"Everybody Fails" by Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and
Licensed Psychologist.  He is available for coaching in any area
presented in "Practical Life Coaching" (formerly "Practical
Psychology").  Initial coaching sessions are free.  


http://lists.webvalence.com/listmgr/subscribe?lists=practical_life_coaching

EVERYBODY FAILS

By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

       Someone once said, "The road to success is paved with failures."
Failure begins when the baby tries to crawl, stand, walk and run.  It
continues whenever anybody attempts something new that s/he has never
done before.  Rarely does anybody succeed at something new without
making mistakes (failures) along the way.  Those attempts and failures
we call a "learning curve."

       Michael Gersham, in his book, "Getting It Right The Second Time,"
writes of forty-nine product failures.  Among these were Kleenex,
Jell-O, and Pepsi, the opera "Carmen," the book "The Celestine
Prophecy," and forty-four others.  Walt Disney went bankrupt...five
times.  Now that is a lot of failure.

               The original Greek word for "sin" was an old archer's term,
"hamartia," which means to "miss the mark."  When we miss the mark, we
sin.  Does this mean we, as human beings are all "sinners?"  Are we
all failures?  No.  It means we all regularly miss the mark.  In the
Olympics, all but one miss the gold.  Are all those other athletes
failures?  Are they sinners?  Only if we judge them to be so.  Only if
they judge themselves to be so.

       Great baseball batting averages are above .300.  That means six out
of ten times, the best players fail to get to first base.  Now that is
a lot of failure!  Or is it?  Only if we judge them to be so.  By the
time football's "Super Bowl" is over, every team in the NFL has missed
the mark of winning all their games ...at least once.  Does that mean
every player in the NFL is a failure?  Only if we judge them to be so.

       In his book, "Should You Quit Before You're Fired?," Paul Pilzer
tells the story of a father observing his little boy throwing a
baseball up in the air with one hand, then swinging his bat to hit it.
 The boy missed three times in a row.  After the third time, he spun
around and fell to the ground shouting, "Strike three, I'm out."
Trying to hide his disappointment, the father ran over to help his son
up.  Before he "failed" to get to him, the boy jumped up and said,
"So, what do you think?  Not bad for a pitcher, huh, Dad?!"  To his
son, three misses out of three attempts was not a lot of failure.  Or
was it?

       Failure is a judgment.  It's definition is based upon a verb...to
fail, which means "to fall short of success in something expected,
attempted, desired."  In order to avoid failing, many people never
expect anything, never risk attempting anything new, sometimes never
desire anything.  Their own fear of being judged "a failure" leads
them to never attempt anything without a guaranteed successful
outcome.  And in life, there are no guaranteed outcomes!
Consequently, those people who are fearful of criticism or "failure"
never attempt anything, and the outcome is precisely the same as if
they had tried and missed their mark...failure.  If the archer never
shoots the arrow, he never ever hits anything, let alone the target.
Is it a greater "sin" to miss the mark having shot the arrow, or is it
more "sinful" to have never drawn back the bow?

       Rather than never attempting anything, perhaps the fearful need to
change their expectations.  Band leader, Les Brown once said, "Always
shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you land among the Stars."
Perhaps we need to fail at judging ourselves to be failures.  Perhaps
we should not judge ourselves at all.

       When we stop judging ourselves as failures, we are set free to enjoy
life.  We all miss the marks we set for ourselves.  Perhaps the
greatest target for psychological health is to take delight in being
alive, in being who we are no matter how often we "miss the mark."
You are a failure or success only if you say so!

       We all find goals useful in focusing our attention.  We are all free
to create and change our goals.  Keep in mind we all fail depending
only on our perceived goal and judgment.  Failure and success are
states of mind.  They exist only if you mentally say so.  And we are
each free to choose whether or not we say so.

       One key to happiness is to enjoy the process of living, to take
delight in playing the game regardless of the outcome.  Choose to
actively enjoy the challenges of the life-long game called "Life."
Keep in mind, as long as you are alive, you cannot fail unless you
choose to.  Success or failure in living is always your choice.

"Parents Have to Re-Invent Their Wheel"....Labels notwithstanding!

http://www.brighthill.net Much has been written about the children who are coming into the world today. Essentially, these kids are coming in with the life purpose of helping us to ascend. Indigo children The Indigo children are so called because of their indigo-colored auras. They have been coming in for about a hundred years (or more), really, helping to raise the consciousness of the world and break down old paradigms. Much of the social changes in the U.S. in the 1960s were due to these early pioneers, who dared to break the rules. Many of the older spiritual leaders and psychics are Indigos themselves. Crystal, rainbow, and crystal-rainbow children The crystal children are a later wave of souls, here to show us how to be Christ-conscious, and live in joy. They, and the rainbow children, have magnetic personalities. Their vibrations are irresistable to most people. The crystal-rainbows, for want of a better word, are just now coming in, and they bring a higher vibrational frequency with them. These kids are raising the vibration of the planet by degrees; a crystal-rainbow is no better than a crystal, or an indigo, or any other kid, for that matter. It's just that their purpose, their divine timing for entry into this world means they are what they are. Basically, these kids are all highly psychic, highly spiritual, have healing abilities, are empathic, and are inherently Christ-conscious. These are not your mother's kids The new children do not learn the way kids did 30, 20, even 15 years ago. They have different needs. This is why the old school paradigm is failing them. These kids do not have disorders, and they do not need drugs to help them calm down. What they do need is to be understood. To learn in a way that works for them, not for the beaurocracy built by local and federal governments. To be loved, exactly as they are. Your children don't belong to you I understand that some people will take exception to this statement, but our children do not "belong" to us. They are God's gift to us. It is our job, our responsibility, to meet them where they are, and to love and to accept them for who they are. I am not advocating a lack of discipline, mind. Of course children have to learn how to share, how to eat nicely, how to say "thank you," and all the rest. But it is not our job as parents to mold them into mini-me's. They are not us. They are who they are, already perfect, as God sent them to us. What about other kids? (The problem with labels) It's really, really important to understand that ALL children are gifts from God, and that ALL children are special, regardless of whether they seem to fit the description of an Indigo, a crystal, or anything else. If they're here, they have a divine purpose, and one divine purpose is not better than another. If we were without the experience of even one child, we would be diminished. The experience may last an hour or 100 years; either way, their divine purpose is a gift.

"So...What Is This Thing Called Ascension?"

Re-posted from  BRIGHTHILL and the Hawkesworths Quite simply, Ascension is remembering who you are. We are all spiritual beings, a part of God, but we have forgotten this connection while we experienced this third-dimensional world. Ascension means returning to a higher dimension (or vibration) that you never left—remembering where you have always been. Initially, Ascension on this plane means moving from 3-D to 4-D. After some time, we will then move to 5-D, but it never really ends, because we are infinite, and we never stop growing and evolving. 4-D 4-D has similarities to 3-D. We will still have bodies, except that our bodies can be completely healed and can be however we wish them to be. They are just vehicles, in any dimension. The veil will be gone, and we will see spirits and entities, our teachers, easily again. Animals that have been extinct will return, including the so-called mythological animals, such as griffins and unicorns. In reality, they never left, but we will see them again. Color will be a whole new experience in 4-D. You may be experiencing 4-D colors now. They go beyond what we call the "visible spectrum" in 3-D. They are incredibly deep and vibrant. The shift into 4-D is a tonal shift, and everyone who heals will have 12 chakras, not 7. (The more a being ascends, the more chakras they have. This is why some of the teacher entities in ancient Egypt were 30 feet or more tall. The depictions of scale in ancient Egypt is not fantasy; it was a picture of reality.) Manifestation will occur very quickly—what we think, we create. This cycle occurs in 3-D, but the amount of time it takes to create in this way is speeding up. If you think about it, you can see this in your life. Good or bad, whatever you focus on is what comes to you. And, with the end of karma, attempts to harm simply rebound onto ourselves with lightning speed. But we will quickly learn that we don't want to do that, as we release our egos... 5-D and beyond When we ascend to 5-D, we will realize we don't need our bodies, and we will have the ability to return to Light whenever we want to. Is it hard to imagine yourself without a body? To imagine yourself as a spark of God's Divine Love? This is who you really are. The ego wraps itself in the body, but this is not truth. This is not you. All of the great masters "live" here, and beyond: Christ, Quan Yin, Buddha, Ganesh, St. Francis, the list goes on and on. Ascension and healing I am often asked what we need to do to prepare for ascension, and there is only one answer:  work on your own healing. We will all ascend, one way or the other. We may live through the ascension here on Earth. Some of us have chosen to do this. Some have not. Those who have not will still ascend, but they will do so by the death of their physical body. This is their choice. Everyone has free will. If you are reading this, chances are you want to stay, and you are being called to healing. Healing is critical. The energies that are coming in now are very high frequency, and our bodies are working to integrate them. This affects everyone, even healers. As a result, our bodies are having strange healing responses:  sudden illnesses, hospitalizations, you name it. I have had a pretty major healing response myself, which landed me in the hospital for awhile. Energetically, it was all good, but it was a scary experience. Of course, as I've written elsewhere, the physical manifestation of illness comes from problems in the spiritual, mental, and emotional bodies. In order to heal, we must reconnect our emotions, and we must reconnect with Spirit. There are no shortcuts. Earth changes The Earth Changes are an important part of the Ascension. Gaia has much to heal, much she has suffered at our hands. She is doing so. Gaia's healing may leave some areas in the "emergency room" for awhile as she heals, but we can help her with this and make the transition as smooth as possible. The global warming that is occuring is due in large part to the amount of energy she is exerting in making these changes. She is generating a lot of heat... Which isn't to say we shouldn't be green. Oil has got to go. Free energy IS available, and it has been suppressed by the people who control the world's economy today. They are losing their grip, however, and it is changing... hang on for the ride, some systems must fall before we can build anew. When will the Ascension happen? It is happening now. Look around you. Healing is like making chicken soup. First, all the scum rises to the surface. The chaos and violence in the world are a sign that healing is occurring. People are actually getting sick of it. We will find the way of peace because we have no other choice. 2012 is certainly a factor. There will probably be an Ascension event at that time, and no one can say what that will look like with certainty. I believe it will be an energetic pulse that will trigger masses of people to wake up. The veil may drop at this time. However, it will not be the ONLY Ascension event. Ascension is a process. If it weren't, probably none of us could survive it. There will be other events following 2012, and this will continue for decades. Past Ascension events and grid shifts At least one Ascension event has occurred in the past. Notably, one occurred with the birth of the man known as Jesus Christ. In a very obscure Gnostic text regarding his birth (in a cave, not a stable in Bethlehem), the Sun stopped in the sky for 24 hours—the Earth stopped rotating on its axis. This wasn't because he was the sole Son of God (everyone is the Son/Daughter of God), but rather because of the energy he brought to the planet. Full Ascension could have occurred in his lifetime, but the world was not ready. Grid shifts occur continuously. 9/11 heralded a huge grid shift, for example. The Harmonic Convergence brought about a grid shift. Sometimes a natural disaster, like the Indonesian tsunami, is the result of a grid shift. Certainly, the geological records of the Earth suddenly flipping magnetic poles (from north to south, or vice versa) probably indicate similar events in our past.

Bringing up the rear

This is quite out of the realm of my usual post, yet important information. Some years ago this tendency was well confirmed as I surveyed hundreds of men regarding the male gender. It was interesting that they would, after an opening (no pun intended), talk about this subject openly with me, a female. Yet, as actually happened, take all these men into a group, and it was an issue which never came up (again, no pun intended).

My purpose for posting this is simply because we are working through our biases, little by little, and one by one. This validates that assumption.

Here's another one for you......note the concomitance between this notion, and the flexing of hard-assed (Nope no pun!!) ideas and judgments about gays?

This appeared in Salon, whose editorial research I respect...so now was the time. Enjoy!!!


http://www.salon.com/life/sex/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2011/03/26/pegging

"A Simple Way to Understand Ho'oponopono"

From "In the Desert Children's Project" A Simple Way to Understand Ho'oponopono Question: What is Ho'oponopono?   Answer:   It is a way to cause LOVE, Peace and Harmony for all. Question: Why do I need Ho'oponopono?  Answer:  To resolve all problems in your life. Question: How do I resolve my problem?    Answer: All problems can be resolved when we turn to LOVE, the Life Source,  for the answer. Question:  Why do I need to turn to LOVE to resolve my problem? Answer:  Only LOVE truly knows you and has the power to resolve all problems in your life.      How does Ho'oponopono work?      1.   First know the functions of each during the cleaning:                    Do you know what  your job is?                    Do you know what LOVE's job is?      2.   Here's what  your job looks like: Simply ask for forgiveness, moment to moment, for whatever problems may be happening in your life by saying:                                   "I'm sorry"                            "Please forgive me"      3. Here's what LOVE's job looks like: Only LOVE can erase or transmute unwanted energies or  thoughts:                          And replace it with  New Divine Thought which brings you back into Balance to experiencePeace, Harmony and Love.                                     4.  This process is called the 'cleaning'. Question: How do I get to the cleaning? Answer: Use one of theHo'oponopono tools which is the same as saying  "I'm Sorry.  Please Forgive me".       5.  Everything is left totally up to LOVE to design the outcome.           All we need to do is accept so we can receive what is right           and perfect for each of us.

Undoubtedly!!....A Wayseer: "The Rescue of A Baby Hummingbird"

If it were only possible to clone this young male...one can only imagine the tenderness he will have for his own child in the future, should that be the path he decides.


But, in the here and now,...he is a stunning example of "love".


(And what could be better than the music by Jack Johnson...a real advocate of nature and responsibility to our earth.)

"On Empathy" by Marlene Swetlishoff

In this discourse, we wish to explore the quality of Love called empathy. Empathy is a feeling that automatically comes into play in those who are centered within their heart rather than through the intellect and is a ‘soft’ but decisive knowing that the situation that another person is experiencing is very challenging and requires the enduring of conditions that no one would willingly and consciously choose to go through but nevertheless have found themselves in the midst of.

When the quality of empathy is engaged, the one who is going through challenging experiences feels the quality of understanding from the other person and the first person is empowered and uplifted by the intuitive level of comprehension in regards to what the first one is feeling and experiencing and who can easily relate to the commonality of that experience by the simple act of being able to put oneself in the other’s shoes. It requires a highly developed emotional intelligence to realize that what pains one person pains all others also.

In order to help alleviate the associated pain being experienced by one person, the simple act of being willing to explore the inner feelings by the first person will help to empower them to ‘keep on keeping on’. Many times, a kind word or gesture at the right time has uplifted the hearts of many people and has enabled them to go on and keep taking the steps in their individual lives that might not have happened otherwise.

Employing humor in the midst of challenging situations is another form of deep empathy, for there is an inherent knowing that things will always turn out for the best if one just keeps at it in perseverance. This humor on the part of the one who is empathic helps to alleviate the stress and anxiety that usually underlies the internal referencing of the person being challenged as they try to cope and come to terms with, their most trying of situations.

Those who take charge and volunteer themselves to be of physical service in whatever way that is most practically helpful to the ones in distress is another level of empathy in action and can quickly uplift the hearts of those who were feeling depressed, anxious or troubled, for knowing that someone else can relate to and understand their inner emotions and concerns about their situation by being willing to ‘walk their talk’ and then take the physical steps necessary to bring order into the life of the person being challenged.

Sometimes, all that is needed is the human touch, a hug, a gentle pat on the shoulders, a touch of the hands, is all that is needed to ease the pain and confusion of the one who is in a challenging situation. By doing this, the one who feels empathy is expressing Love and respect to the other and lets them know that they are not alone in their present experience. The inner self becomes empowered and uplifted by these outer demonstrations of inner understanding and they thereby regain their emotional balance and equilibrium to keep on putting one foot in front of the other in perseverance.

The quality of empathy is developed in one who has themselves been through similar challenges in their lives and who can remember and relate to the situations and the feelings of depression, hopelessness and worry being experienced by the one in this moment because they also went through these feelings in a critical time in their life. You all have lived in a World where experiencing the duality of opposites of expression has played a major part in your learning and integrating processes and you have all gained a high degree of empathy for those around you. Now is the time to bring this quality out into the open to uplift and empower the people around the World and in your own neighborhoods who are most definitely in need of it. Be the Beacons of Light, Love and empathy and express the radiance of your Divinity at all times.

FAQ's for Lightworkers

http://thegroundcrew.com/faqs.htm

Article of clarity from Valerie Donner

Upscale Abuse: "Are You Brave Enough to Leave An Abusive Marriage?"

Sharon Zarozny

Founder of Brilliant Exits, LLC.

Posted: March 19, 2011 04:33 AM

Are You Brave Enough to Leave an Abusive Marriage?

     It's hard to admit, and take action, when abuse happens in your marriage. My therapist was a saint, patiently listening to my story session after session, until finally one day she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "What's it going to take? Is he going to have to kill you?" That was my "aha" moment.

Problem was, I had a hard time seeing myself as a "victim." That was something that happened to others, not me. I'd landed in therapy because I was shell-shocked to learn my then husband had a mistress and "love" child. I was struggling with the "should I leave or should I stay" question while desperately trying to do all I could to save my marriage. Being raised Catholic, divorce was not in my plan. And, I was not ready to admit I'd chosen a man who abused me.

To put the shame of being a victim of domestic violence in perspective, the truth is I could tell people my ex-to-be had fathered a child with his mistress years before I could admit to physical abuse. In my mind, the child was his fault and the abuse was mine. To this day, I kind of mumble the words "abusive marriage." Sad thing is, I am not alone.

I've worked with many clients who are struggling with upscale abuse. Smart, educated, beautiful, gifted women who are shocked to piece together the fact they are in an abusive marriage. Most don't have the "victim" mentality and are mortified to find that yes, they are victims of domestic violence. These women succeed at most things, so it's excruciatingly painful that they can't make their marriage work.

Often they are married to powerful, high earning men. Many have given up promising careers at their spouse's unrelenting pressure. Compassionate moms, they do all they can to protect their children from the dad's emotional and/or physical abuse. They create beautiful homes, become a super volunteer, and do whatever they can to "make their husband look good." They are so busy they don't see how their spouse is slowly, but surely, chipping away at their soul.

Then one day they wake up and realize they can no longer perpetuate the "happily-ever-after" myth. Perhaps their spouse has had an affair, cut them off financially, grabbed them by the throat, or their survival instincts tell them they better make a plan to get out before it's too late.

When kids are involved, a new wrinkle is added. Many women (or men) stay to protect their children from time alone with an abusive parent. Others have extreme guilt at breaking up their family. What they don't realize is that it is exposure to conflict, and witnessing abuse, that harms children not divorce or losing a privileged lifestyle. When a child sees a parent get hit, yelled at or criticized the child unknowingly experiences it as something happening to him/her. So if you are staying for the children, studies show you are doing them more harm than good.

If you can identify, get a copy of Susan Weitzman's book Not To People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages or check outnottopeoplelikeus.com. Knowing you are not alone is so crucial to getting out. In your world that swirls with "unreals"  and craziness, you'll find this book/site a gift of validation. You'll know you are not crazy.

Also visit The Weitzman Center and download the free Care Kit provided. It too will help you understand and safely plan for when you are ready to get out. And plan you must. When you leave a high earning, narcissistic professional you can be in for quite a rough ride through the legal system. Often the upscale abuser has the means, power and leverage to hire a legal dream team and use the courts to further the abuse.

I know. My ex was a surgeon and Ivy League grad. He used our money to hire a bully of an attorney and his credentials gave him status in the Courts. That's a story for another day. In the meantime, visit these sites. If you can identify contact me (info@brilliantexits.com). We need to talk. You are not alone.

FYI: Not sure if you meet the criteria? Then take this test and call me in the morning: Upscale Abuse Test

Japan's Nuclear Disaster: Part of the Sad History of Humans Used

http://www.wanttoknow.info/humanguineapigs