MY WORK ... MY PASSION

• Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ; Past experiences: Dream Analysis /10 Years Experience •Psychotherapist / Use of Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies /10 Years Experience •EMDR • Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship • Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) / 21 years experience •Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant • Social Justice Advocate • Child and Human Rights Advocate • Spiritual Guide and Intuitive • Certified Reiki Practitioner • Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups • Parenting Workshops • Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children • International Training: Israel & England • Critical Incident Stress Debriefing • Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer

MSW - UNC Chapel Hill

BSW - UNC Greensboro


With immense love I wish Happy Birthday to my three grandchildren!

May 22: Brannock

May 30: Brinkley

June 12: Brogan

All three have birthdays in the same 22 days of the year ....what a busy time for the family!

"An Unending Love"

This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my precious daughter Jennifer, my grand daughters Brogan and Brinkley, and my grand son Brannock. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.




The Definition of Genius

"THRIVE"

https://youtu.be/Lr-RoQ24lLg

"ONLY LOVE PREVAILS" ...."I've loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more....."


As we are in the winter of our lives, I dedicate this to Andrew, Dr. John J.C. Jr. and Gary W., MD, (who has gone on before us). My love and admiration is unfathomable for each of you..........and what you have brought into this world.....so profoundly to me.
The metaphors are rich and provocative; we're in them now. This world is indeed disappearing, and the richest eternal world awaits us!
The intensity, as was in each of the three of us, is in yellow!
In my heart forever.........

Slowly the truth is loading
I'm weighted down with love
Snow lying deep and even
Strung out and dreaming of
Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world

We're threading hope like fire

Down through the desperate blood
Down through the trailing wire
Into the leafless wood

Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


I'll be sticking right there with it
I'll be by y
our side
Sailing like a silver bullet
Hit 'em 'tween the eyes
Through the smoke and rising water
Cross the great divide
Baby till it all feels right

Night falling on the city
Sparkling red and gold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This
disappearing world
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


TECHNOLOGY..........

In “Conversations with God”, by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a warning I think of. I refer to it as the Atlantis passage, and I've quoted it a few times before." As I have said, this isn't the first time your civilization has been at this brink,"

God tells Walsch. "I want to repeat this, because it is vital that you hear this. Once before on your planet, the technology you developed was far greater than your ability to use it responsibly. You are approaching the same point in human history again. It is vitally important that you understand this. Your present technology is threatening to outstrip your ability to use it wisely. Your society is on the verge of becoming a product of your technology rather than your technology being a product of your society. When a society becomes a product of its own technology, it destroys itself."

Showing posts with label self-regulation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-regulation. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

ALWAYS INFLUENCE, NEVER CONTROL

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and
Licensed Psychologist.  He is available for coaching in any area
presented in "Practical Life Coaching" (formerly "Practical
Psychology").  Initial coaching sessions are free.  Contact him: (970)
568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.


By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

       When coaching couples, many times I hear statements like: "Our
marriage has gone flat."  "All we do is fight...if we talk to each
other at all;"  "If only s/he would change, I would be a lot happier;"
Each one complains about his or her partner

       Many young adults honestly believe that if they love their partner
enough, or relate to them long enough, that the partner will change.
If they criticize enough, point out the other's weaknesses enough,
blame enough, give enough, yell enough, go silent long enough...their
partner will change.

       Some people acknowledge they don't have the power to change
another's thoughts, feelings, opinions, or values.  Therefore, they go
on to conclude that they have no impact or influence on anyone.  If
what they say or do cannot change how another responds, then it seems
logical to conclude they themselves are powerless, helpless to
influence others.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

       Everything you do has an impact on yourself, others or your
environment.  You are the most powerful and influential creature on
earth.  Just because you cannot control the choices or responses of
others, does not mean you function without impact.  Simply because you
cannot determine how others think, feel or behave, does not mean you
have no important impact on them at all.

       Let's turn this dynamic around and view it from the opposite side.
If you cannot determine how others function, the reverse is also true.
 They cannot determine how you behave.  Viewed from this perspective,
who determines how we think, feel and behave?  Clearly, it is only
you.  We have all the power to change ourselves.  We have no power to
change others.

       Does this mean we are not impacted by the behavior of others?  Not
at all.  If you walk up and slap me across the face, your behavior
will have a powerful impact on me.  However, your slapping me in no
way determines how I will respond.  I am free to choose my response
from any number of possibilities.  Your slap does not determine my
response.  I do.

       When you realize you can and do have an impact on others, but have
absolutely no power to determine their responses, you are free to stop
wasting your time and energy focusing on how you can make your spouse,
child or colleague change anything.  With that freed-up time and
energy, you might as well use it to modify the only person you can
change...,yourself.

       When you change yourself, you modify the nature of the impact you
have on others.  Remember, you and your behavior always have
influence.  The nature of that influence is determined by your own
choices.  You never have control of others.  The nature of control
lies within each of us alone.  When you fully understand this, you
will stop blaming others, stop reacting to others, stop modifying what
you do in order to "make" someone else happy, angry, sad, or behave in
any way differently than they choose.

       Stephen Covey writes in his book, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective
People, "...if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of
person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy
rather than empowering it.  If you want to have a more pleasant
cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent,
loving parent.  If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in
your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing
employee.  If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy.  If you want the
secondary greatness of recognized talent, focus first on primary
greatness of [your own] character."

       Never forget that who you are...your character, always influences
others.  That is your personal power.  Manage your power wisely and
you influence the nature of all your relationships.  You are helpless
to control or change your partner, but you do have a powerful impact
on the quality of your marriage.  Improve the quality of your
character and you improve the quality of not only your marital
relationship, but all your relationships.  The only way you can
possibly change your life is to change yourself.  You may not
determine or control how life is, but you always have an influence
upon it.

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"