Decoding Excuses for Abuse | David Adams

"Ray Rice essentially said that "Alcohol made me do it." Before they have taken responsibility and committed themselves to real change, most abusers make excuses for their violence. "Alcohol made me do it," is one of them, and is no less of an excuse than "She provoked me," or "I lost control," or "I was under a lot of stress." But based on my survey of people who attend an abuser intervention program, most were not intoxicated when they hit, grabbed, or kicked their intimate partner...." CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Abuse in Later Life (NCALL)

National Clearinghouse on Abuse in Later Life (NCALL)
A Project of Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence
307 S. Paterson St., Suite 1, Madison, Wisconsin 53703-3517
Phone: 608-255-0539 • Fax/TTY: 608-255-3560 • www.ncall.us • www.wcadv.org

Abuse in Later Life Wheel

In 2006, NCALL adapted the Power and Control Wheel, developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, Duluth, MN.
Resource updated, April 2011.Tactics Used by Abusers
During 2005, NCALL staff asked facilitators of older abused women’s support groups to have participants review the Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project’s Power and Control Wheel. Over 50 survivors from eight states responded. NCALL created this Abuse in Later Life Wheel from their input.
In addition to the tactics on the wheel, many offenders justify or minimize the abuse and deny that they are abusive. Perpetrators of abuse in later life may make comments like “she’s just too difficult to care for” or “he abused me as a child” to blame the victim, or try to minimize the abuse by stating the victim bruises easily or injuries are the incidental result of providing care. The list below provides additional examples of some of the behaviors victims might experience under each tactic included on the wheel.


Denies Access to Spiritual & Traditional 
Events
 Refuses transportation or access
 Destroys spiritual or traditional items of
importance

Ridicules Personal and Cultural Values
 Disrespectful of cultural practices
 Ignores values when making decisions

Uses Family Members
 Misleads family members regarding
condition of elder
 Excludes or denies access to family; Isolates
 Controls what elder does, who they see
and what they do
 Denies access to phone or mail

Physical Abuse
 Hits, chokes, burns, pinches, throws
things
 Restrains elder to chair or bed

Sexual Abuse
 Sexually harms during care giving
 Forces sex acts
 Forces elder to watch pornography

Psychological Abuse
 Engages in crazy-making behavior
 Publicly humiliates

Emotional Abuse
 Yells, insults, calls names
 Degrades, blames

Targets Vulnerabilities and Neglects
 Takes or denies access to items needed for
daily living
 Refuses transportation
 Denies food, heat, care, or medication
 Does not follow medical
recommendations
 Refuses to dress or dresses
inappropriately


Uses Privilege 
 Speaks for elder at financial and medical
appointments
 Makes all major decisions
Financial Exploits
 Steals money, titles, or possessions
 Abuses a power of attorney or
guardianship

Threatens

 Threatens to leave or commit suicide
 Threatens to institutionalize
 Abuses or kills pet or prized livestock
 Displays or threatens with weapons