"Interconnection"

These days, you'd have to be asleep or dead not to notice the chaos in this world.  It affects every level, every group, every place in the world. As a retired therapist, I was trained to observe anything/anyone acutely. And, since I came from a medical family (attorney, nurses, doctor, just to name a couple) I grew up with that model of acute observation.  Sometimes, it is actually nerve-racking and intense. But, it also leads to loving people.

How? Well, the man on the train who seems really cranky to others? Observation teaches me another lesson.  I notice that he has  several large vicious and visible scars on his face and neck, and shoes where one toe is cut out to reveal he has none inside. just stubs.

I see a toddler girl gazing up at him for a long time with no judgement....just interest.....observation. I wonder what she is thinking as her peaceful little face takes him in. He gazes back at her and smiles at her kindly. It seemed to me to be a powerful moment of humanity. All of a sudden her mother jerked her around and said somewhat harshly, "Don't look at him. Stop. He's dirty." The little girl looked up at her in a really puzzled way, and her little eyebrows tightly furrowed. I would be projecting if I filled in the blanks of what I thought, or what I thought she was thinking.

But something happened that I have never forgotten ...not ever. I noticed there were some tears on the little girl's cheeks, as she gazed quietly at her shoes. I wndered if in her mind's eye she was thinking of the comparison between her shiny T-straps and his, cut with something that hurt. "Mom, I think he's sad we won't look at him."  My own eyes filled with tears, for a number of other reasons connected with these human beings. As I looked at the man, his face was slightly turned away, but not so far that I could not see tears on his own leathered cheeks. But she, too, had seen that in a quick furtive glance back. She then glanced up at me. with a mixed expression....mixed with "did you see him?' Mixed with "can you do something?" Mixed with "wish I could ask him some questions". And then her shoulders slumped down in childhood acquiescence to her mom's order.

I was thinking of how he got those brutal scars ... delivered by another person?  A car accident? By a relative? By a fall? Looks like he had had a lot of pain....

Being in a train, on that very morning, and in that very place, we three almost silently commingled.......silently.....connected.....as human beings. I was so grateful that I had been in that place. Teens today use the term, 'my brain exploded'. And mine did indeed do that.  So much humanity and human caring in that ...one ...little ... minute.

That small happening took place decades ago, and I can see it as acutely as if it was happening this minute. I have hundreds of vignettes penetrating ... piercing.  Yet all make me wonder about the occasions when people assert, "Well, maybe this is heaven...."When that is said, all giggle a bit, as if to say, "No way!"

For me, it wasn't so silly .... I wondered....... and wondered...... and wondered.