Good morning! I want to express my thanks to my readers, and even more, for your input. As you may have surmised, narcissism is unfortunately becoming more and more "mainstream" in this culture. While we know that everyone has to have some healthy narcissism, or one could not even effectively and confidently apply for a position, there is an abundance of malignant narcissism today. Theorists posit that our culture is now largely narcissistic. Their contentions are logical, and I happen to agree based on the criteria they present.
Mostly evident in males, and with greater and greater appearance in mid and late teens (even though technically it cannot be diagnosed until 18), many readers are concerned that this disorder is becoming the "new normal". No studies regarding narcissism disprove that belief. However, I leave you all to your own research.
What is more important is that we all learn how to recognize this condition, because while it initially may present in a person as a thoroughly desirable personality, it is one in which the individual is extremely cunning, cruel, and exploitative. While they can appear completely repentant as life with that person rolls along, the fact is that it is always about them. If they appear to be devoted to your wishes, it is because that facade is designed to get them what they want. Thus, it is still, and always, about them.
You readers have suggested some readings about the Stockholm Syndrome, almost always suffered by spouses and children of the narcissist. This is appreciated input. Yet that leaves me with an ambivalence. Ambivalence as to whether I "go with the flow" of my readers, in this particular case. I do not, in any case, wish to be a blog solely about narcissism. However, I am deeply convinced that most people "cannot see it coming", i.e. it is a complex personality disorder.
That leads to the danger of centering on narcissists, and their incredibly toxic presence in anyone's life. (Their ultimate dream scenario!) Yet, more information all around this personality certainly cannot hurt. We all have some of these traits, or we would not even begin to successfully apply for a job, or confidently give presentations in our field. However, there is a line in the sand where narcissistic people cross over into the realm where they are absolutely "dangerous to your health". If one adds to that diagnosis traits of sadism, the damage to those people (spouses, friends, children) around the narcissist may be extreme. One might compare it to swimming in a peaceful, but putrescent pool.
So, bear with me readers. I will post articles I hope will give some depth to more understanding of this toxic and dangerously virulent disorder.
I hope all of you are enjoying the last throes of pre-holiday celebration. Breathe, relax and enjoy. Gratitude is in order!
Madelaine
