet on Parenting, Work, and Relationships, along with numerous peer-reviewed articles and chapters. An author and subject expert on the relationship between digital technology and human sexuality, Mr. Weiss has served as a media specialist for CNN, The Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among many others. He has also provided clinical multi-addiction training and behavioral health program development for the US military and treatment centers throughout the United States, Europe, and Asia.

"Bareback Grandpa?

According to the Center for Disease Control, among our senior citizen population sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are spreading like wildfire. Since 2007, incidence of syphilis among seniors is up by 52 percent, with chlamydia up 32 percent. And this isn’t merely a phenomenon in the United States, as several recent British studies have produced similar results. So apparently the hippy generation has decided to dust off its slightly musty mantra: If it feels good, do it"..........CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Some 70-Something Women Having ‘Best Sex Ever’? Really? (Yes.)

February 14, 2014 | 11:55 AM | Dr. Aline Zoldbrod

Some 70-Something Women Having ‘Best Sex Ever’? Really? (Yes.)

A vintage Fisher Price “grandmother lady.” (Jennie Ivins/Flickr Creative Commons)

By Dr. Aline Zoldbrod
Guest contributor

Imagine you’re a stereotypical “old lady,” with a lined face and gray hair, walking down the street. Some young guy looks at you and thinks, “How ya doing, grandma, you old coot? Are you wearing your Depends?” Actually, no, you think, you’re wearing nice underwear because you’re going to meet your beloved to see a movie, then go home and have some really delicious sex, replete with leisurely foreplay and plenty of laughter. You pass a juicy 38-year-old walking down the street with her two little kids in tow, and think, “Poor dear. She won’t have really good sex again for a good 20 years.”

This is not tabloid fantasy: “Sexually Active Septuagenarian!” It is possible. Not for everyone — but for a substantial minority, perhaps a fifth of women or more. And I’ll tell you why, based on research and my experience as a sex and couples therapist — but first, what gives? Why are we suddenly talking about this squirmy topic?

It’s because author Iris Krasnow has a new book out, “Sex After…,” subtitled “Women Share How Intimacy Changes As Life Changes.” And it includes women in their 70s and beyond who are having a glorious time, sexually. Some have partners; others have just discovered the joys of solo sex; some are having their first orgasms ever, thank to vibrators and toys now available for anyone to order online.

People have an ‘ick’ reaction to thinking that their parents are being sexual, let alone their grandparents.

Krasnow writes about the 77-year-old who “was inspired to try fellatio for the first time after watching a how-to video on YouTube.” And she shares the story of another woman in her 70s, a recent widow, who met up with a male friend she had not seen for 54 years and who went to bed with him on the first date, staying in bed having sex with him for five hours.

I’m thinking that this book excerpt is going to blow a lot of people’s minds. Even the “Granny Porn” websites have women who are ages 40 to 50. Women in their 70s?? Most of what you’ll find if you look up “sex over fifty” online talks about frail vaginal tissue, lack of lubrication and flagging erections. Those accounts are accurate but psychologically conservative.

In contrast, the denizens of Krasnow’s research don’t talk about any of the physical barriers to erotic pleasures. This is a group of women who are sexual explorers, women who want to have as much sexual pleasure as they can. They are what psychologist Dr. Abraham Maslow would probably call “sexually self-actualized.”

Krasnow’s findings, while based on a very small sample of older women, actually fit with academic research on the sex lives of older people. Surveys repeatedly find that there is a cohort of men and women, ranging in age from their 60s to their 80s and above, who are having active, enjoyable, single or partnered sex lives. They tend to be healthy and active people, and their attitude about what it is to have a sexual relationship and to be a sexual human being has flexed with age, so that standards are less perfectionistic and performance driven, and the physical changes of aging can be taken in stride.

There is a cultural stigma associated with talking about the sex lives of the elderly. People have an “ick” reaction to thinking that their parents are being sexual, let alone their grandparents. But times have changed. The same cultural movements that have given greater permission for sex outside of marriage, beliefs about what kinds of sexual and relational experimentation are acceptable, and trends such as gay rights have affected sexual attitudes in the older age cohorts.

Even the groups of people older than the baby boomers have been affected by the liberalization of society. So while the oldest baby boomers are about 68, the cohort a decade older has seemingly embraced a geriatric sexual revolution as well.

Doing The Math

Just a few statistics:

• The National Social Life, Health and Aging Project (NSHAP) interviewed a nationally representative group of 3,005 individuals between the ages of 57 and 85 in 2005-6. Almost 84 percent of men and 62 percent of women ages 57-64 engaged in sexual activity over the past year. It is true that as the next decade approached, and the one after that, sexual activity diminished. But it by no means went down to a point where people in their 70s and 80s had no sex.

• In 2009, AARP did a survey on sexual satisfaction in midlife and older adults. In answering the question, “How satisfied are you with your sex life?,” among men 60-69 years of age, 13 percent answered extremely satisfied, and 39 percent answered “somewhat satisfied.” Among men age 70+, 5 percent answered “extremely satisfied”, and 21 percent answered “somewhat satisfied.”

• But check out the statistics for women. Among those age 60-69, 18 percent answered extremely satisfied and 23 percent answered somewhat satisfied. But among women aged 70 and up, 17 percent still answered “extremely satisfied,” with another 10 percent saying “somewhat satisfied.”

A few perfectly understandable correlations exist. Health problems and sexual problems tend to go together. And relationship status and relationship quality are important for predicting psychological health and sexual satisfaction. The research is too complicated to summarize in a few sentences, but suffice it to say, Krasnow is not reporting on older women who are out on the teensy, tiny tip of the standard bell curve. We’re not talking about .05 percent of 70-year-old women enjoying sex. We might be talking about roughly a fifth of 70-year-old women.

Breaking Stereotypes

That doesn’t exactly fit the popular images of “over the hill” women as sexually uninterested and uninteresting.

Once past menopause, most straight women who would like to be noticed by men realize that we are invisible. One of my dear friends in her 60s, who has an amazing body from more than four decades of being an athlete, talks about walking down the street in her Southern home town wearing a classy blouse and a slim skirt and bright red lipstick. She reports that guys follow her with their eyes, but as they get closer and see the lines on her face, she sees the disappointment on theirs.

But it looks like if you’re lucky in your 70s and beyond, with more leisure and more time to socialize, someone your age or older (or younger) might still find you interesting, psychologically and sexually.

Dr. Aline Zoldbrod (Courtesy)

Maybe older hetero men are wising up about the joys of older hetero women. I learned a long, long time ago, as a sex therapist, that you cannot tell anything about how a given woman feels about sex — that is, whether she knows its joy — by looking at her. I work with many women who look sexy by societal standards — young, thin, fit, perky breasts, unlined faces — and who come to me because they do not like sex one bit.

After Viagra came out and was such a success for men, Pfizer was doing research to see if it could be marketed to women who were having arousal difficulties. Through The Lahey Center for Sexual Function in Peabody, I was involved in that research. My job was to interview women who were having arousal difficulties and were unhappy about it. They were to be given Viagra to see if it could help. So I had the privilege of interviewing women in their 50s and 60s who loved sex and who were upset by a diminishment in their feelings of arousal.

These were mostly just ordinary-looking 50- and 60-year-old women, the kind of women who actually walk around in the world, shopping at supermarkets and going to the post office. Not “older women” like Susan Sarandon (age 67) or Jane Fonda (age 76).

They did not look sexy to the outside world. But there they they were in my office, giving very specific responses to my research questions, talking with such sadness and passion about the loss of the sexual sensations they had loved. About their sexuality, which was such a treasured part of themselves. They talked about loss of lubrication, about the loss of the pleasant buzzing and warm sensations that were the hallmark of becoming aroused for them. They told me that when they talked to their gynecologists, they were just told that this was a part of aging and it could not be helped. But they loved sex, and what they had lost in terms of their physical functioning was devastating to them.

These women have incorporated most of the suggestions that sex therapists give to people about how to make their sex lives better.

The external, male, heterosexual world’s assessment of who is “sexy” is based on whether that particular man would like to have intercourse with that particular woman. I suspect that this can be true in the medical system, at times; male physicians doing an exam may not explore whether a woman whom they personally do not find sexually attractive needs help functioning better sexually. So older women whose questions about sexual functioning get short shrift might consider changing physicians.

Krasnow’s Older Sexpots

Some of us will find Krasnow’s stories inspirational. Some will find them preposterous and annoying. As a sex therapist, these stories tickle me, but they don’t surprise me. When I read Krasnow’s accounts, they made perfect sense. These women have incorporated most of the suggestions that sex therapists give to people about how to make their sex lives better.

If you cruise around online, most of what’s written on “sex over fifty” is a very male model, focusing on penis-in-vagina sex and then going on to talk about how the penises in question aren’t as firm as they used to be, and the vaginas are getting a tad dry. (One of my older friends described attempts at intercourse as “trying to shoot pool with a noodle.”)

There are several reasons why sex is working for Krasnow’s older women. When the women described are having partnered sex within committed relationships with their equally older partners, they are describing sex that is the model for the kind of sex women enjoy. There is a large component of interpersonal connection and romance between the partners. The women feel valued emotionally and sexually and feel comfortable in their own bodies and with their own sexuality. They give themselves permission to be fully sexual. You may have read the old Erica Jong book, “Fear of Flying,” and may recall how the protagonist used to prepare for sex by bathing and anointing herself with various oils. One of Krasnow’s women talks about scheduling sex with her partner, putting on a wonderful nightgown in which she feels sexy, and throwing in as many toys as she can to keep things hot.

The lack of time pressure is paramount. None of these women is talking about the difficulty of fitting sex in between scheduled times of taking care of of other people — for example, one, two or three grandchildren. Sex is pretty high on the top of their list of things they want to do.

The stress in life has vanished. Neither partner in the relationship is consumed with the pressures of earning a living, dealing with relatives, or taking care of their own, aging parents.

They have broken through the societal rules that prohibit focus on pleasure and play and taking time for oneself. There is always enough time.

These women talk about feeling such joy in touch, and in connection. They have lots of leisure and are having a lot of what I call “belly” time, face to face interactions where the partners focus on each other. The couples are taking their time, spending hours in bed kissing and hugging and enjoying whole-body touch, rather than practicing what I call “homing pigeon foreplay,” where the pre-intercourse touching is not long in duration and focused mainly on the primary erotic zones.

The kind of sexual touching described in these committed couples seems to be less pressured; instead it is tender: intimate, loving, warmhearted, sympathetic, touched, kind, soft. There is ecstasy in getting long periods of this kind of touch. Both bodies are relaxed, melting into each other. Each good sexual interlude creates the desire to have another one.

Hormonal Reality

Just to end by coming back down to earth a bit: The book excerpt does not discuss an important physiological element. This is a group of older women who were committed to keeping their bodies primed for sex. For those older women whose sexuality included intercourse, I assume they had very supportive and engaged gynecologic physicians who helped them keep their vaginal tissues young through hormones. These are locally applied — not systemic — hormones, but they can carry risks and remain somewhat controversial. USA Today offers a helpful look at the range of therapeutic options for post-menopausal sexual problems here.

Mainly, if you’re an older woman reading this now, and you are having pain with intercourse that you would like to address medically, you might want to speak with your gynecologist about it. If you want a second opinion, I’d recommend physicians who are members of the North American Menopause Society or the International Society For the Study of Women’s Sexual Health.

The women Iris Krasnow describes are not the majority, but they are not myths either. You may — if you choose, and if physical and emotional reality allow it — be one of them.

Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., is a Boston-based sex therapist and the author of “SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It.” You can find her at SexSmart.com  Some 70-Something Women Having ‘Best Sex Ever’? Really? (Yes.)

Senior Sex: 5 Health Reasons to Keep Having It | Senior Planet

At 60, 70, even 85 years of age, seniors can enjoy an active sex life. The benefits far outweigh any possible negative effects. As long as you’re using protection, you can safely engage in sexual activity. With a partner or self-pleasuring, having sex can improve the quality of your life.

So, what’s stopping you? ...... CLICK HERE TO READ GOOD STUFF!!

Federal Budget Deficit Falls to Smallest Level Since 2008 - New York Times

“Thanks to the tenacity of the American people and the determination of the private sector we are moving in the right direction,” Treasury Secretary Jacob J. Lew said in the report. “The United States has recovered faster than any other advanced economy, and our deficit today is less than half of what it was when President Obama first took office.” ~ Jacob Lew, Treasury Secretary

CLICK HERE TO READ!

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/28/business/economy/federal-deficit-falls-to-smallest-level-since-2008.html?_r=0

Watch (Official Trailer) of "THRIVE: What On Earth Will It Take?"

WATCH FULL MOVIE ON YOU TUBE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEV5AFFcZ-s

"Fatherhood Adventures" - Michael Gurian - One of the leading Authorities on "Being Male"

What Could He Be Thinking?: How a Man's Mind Really Works

This is the essential primer for wives, mothers, daughters, and sisters of our men, in my view.


CLICK HERE TO READ!! "What Could He Be Thinking?: How a Man's Mind Really Works"

Michael Gurian says boys need societal nurturing, too! - USATODAY.com

While this article is a few years old, the statistics regarding the education of our boys, soon to be men, have dropped even more significantly.  Thus, this article is even more relevant.  It is my privilege to know moms who understand that, and still remain a "protector" of their male child.  That protection often requires sacrifice (even more, yes) from these moms..............

CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT OUR MALE CHILDREN!

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/education/2009-04-08-gurian-boys_N.htm