Narcissistic men and women are so self centered and self indulgent that they see
friends and lovers as mere extensions of themselves. They are obsessed with
flattery and demand to be adored and have attention to themselves at all times.
friends and lovers as mere extensions of themselves. They are obsessed with
flattery and demand to be adored and have attention to themselves at all times.
Unfortunately, these narcissistic types are very charismatic and you may at first
be attracted to them without realizing what you are stepping into. Because their
egos are so very fragile, they constantly crave attention which eventually puts
their partner at risk of being on the loosing end of the relationship. It is a truly
exhausting experience with a high-high-maintenance person.
be attracted to them without realizing what you are stepping into. Because their
egos are so very fragile, they constantly crave attention which eventually puts
their partner at risk of being on the loosing end of the relationship. It is a truly
exhausting experience with a high-high-maintenance person.
To help you with some tips on identifying whether or not he or she is a
narcissistic type, ask yourself the following questions:
narcissistic type, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Does he or she loose interest when they are not the center of attention?
2. Are most conversations about them, whether you try to change the subject or
not? This is an interesting one, because the narcissist has a proficient and
seasoned ability to appear as though they have their entire attention on what you
are saying, and are actively listening. Not!
They see it as a game and a challenge, perhaps even asking a question about you
(now you are hooked in, right?) which in your mind, proves they are interested
and empathic about your life.
Wrong! So very wrong ... because inside, their minds are not on anything you
say, nor do they care even a smidgen! Truth be known, their capacity for
empathy and genuine caring is zero ... nada, zip, zilch. There is only one
exception: if you have something they need (affirmation, compliments, material
things, or attitudes they believe necessary for their emotional survival), they will
make the moves of which they think you will approve.
After you are used to this sort of reprehensible person, you become very aware
of their thin and superficial veneer. If anything, they are remaining in the
conversation because maybe ... just maybe ...they will get lucky and the
conversation will be about them again. At this point.... their listening skills
receive an energetic and temporary mini-shot in the arm.
not? This is an interesting one, because the narcissist has a proficient and
seasoned ability to appear as though they have their entire attention on what you
are saying, and are actively listening. Not!
They see it as a game and a challenge, perhaps even asking a question about you
(now you are hooked in, right?) which in your mind, proves they are interested
and empathic about your life.
Wrong! So very wrong ... because inside, their minds are not on anything you
say, nor do they care even a smidgen! Truth be known, their capacity for
empathy and genuine caring is zero ... nada, zip, zilch. There is only one
exception: if you have something they need (affirmation, compliments, material
things, or attitudes they believe necessary for their emotional survival), they will
make the moves of which they think you will approve.
After you are used to this sort of reprehensible person, you become very aware
of their thin and superficial veneer. If anything, they are remaining in the
conversation because maybe ... just maybe ...they will get lucky and the
conversation will be about them again. At this point.... their listening skills
receive an energetic and temporary mini-shot in the arm.
3. Is your partner always fishing for compliments? (Many times by body
language, i.e. breathing in disgust, slamming doors, groaning ... all so that you
will ask "about them". Then comes the anger inside them when they catch a
glimmer that their life is not so important to you that you sacrifice your Self for it.
language, i.e. breathing in disgust, slamming doors, groaning ... all so that you
will ask "about them". Then comes the anger inside them when they catch a
glimmer that their life is not so important to you that you sacrifice your Self for it.
4. If you criticism him or her, do they literally fall apart at that criticism, especially
if it refers to their looks or their mistakes? (And then observe their rage bubble
and boil.)
if it refers to their looks or their mistakes? (And then observe their rage bubble
and boil.)
5. Do you catch them talking about all of their supposed 'lost loves' whom each
allegedly "wasn't up to standards", and they seemed to have had major flaws in
which he or she had to break up with them?.
6. If he or she is not getting special treatment or constant attention do they get
allegedly "wasn't up to standards", and they seemed to have had major flaws in
which he or she had to break up with them?.
6. If he or she is not getting special treatment or constant attention do they get
mad or have a temper tantrums? For example if when they are not waited on
fast enough in restaurants, or did not get the best seats at the movies, are they
upset? Do they charge through the grocery store, laying waste the other
shoppers who may desire a calm experience?
fast enough in restaurants, or did not get the best seats at the movies, are they
upset? Do they charge through the grocery store, laying waste the other
shoppers who may desire a calm experience?
7. Do you find a pattern of this person using people just to get what they want
and then discarding them when their own needs are met?
and then discarding them when their own needs are met?
If the man or women you are interested in shows any number of these types of
behaviors then you may want to be careful. These are not the type of people to
get involved in a relationship with if you want a healthy relationship, based on
equal attention and love.
That "reality" ... a healthy relationship ... is an impossible notion with a narcissist.
behaviors then you may want to be careful. These are not the type of people to
get involved in a relationship with if you want a healthy relationship, based on
equal attention and love.
That "reality" ... a healthy relationship ... is an impossible notion with a narcissist.
