Personality Disorders in the Paranoid-Narcissistic Spectrum

by Dr. T. O'Connor, Dept of Justice Studies, NC Wesleyan College 

---

There are ten different personality disorders, and in this lecture, the spectrum approach is followed which allows for mixed types, and it should be noted the spectrum approach is controversial and not the way most clinical psychologists are trained. The spectrum approach to classification transcends the DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual) method, and is essentially a heuristic approach designed for theory development, not validation. No single set of symptoms are required for inclusion in a spectrum. Rather, the sameness or similarity of comorbidity characteristics and the underlying causal processes are looked at. Spectra can be constructed that link Axis I and Axis II disorders, psychotic disorders and personality disorders, affective disorders and sexual disorders, and so on. In most cases, the subject's personality has not disintegrated to the point where there is any one identifiable clinical syndrome. A spectrum disorder may exist in muted form or as a mirror-image of a diagnosed or undiagnosed mental illness. We are concerned in this lecture with personality types that primarily exhibit the common characteristic of aggression.

Paranoia occurs in two forms: (1) the "bad me" paranoid; and (2) the "poor me" paranoid. Paranoia affects .5 to 2.5% of the population. The "bad me" type tends to be more rageful and sadistic than the other type. Paranoia in all its forms tends to be organized around aggression, from sadomasochistic violence to lingering hostile mood. Paranoia is an insidious disease which develops slowly as a secondary personality characteristic, fuses into a more or less dysfunctional coping style, and may or may not become the dominant pattern. Psychologists suspect that the cause of paranoia is found in the mothering experience, in particular, the breast-feeding experience. Successfully breast-fed infants develop the capacity to feel supported and a tolerance for frustration. Unsuccessfully breast-fed infants (those who viewed the experience as "bad" in some way) develop a distinct inability to experience self-satisfaction, tolerance, and positive relationships. Internalization of the bad experience leads to the initiation of provocative and confirmatory interactions with others, mostly through splitting (seeing things as black-white, good-bad, weak-strong) and projection (accusing others of having the disowned aspects of your self). A full-blown "bad me" paranoid perceives threats in everything other people do, often exploding in manic, counterphobic episodes. A full-blown "poor me" type views the world as basically unfair and persecutory, countering their anticipation of discomfort with either antisocial behavior or grandiosity.

Delusions: One the cardinal symptoms of paranoia and other disorders, most notably schizophrenia. Delusions are faulty interpretation of reality that cannot be shaken despite clear evidence to the contrary. Delusions can be classified as:

* Bizarre -- belief that others can hear your thoughts, others are inserting thoughts, or your thoughts, feelings, and impulses are controlled by an external force
* Referential -- belief that certain gestures, comments, song lyrics, or passages in printed material are specifically intended for you or reference you in some way
* Grandiose -- belief that you are an extremely important person, an invaluable member of society, and possess or make some special unrecognized talent or contribution
* Persecution -- belief that others are out to get you, are plotting against you, foiling your every move, or making you feel guilty or ashamed
* Bodily -- belief in some kind of undiagnosed deteriorative medical condition such as dissolving of spinal cord, rotting or deterioration of skin, organs, or brain
* Religious -- belief that you are an important religious figure, in contact with deities, or serving some special theological purpose in the world.

Narcissism is a somewhat less severe form of psychopathy.

It manifests aggressive, paranoid, and borderline characteristics, but more commonly appears in the form of envy, greed, power lust, an extensively rationalized sense of entitlement, and a pathological grandiose self. Unlike psychopaths, narcissists can experience loyalty and guilt; but like psychopaths, narcissists lack empathy or caring for others, viewing people as "playthings" to be used. Female narcissists tend to be the kind that "sleep" their way to the top; male narcissists tend to get ahead by becoming involved in massive power struggles. Psychologists suspect that the cause of narcissism is severe mental or physical pain in childhood at the hands of a powerful, idealized mother-father figure. Inconsistent parental attitudes on aggression and self-assertion as well as childhood experiences of being valued for specific, precocious talents seem to be the prime determinants. They never learned who to identify with -- the aggressor or victim, and they developed a pragmatic philosophy of siding with winners, regardless of who was in the right or wrong. In fact, they believe that the "good" is usually changeable and fickle while "bad" is stable and predictable. They live life by idealizing those who satisfy their narcissistic needs and systematically devaluing and denigrating those who do not. Underneath their superficial charm, they feel they have a right to control, manipulate, exploit, and be cruel to others.

Narcissism is a relative newcomer to the list of mental disorders. It was not fully defined until the late 80s. There's not much research proving narcissists are more prone to violence than any other group, and no one has a clue as to how widespread this particular personality disorder is - estimates range between 3 and 15% of the population, with 5-7% being a fair estimate. Being a narcissist is close to being an alcoholic but MUCH more so. Alcoholism is impulsive behavior. Narcissists have this plus hundreds of other problems. Narcissists frequently have uncontrollable behaviors, like rage which is an outcome of their grandiosity. Narcissists can rarely be cured, but side effects, associated disorders (such as OCD), pathological lying, and the paranoiac dimensions CAN be modified.

ANGER, WORRY, RAGE

Most Personality Disordered people are prone to anger. Their bottled-up anger is always sudden, raging, frightening and without apparent provocation by an outside agent. It would seem that people suffering from personality disorders are in a CONSTANT state of anger, which is effectively suppressed most of the time. It manifests itself only when the person's defenses are down, incapacitated, or adversely affected by circumstances, inner or external. In a nutshell, such people were usually unable to express anger at "forbidden" targets in their early, formative years (parents, in most cases). The anger, however, was a justified reaction to very real abuse or mistreatment. The patient was, therefore, left to nurture a sense of profound injustice and frustrated rage. Healthy people experience anger, but as a transitory state. Personality disordered anger is always acute and permanently present. Healthy anger has an external inducing agent (a reason), and is directed at another (coherence). Pathological anger is neither coherent, nor externally induced. It emanates from the inside and is diffuse, directed at the "world" or "injustice" in general.

The Personality Disordered are afraid to show that they are angry to meaningful others because they are afraid to lose them. The Borderline Personality Disordered is terrified of being abandoned, the Narcissist needs his Narcissistic supply sources, the Paranoid ? his persecutors and so on. These people prefer to direct their anger at people who are meaningless to them, people whose withdrawal will not constitute a threat to their precariously balanced personality. They will yell at a waitress, shout at a taxi driver, or explode at an underling. Alternatively, they will sulk, feel bored, drink or do drugs ? all forms of self-directed aggression. From time to time, no longer able to pretend and to suppress, they will have it out with the real source of their anger. They will rage and, generally, behave like lunatics. They will shout incoherently, make absurd accusations, distort facts, pronounceallegations and suspicions. These episodes will be followed by periods of sentimental sweetness and excessive flattering and submissiveness towards the victim of the latest rage attack. Motivated by the mortal fear of being abandoned or ignored, the Personality Disordered will debase and demean himself to the point of provoking repulsion in the beholder. These pendulum-like emotional swings are common. Anger is the reaction to injustice (perceived injustice, it does not have to be real), to disagreements, to inconvenience.

Hostile expressions by the Personality Disordered are not constructive ? they are destructive because they are diffuse, excessive, and unclear. They do not lash out at people in order to restore self-esteem, prestige, or a sense of power and control, but because they cannot help it and are in a self destructive and self-loathing mode. Their angry episodes contain few signals or warning signs. Their anger is primitive, maladaptive, and pent up.

The Personality Disordered also suffer from a cognitive deficit. They are unable to conceptualize, to design effective strategies and to execute them. They dedicate all their attention to the immediate and ignore the future consequences of their actions. In other words, their attention and information processing faculties are distorted, skewed in favor of the here and now, biased on both the intake and the output. Time is dilated for them ? the present feels more protracted, "longer" than any future. Immediate facts and actions are judged more relevant and weighted more heavily than any remote aversive conditions. Anger impairs cognition. The angry person is a worried person.

The Personality Disordered is also excessively preoccupied with himself (solipsism). Worry and anger are the cornerstones of anxiety. The striking similarity between anger and personality disorders is the deterioration of the faculty of empathy. Angry people cannot empathize. Actually, "counter-empathy" develops. Recent provocative acts by others are judged to be more serious ? just by "virtue" of their chronological position. This is what distinguishes rage from anger. Rage attacks in personality disorders are always incommensurate with the magnitude of the source. Anger is usually a reaction to an ACCUMULATION of aversive experiences, all enhancing each other in vicious feedback loops, many of them not directly related to the cause of the specific anger. The angry person may be reacting to stress, agitation, disturbance, drugs, violence or aggression witnessed by him, to social or to national conflict, to elation and even to sexual excitation.

EVIL, DESTRUCTIVENESS, ADDICTION

The psychopathic argument with reality that is present in all personality disorders is a narcissistic pleasure of lying and deception. They don't lie to everybody, only those people (good-bad, strong-weak, females, strangers, authority figures) that they have differentiated as worthwhile or not. Each dichotomous split and pattern of lying is indicative of a different personality disorder, but the most common pattern is a desire to dupe or deceive those perceived as "good" people, to rob them of their "goodness", as it were, and to further deprive them of any moral right to feel victimized. Identification is always with the aggressor or with evil -- as powerful, bad, and ideal. In many cases, there are fantasies or interests about animal predators or archetypal evil demigods.

An inverted conscience means that the superego idealizes evil. Things that would normally produce guilt, insecurity, and anticipation of punishment in ordinary people produce feelings of self-esteem, security, and self-cohesion in the personality disordered. They only experience a sense of being true to their real self when they are persecuting others, inducing pain and suffering, and further experiencing feedback about how much malicious destruction they have done. Full-blown psychopaths have the highest degree of inverted conscience, and sadists have the highest degree of need for feedback.

However, it's extremely rare to find a perfectly intact inverted conscience. Most of the personality disordered live with fragments of a normal superego. These guilt fragments are expressed in occasional self-defeating behaviors. Their self-destructiveness will probably never take the form of suicide or any devaluing of the importance of winning through aggression, but they may change their split between strong-weak attributions, present themselves for therapy, or seek out religious mysticism. More frequently, however, when confronted with a self-crisis, they will adopt new names (aliases) for themselves, thus making themselves their own parents.

Drugs and alcohol are used to repair their personalities especially when there is a problematic representation of self to others. The personality disordered are commonly addicted persons because the "cycle of addiction" perpetuates the extreme self-state needed to shore up their self-cohesion while at the same time undermining any adaptive integration of self with experience. All addicted persons experience cycles of self-state extremes. One of the extreme self-states will be the dominant organizer of experience. An alcohol-induced self-state, for example, will assist in lowering inhibitions and facilitating aggressive tendencies. A psychoactive drug-induced self-state may assist in fostering paranoid delusions. The most serious and sadistic crimes committed by such individuals will be when they are at the peak of their dominant extreme self-state. This means that they commit crime while intoxicated or shortly thereafter. Since they only "need" to drink or drug when there is a need for personality repair, it's unclear if they have a substance addition, a violence addiction, or a state of mind addiction.

PERSONALITY DISORDERS IN THIS SPECTRUM
Aggressive Style:
PARANOID: Provocative, pre-emptive attack
Superego Development: Defective
Conscience: Retributive, vindicates self
Destructiveness: Vengeful
NARCISSISTIC: Denigrating, demeaning to others
Superego: Immature
Conscience: Normal with Delusions
Destructiveness: Interpersonal Exploitation
ANTISOCIAL: Rebellious, contemptible
Superego: Deviant
Conscience: Distorted
Destructiveness: Interpersonal and Expressive crime
PSYCHOPATHIC: Malicious, Predatory
Superego: Perverse
Conscience: Inverted
Destructiveness: Strategic Conquest and Domination
SADISTIC: Sadism
Superego: Defective and Perverse
Conscience: Inverted
Superego Development: Defective and Perverse
Destructiveness: Proloinged Anguish and Suffering

THE LEARNING THEORY OF SERIAL MURDER

As an alternative to the idea that serial killers are driven by "fantasy", at least one criminologist (Hale) has proposed that they are driven by humiliation or embarrassment. They perceive the world as full of "attacks" or "challenges" that cannot go unanswered. This acute need to reassert power is drawn from early childhood experiences where the offender felt powerless to control events. This need, combined with an arrested social development which includes problems at demonstrating mastery and at social comparison, results in the use of a victim as an audience to "set things right." In this view, serial killers are seeking approval from their victims.

Like all people, even the personality disordered are motivated to seek the approval of others. For various reasons, however, they experience feelings of frustration at finding ways to conceptualize how they would go about obtaining this approval from others. They actually anticipate failure without even trying. This is because they perceive the original person who humiliated them as superior or more "powerful" than they are. They then seek out vulnerable and less threatening persons as victims, who become scapegoats for the person who initially thwarted their needs for approval.

The diagnosis of "malignant narcissism" may be more apt for serial killers than "antisocial personality disorder" because it better exemplifies the connotation of evil that hangs over this domain of personality. A malignant narcissist is someone who exhibits antisocial personality traits combined with unrestrained aggression, a more pathological than deviant conscience, a strong need for power and recognition, distrust of others, and certain elements of sadism. Kernberg says that malignant narcissism develops as a defense against feeling of inferiority and rejection.

All criminals tend to have problems understanding social norms. They are more self pre-occupied than concerned with obeying the law. Serial killers, like many criminals, are driven more by the expression of their internal needs than a rejection of external forces. To maintain this schedule of "conditioning one's conscience", two things are necessary: alienation and isolation. Fromm said that alienation can be handled by ritualized behavior. Isolation simply limits exposure to societal sources of social control. Serial killers often engage in ritualistic behavior as a substitute for socialization. They are socializing themselves, and providing their own sense of security, predictability, and order. In this sense, they are acting volitionally and learning to attend to their own needs in the only way they know how.

PRINTED RESOURCES:

Aronson, T. (1989) "Paranoia and Narcissism" Psychiatric Review 76(3):329-51.
Brown, N. (1998) The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern. Westport, Ct: Praeger.
Ferreira, C. (2000) "Serial Killers - Victims of Compulsion or Masters of Control?" Ch. 15 in D. Fishbein (Ed.) The Science, Treatment, and Prevention of Antisocial Behaviors. Kingston: Civic Res. Inst.
Fromm, E. (1973) The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness. NY: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.
Hale, R. (1993) "The Application of Learning Theory to Serial Murder: Or You Too Can Become a Serial Killer" American J. of Criminal Justice 17:37-45.
Hale, R. (1994) "The Role of Humiliation and Embarrassment in Serial Murder" Psychology: A Journal of Human Behavior 31:17-23. Horowitz, M. (1994) "Cyclical Patterns of States of Mind" Amer. J. Psychiatry 151(12):1767-70.
Kernberg, O. (1992) Severe Personality Disorders. New Haven: Yale U. Pres.
Kernberg, O. (1993) Aggression in Personality Disorders and Perversions. New Haven: Yale U. Press.
Kirmayer, L. (1983) "Paranoia and Pronoia" Social Problems 32(2):170-79.
Lowen, A. (1997) Narcissism: Denial of the True Self. NY: Touchstone Books.
Millon, T. & R. Davis (1995) Disorders of Personality: DSM-IV and Beyond. NY: Wiley & Sons.
Richards, H. (1998) "Evil Intent: Violence and Disorders of the Will" Pp. 69-94 in T. Millon et al. (Eds.) Psychopathy: Antisocial, Criminal, and Violent Behavior. NY: Guilford Press.
Ronningstam, E. (1998) Disorders of Narcissism. Washington DC: Amer. Psychiatric Press.

Stuart Hameroff, M.D on the Origin of Consciousness ...NYC Mon 7/26/2010#2

Teaching Your Children to Pray: One View

One of my readers sent me this article from 
AllAboutFamilies.org.  
She asked me to re-post it, and I assured her I would.  There are many ways to teach children to honor Creator, but I think this article has definite merit.  It shows no author, but rather is presented directly from the website.


Prayers for Children – Instruction
Many parents feel uncomfortable when constructing prayers for children or instructing their children about prayer. As parents we want to impart our depth of faith as we help our children discover their spiritual selves. We all have that picture-perfect image of a praying child -- closed eyes, folded hands, peaceful expression. But usually times of prayer find our children fidgeting while we shush them, telling them to bow their heads. Is there a formula that defines prayer in a natural, simple manner to our children?

Even the youngest child understands that prayer means “talking to God.” As a child shares their concerns, parents can write down simple phrases to help them recall. By creating specific prayers, parents can address the child’s individual needs and concerns. Prayer is “stimulated” by many things -- walking in the park/woods (giving thanks), seeing the handicapped/elderly (asking for healing), planning a vacation (requesting protection). Music creates an awareness of God’s nearness, helping children to focus on their feelings (Colossians 3:16). In time, children learn that prayer is a special time of thanksgiving with a Friend.

Praying out loud is important -- God spoke His Word out loud. There is power in prayer, especially when incorporating God’s spoken Word. It is very helpful for children to memorize Bible verses. This gives parents the opportunity to see how the Holy Spirit helps their children to recall God’s truths (John 14:26). A few examples of scriptural-based prayers for children might include:

• Thank you God, for taking away my sins and helping me to live right (1 Peter 2:24).
• Help me to know Jesus’ love and to feel Your power in me (Ephesians 3:19).
• I trust God to always protect me (Psalm 91:11, 14).
• Teach me God to be honest about my sins so I can confess them and be forgiven (1 John 1:9).
• I want to sing and tell everyone how wonderful You are (Psalm 150).

Prayers for Children – Investment
Prayers for children can be an investment in your children’s lives. Technology provides parents with a continuous electronic connection with their children (monitors, cell phones). Only prayer reinforces a life-long spiritual connection between the Heavenly Father, parents, and children. Parents often pray for their children’s healing or physical protection, yet spiritual security must take a higher priority. Pray that your children have the courage to follow Jesus (salvation), a teachable spirit (obedience), and wisdom to use the talents God gives them for His glory (commitment).

From birth, parents are investing in their children’s spiritual security. Even newborns are involved in prayer as you hold them, praying and introducing them to God’s love (Matthew 19:14–15). No one will pray as fervently for your children as you. No one will invest as much time in shaping their children’s values. The father’s relationship often models a child’s basis for a relationship with their Heavenly Father (Luke 11:11–13). Mothers who seek God for patience find wisdom when disciplining (Hebrews 12:6). By praying with your child after discipline, both parents and children experience God’s forgiveness and abundant mercy. The time invested in seeking God through prayer with our children will net a great return (Psalm 103:17–18).


Prayers for Children – Involved
Do your children ever see you praying as you go throughout your day? As Christ was our example, parents are called to be Spirit-led models for their children (2 Timothy 3:15–17). When our son and daughter were young, we said prayers for them, while they listened. Soon they were praying for us, while we listened. As our children learned more about God’s character, He was shaping their character as well. Their conversations with God became the “voice of their heart” -- sometimes detailed, sometimes unpretentious, always earnest.

Prayer is not about a formula. It is the anticipation of God’s response as we speak to Him. It represents a genuine expression of child-like devotion and faith. Prayers for children and with children give parents an opportunity to pass the legacy of their commitment and faith on to the next generation (Deuteronomy 6:5–7).

Indigos: Why We Feel Tired So Often by Celia Fenn

Why we Feel so Tired So Often

by Celia Fenn


Spanish Translation Turkish Translation


Many people who are going through the Indigo to Crystal shift find that intense fatigue and tiredness are two of the predominant symptoms of their shift. They feel exhausted all the time, and just want to sleep. And when they do sleep, they sleep deeply and do not want to get up.
So, what is happening, and why do we feel this way.
Archangel Michael explains that there are three different processes that cause the fatigue. These are:

• Emotional Body Clearing
• De-toxification of the Physical and Subtle Bodies
• Full Multi-Dimensional Consciousness

Each of these aspects can be handled in a different way.

Emotional Body Clearing

At the beginning of the process, we undergo intense emotional body clearing. This involves clearing the psyche and the subconscious of all old patterns of trauma and self-sabotage.The intensity of this process will depend on how much clearing you have already done in your preparation for ascension. I am a healer, and I helped many people to prepare, but never really found the time to fully complete my own process, so when I hit the transition I experienced intense emotional body processing for several months. The stuff just poured out of my subconscious, and I had weird dreams and anxiety attacks as I battled to process the trauma of my inner child.This kind of trauma release is exhausting! Some people don't fully realise what is happening, as they do most of their releasing through dream work at night. But those who suffer anxiety attacks are often doing this processing during the day.
At this point you may need help to work with letting go of old patterns being held by the Inner Child. This is where you need to really do your Inner Child work. Find a good therapist, do a workshop, or find a good book, but let go of the patterns of your wounded child!
And then understand that while you are doing this clearing you will be exhausted. You have spent most of your life repressing these energies. Processing them is hard work. But worth it! when you are finished you will have cleared your psyche of subconscious patterns of self-sabotage, and will be able to function from a space of complete clarity and purity of intention.

De-Toxification of the Physical and Subtle Bodies

This process of deep cleansing is associated with the processes mentioned above. As the emotions are released, so are all the old mental and physical blocks and patterns that are associated with them.These old "toxic" energies are passed through the subtle bodies and cleared through the physical. In addition, any old toxins that the physical body is holding will be cleared at this time.
This process of cleansing and de-toxification puts considerable strain on the organs of elimination, being the kidneys and the liver. Hence many of you may experience having bags under your eyes, evidence of kidney stress, and digestive disturbances such as heartburn and flatulence, evidence of liver stress. In addition you may experience pains in the joints, which is also a characteristic of detoxification, as excess acids are released from their storage in the body.
In addition, these processes of elimination will also make you feel tired, and you may be prone to headaches - all symptoms of detoxification. That is why you will need to drink lots of clear, clean water and try to eat a healthy diet as far as is possible.

Full Multi-Dimensional Consciousness

This is the most exciting part, and happens throughout the process. It is responsible for the "spaciness" that so many of you are feeling.Archangel Michael asked me to explain this to you in terms of the frequencies of the brain waves. As you enter mutli-dimensional awareness, you expand the range of consciousness that your body can handle and the ways in which it is handled.
The brainwave frequencies are as follows:

• Beta- "normal" waking consciousness
• Alpha - light meditation
• Theta - deep meditation
• Delta - the sleep state or deep hypnosis
• Gamma - rapid eye movement or the deepest state of sleep/hypnosis where operations can be performed without pain

A third-dimensional being functions in the Beta range, and moves into Alpha in states of creativity and prayer.A fifth-dimensional being functions between Beta/Alpha/Theta in the normal waking state.
Your multi-dimensional awarenss allows your consciousness to shift in this range, while you are awake!!! But this is what causes "fatigue". Your body has always recognised Theta as a state of deep relaxation prior to sleep, and so when your brain waves shift to Theta it sends you a message to say that you are tired and about to go to sleep! And so because we are conditioned to respond to that cue with tiredness and sleep, we feel that we need to go and sleep.
A sixth-dimensional being in training for full 9D Christ Consciousness will be learning to move through Delta to Gamma in the normal waking state!! Now your body definitely thinks it's asleep!! The trick is to learn to move with these states, without panicking or getting "lost" in a dream-like state. Those of us who are doing this work often feel like we are living in a slow-mo dream world, and this is in fact true. We are living in the dream state in our waking consciousness.


This will take a while to master, but once mastered it is the key to immense creativity and the manifestation of "miracles". In this deep state of consciousness we can literally bend and shape time and matter with pure intention. So, understand that your body is learning to adapt to a different range of brain-wave frequencies.

A Note of Caution

Please be careful when in any of the above states that you are aware of the following:

• Stay Grounded. Work at keeping in your body. Do not take recreational drugs or smoke dope at this time, it will intefere with the natural expansion of consciousness.
• Distinguish between real tiredness and expanded consciousness. Be kind to yourself. If you feel tired - rest. In fact, you will need significant amounts of rest as you pass through this process. if you try to overdo things you will become hyper and will probably crash into exhaustion anyway.
• Be careful. If you are driving a car, concentrate and focus. So many people are having accidents because they are unaware of what happens when their brain shifts frequencies. It is just a matter of being grounded and concentrating. Tell your body and your guidance that for the duration of the journey you need to be able to concentrate fully on what you are doing.
• Relax - it will pass. Soon you will become used to working with these different frequencies. I have begun to have a lot of fun with the dreamy, spacy state, and I am learning to use the creativity that it engenders. I am also learning how to shift frequencies at will. Yes, we are truly becoming Crystal or Christed.

The Indigo Adult & article by Wendy Chapman

Back when I first started practice, I had three teachers /assistant principals call me to ask if I treated Indigo children. Honestly, I was totally clueless about that term...and I had certainly not heard of it in any clinical internship, practicum, etc. 

About a week or so later, I heard two women talking about it in a coffee shop. I am such a "fan" of synchronicity, that I knew it was my time to really explore this.  Now when I do that sort of research, I get as devoted to, and lost in, the process....sort of like a guy working on the engine of a car he loves...or a surgeon after he / she has laid open the flap.  My friends often tease me about that. Part of it is that having computers and internet education, to me, is quite awesome.

So I looked up and studied the term (actually a label, as I was taught by my daughter...but then that's a whole 'nother column!). I read books, contacted a couple of authors...and so on.  (Told you...like a dog with a new bone!!!)

I called some professors at a few of the Ivy Leagues out of the blue, and they were wonderful and eager to share their knowledge, for which I was, and still am,  immensely grateful.  I discovered there were other less "New Agey" terms, in terms of viewing it through a more scientific lense.  I also discovered that a lot of people thought just as my daughter did!

What I think most impressed me was some of the literature written about the phenomenon but, more importantly how the children of today, in yet another stage of consciousness globally, often presented as "Indigo".

So, I learned the ways to parent an Indigo because of their inherent qualities.  I loved reading that but, honestly, I considered that to be excellent parenting that should / could encompass all children.  

It is generally known that an Indigo child must have at least one Indigo parent. However, there are many who do not honor, or deal with, that gift in themselves.  Other times they ignore it in their own children, even belittle it.  Certain teachers actually scorn such children.  I confess that creates a sadness in me.

One of the most interesting families I ever worked with, knew they were such a family....mom, dad, and both children.  Whenever I would work with them, I really felt Creator in the entire process...it was like a sacred hush in my soul, and I continually prayed for guidance in every session. There were other issues with which the family struggled...real life struggles.  But throughout it all I was in awe of their work as a family...and how that "Indigo" manifested in each of them.  

So, I try to post columns which might assist parents to come to know this about their children.  Logically...it always points back to at least one of the parents.

I could write about this forever, but thought I would share the adult Indigo features as generally recognized.  These are not cast in stone, and I have seen different nuances with each point.  At the end of the day, what I have learned is that I can spot these children in a McDonald's...or in a classroom.  Like they say, I can just feel it. You could come to, also.

When you read the list, it is not precise and, like any other group, there are subtle differences with each person.  

Since those first calls, I have discovered that there are some counselors or teachers in the school system who understand this. 

Are You an Adult Indigo? ~by Wendy H. Chapman, Director, Metagifted.Org Used with Permission Yes, You can be an adult Indigo. They did not JUST start coming in now, the numbers have just been increasing more and more until there are so many we finally can not ignore them. Yeay!!! Are you an adult Indigo? I believe Adult Indigos have these characteristics: Are intelligent (though did not necessarily have top grades). Are very creative and enjoy making things. Always need to know WHY (especially why they are being asked to do something). Had disgust and perhaps loathing for the inanity of much of the required work in school, the repetition. Were rebellious in school, refusing to do homework, rejecting authority of teachers OR seriously wanted to rebel, but didn't DARE, usually due to parental pressure. May have experienced early existential depression and feelings of helplessness. These may have ranged from sadness to utter despair. Suicidal feelings while still in high school or younger are not uncommon in the Indigo Adult. Have difficulty in service-oriented jobs - resistance to authority and caste system of employment. Prefer cooperative efforts or leadership position or solo if expertise is valued. Have deep empathy for others, yet an intolerance of stupidity. Extremely emotionally sensitive including crying at the drop of a hat (no shielding) - to no expression of emotion (full shielding). May have trouble with RAGE. Have trouble with most systems (either emotionally, mentally, or physically)- political, educational, medical, law. Alienation from politics - feeling your voice won't count and that the outcome really doesn't matter anyway. Frustration with or rejection of the traditional American dream - 9-5 career, marriage, 2.5 children, house with white picket fence, etc. Anger at rights being taken away, fear and/or fury at "Big Brother watching you." They feel a need like a burning desire to do something to change and improve the world. May be stymied what to do. Have psychic or spiritual interest fairly young - in or before teen years. Had few if any Indigo role models. Have strong intuition. Random behavior pattern or mind style - (symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder), may have trouble focusing on a task unless of OWN choosing, may jump around in conversations. Have had psychic experiences, such as premonitions, seeing angels or ghosts, hearing voices. Sexually expressive and inventive OR may reject sexuality in boredom. May explore alternate types of sexuality. Seek meaning to their life and understanding about the world May seek this through religion, spiritual groups and books, self-help groups or books, or individually. If they find balance they may become very strong, healthy, happy lightworkers. These are my opinion based on the discussions with other Indigo adults and my extrapolation from child indicators projected back a generation. I am open to other ideas for indicators as well as disagreements with these.

Virgin Galactic Full Introduction film Nov 09 Version 2.mov

How utterly amazing! (Bee and Bran...you may end up going on vacation in one of these!)

URGENT!! MSNBC REPORTING THAT COREXIT IS KILLING CLEAN UP WORKERS!!

While I am not at all surprised by the continuing pernicious acts of BP....I remain....REPULSED!

"Different drug problem...."

I received the enclosed clipping today from a friend.  Having grown up in the "old school" daze(!), I think we have come a long way...but at the same time, have to grin about the general ethic "back then"...about service and integrity, in particular.

Spanking is Counterproductive and Dangerous

"Relationship Secrets for Highly Empathic People"

Judith Orloff MD (Psychiatrist)

Judith Orloff, M.D., Author ofEmotional Freedom: Liberate Yoursef From negative Emotions and Transform Your Life

Posted: June 30, 2010 08:00 nship Advice , Relationship Tips ,Living News8

Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn't always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes. In my psychiatric practice in Los Angeles and in my workshops I've been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call "emotional empaths" come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years. Or else they're in relationships but feel constantly fatigued and overwhelmed. The reason isn't simply that "there aren't enough emotionally available people 'out there,'" nor is their burnout "neurotic." Personally and professionally, I've discovered that something more is going on.

In "Emotional Freedom" I describe emotional empaths as a species unto themselves. Whereas others may thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for empaths like me, too much togetherness can be difficult, may cause us to bolt. Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner's energy, and become overloaded, anxious, or exhausted when we don't have time to decompress in our own space. We're super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with 50 fingers instead of five. Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they're afraid of getting engulfed. Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live. If this isn't understood, empaths can stay perpetually lonely. We want companionship, but, paradoxically, it doesn't feel safe. One empath patient told me, "It helps explain why at 32 I've only had two serious relationships, each lasting less than a year." Once we empaths learn to set boundaries and negotiate our energetic preferences, intimacy becomes possible.

For emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the traditional paradigm for coupling must be redefined. Most of all, this means asserting your personal space needs -- the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don't feel they're on top of you. Empaths can't fully experience emotional freedom with another until they do this. Your space needs can vary with your situation, upbringing, and culture. My ideal distance to keep in public is at least an arm's length. In doctors' waiting rooms I'll pile my purse and folders on the seats beside me to keep others away.

With friends it's about half that. With a mate it's variable. Sometimes it's rapture being wrapped in his arms; later I may need to be in a room of my own, shut away. One boyfriend who truly grasped the concept got me a "Keep Out" sign for my study door! For me, this was a sign of true love. All of us have an invisible energetic border that sets a comfort level. Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being bled dry by others. Then intimacy can flourish, even if you've felt suffocated before. Prospective mates or family members may seem like emotional vampires when you don't know how to broach the issue of personal space. You may need to educate others -- make clear that this isn't about not loving them -- but get the discussion going. Once you can, you're able to build progressive relationships.

If you're an empath or if the ordinary expectations of coupledom don't jibe with you practice the following tips.

Define your personal space needs

Tip 1. What to say to a potential mate

As you're getting to know someone, share that you're a sensitive person, that you periodically need quiet time. The right partner will be understanding; the wrong person will put you down for being "overly sensitive," and won't respect your need.

Tip 2. Clarify your preferred sleep style

Traditionally, partners sleep in the same bed. However, some empaths never get used to this, no matter how caring a mate. Nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space. Speak up about your preferences. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night's rest, is torture. Energy fields blend during sleep, which can overstimulate empaths. So, discuss options with your mate. Separate beds. Separate rooms. Sleeping together a few nights a week. Because non-empaths may feel lonely sleeping alone, make compromises when possible.

Tip 3. Negotiate your square footage needs

You may be thrilled about your beloved until you live together. Experiment with creative living conditions so your home isn't a prison. Breathing room is mandatory. Ask yourself, "What space arrangements are optimal?" Having an area to retreat to, even if it's a closet? A room divider? Separate bathrooms? Separate houses? I prefer having my own bedroom/office to retreat to. I also can see the beauty of separate wings or adjacent houses if affordable. Here's why: conversations, scents, coughing, movement can feel intrusive. Even if my partner's vibes are sublime, sometimes I'd rather not sense them even if they're only hovering near me. I'm not just being finicky; it's about maintaining well-being if I live with someone.

Tip 4. Travel wisely

Traveling with someone, you may want to have separate space too. Whether my companion is romantic or not, I'll always have adjoining rooms with my own bathroom. If sharing a room is the only option, hanging a sheet as a room divider will help. "Out of sight" may make the heart grow fonder.

Tip 5. Take regular mini-breaks

Empaths require private downtime to regroup. Even a brief escape prevents emotional overload. Retreat for five minutes into the bathroom with the door shut. Take a stroll around the block. Read in a separate room. One patient told her boyfriend, "I need to disappear into a quiet room for ten minutes at a party, even if I'm having fun," a form of self-care that he supports.

In my medical practice, I've seen this creative approach to relationships save marriages and make ongoing intimacies feel safe, even for emotional empaths (of all ages) who've been lonely and haven't had a long-term partner before. Once you're able to articulate your needs, emotional freedom in your relationships is possible.