MY WORK ... MY PASSION

• Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ; Past experiences: Dream Analysis /10 Years Experience •Psychotherapist / Use of Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies /10 Years Experience •EMDR • Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship • Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) / 21 years experience •Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant • Social Justice Advocate • Child and Human Rights Advocate • Spiritual Guide and Intuitive • Certified Reiki Practitioner • Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups • Parenting Workshops • Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children • International Training: Israel & England • Critical Incident Stress Debriefing • Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer

MSW - UNC Chapel Hill

BSW - UNC Greensboro


With immense love I wish Happy Birthday to my three grandchildren!

May 22: Brannock

May 30: Brinkley

June 12: Brogan

All three have birthdays in the same 22 days of the year ....what a busy time for the family!

"An Unending Love"

This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my precious daughter Jennifer, my grand daughters Brogan and Brinkley, and my grand son Brannock. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.




The Definition of Genius

"THRIVE"

https://youtu.be/Lr-RoQ24lLg

"ONLY LOVE PREVAILS" ...."I've loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more....."


As we are in the winter of our lives, I dedicate this to Andrew, Dr. John J.C. Jr. and Gary W., MD, (who has gone on before us). My love and admiration is unfathomable for each of you..........and what you have brought into this world.....so profoundly to me.
The metaphors are rich and provocative; we're in them now. This world is indeed disappearing, and the richest eternal world awaits us!
The intensity, as was in each of the three of us, is in yellow!
In my heart forever.........

Slowly the truth is loading
I'm weighted down with love
Snow lying deep and even
Strung out and dreaming of
Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world

We're threading hope like fire

Down through the desperate blood
Down through the trailing wire
Into the leafless wood

Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


I'll be sticking right there with it
I'll be by y
our side
Sailing like a silver bullet
Hit 'em 'tween the eyes
Through the smoke and rising water
Cross the great divide
Baby till it all feels right

Night falling on the city
Sparkling red and gold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This
disappearing world
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


TECHNOLOGY..........

In “Conversations with God”, by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a warning I think of. I refer to it as the Atlantis passage, and I've quoted it a few times before." As I have said, this isn't the first time your civilization has been at this brink,"

God tells Walsch. "I want to repeat this, because it is vital that you hear this. Once before on your planet, the technology you developed was far greater than your ability to use it responsibly. You are approaching the same point in human history again. It is vitally important that you understand this. Your present technology is threatening to outstrip your ability to use it wisely. Your society is on the verge of becoming a product of your technology rather than your technology being a product of your society. When a society becomes a product of its own technology, it destroys itself."

Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

"If You Want Kids to Fail, Stop Making Failure So Horrible" - The Week

I post this with a caveat to parents.  We have all observed the punitive, narcissistic parent who publicly excoriates 
their child(ten) at a game, meet, or other competition.  It is utterly humiliating and scarring to the child.
This type of parental behavior is NOT being encouraged here.  This is a deeper, more reflective look at the reason 
why all children need not win a ribbon in the same event (for example).

http://theweek.com/article/index/256927/if-you-want-kids-to-fail-stop-making-failure-so-horrible
 
Matt Bruenig
 
Matt Bruenig writes about poverty, inequality, and economic justice at Demos, Salon, The Atlantic, The American Prospect, and The Week. He is a Texas native and graduate of the University of Oklahoma.

U.S.
If you want kids to fail, stop making failure so horrible
Children can't be expected to take risks when the societal consequences are so crushing
PUBLISHED FEBRUARY 26, 2014, AT 10:06 AM

Much as we like to pretend otherwise, failure is likely.   Photo: (Thinkstock)

It is important that people take risks. Innovation depends on it.
That's the generic sentiment that sloshes around the cult of entrepreneurship and small business, a cult that has managed to seep into so much of our mainstream economic discourse. According to this sentiment, we need people out there doing novel things that will mostly fail but occasionally lead to significant breakthroughs that generate new goods, services, and processes that improve our lives.
In this vein, Megan McArdle has been pushing the importance of failure, and bemoaning cultural shifts away from taking failure-prone risks. In her estimation, children are being drilled into total conformity from a young age, steered by overly concerned parents toward high-success paths that leave little room for creative deviations from the norm. In the long run, McArdle suggests, this is bad for society because it will reduce innovation and the social benefits that flow from it.
But while McArdle somewhat glibly celebrates failure, the reality of deep failure in America is stark. Unlike elsewhere in the developed world, being at or near the bottom of American society entails extraordinary misery. Poverty, food insecurity, homelessness, instability, and a general lack of a livable social floor means that the consequences of truly failing in the U.S. are rather horrific.
Curiously, the problem of failure's harshness gets scarce attention from supposedly risk-loving conservatives. Instead, we are usually treated to lectures about how important it is that we deliver massive rewards to the handful of people who take the failure-prone risk and manage to make it through successfully. Such rewards must be on offer, we are told, to incentivize people to bear such extreme risks.
This policy advice ignores a huge part of the puzzle. To incentivize people to try out a failure-prone innovative path, you can either increase the rewards to doing so or decrease the risks associated with doing so. You can increase the jackpot that winners get, or decrease the misery losers suffer. To the extent that people and parents are reasonably averse to risking the possibility of winding up on the bottom of our society, the solution to the problem of conformist drilling lies in reducing inequality, poverty, and economic insecurity so that the economic bottom is a much more comfortable place to be.
Despite the attractive logic of this pro-innovation argument for egalitarianism, we are often told the exact opposite is true. The most sophisticated version of this argument admits that the relatively egalitarian social democracies of Europe do have respectable levels of economic growth, but insists that it is because they are piggybacking off of the innovation of less egalitarian countries like the U.S. That is, cutthroat capitalism in the U.S. is where the real innovation is, while cuddly capitalism in Scandanavian countries just rides on America's coattails.
As clever as this all sounds, respected indices of competitiveness and innovation do not support it. For instance, as Lane Kenworthy points out, the World Economic Forum's Global Competitiveness Index ranked Sweden and Finland the two most innovative nations from 2012-2013. Innovation is an extremely difficult thing to perfectly measure, but these studies suggest that innovation is indeed compatible with the kind of egalitarian social systems popular in the Nordic countries.
If fear of failure is causing parents and children to cut out socially necessary doses of innovation-generating risk, then we should act to make that fear less potent. Cajoling parents to sacrifice their kids into the maw of poverty for the greater good won't do. Instead, we should construct high economic floors, low inequality, and iron-clad economic security.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Everybody Fails" by Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and
Licensed Psychologist.  He is available for coaching in any area
presented in "Practical Life Coaching" (formerly "Practical
Psychology").  Initial coaching sessions are free.  


http://lists.webvalence.com/listmgr/subscribe?lists=practical_life_coaching

EVERYBODY FAILS

By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

       Someone once said, "The road to success is paved with failures."
Failure begins when the baby tries to crawl, stand, walk and run.  It
continues whenever anybody attempts something new that s/he has never
done before.  Rarely does anybody succeed at something new without
making mistakes (failures) along the way.  Those attempts and failures
we call a "learning curve."

       Michael Gersham, in his book, "Getting It Right The Second Time,"
writes of forty-nine product failures.  Among these were Kleenex,
Jell-O, and Pepsi, the opera "Carmen," the book "The Celestine
Prophecy," and forty-four others.  Walt Disney went bankrupt...five
times.  Now that is a lot of failure.

               The original Greek word for "sin" was an old archer's term,
"hamartia," which means to "miss the mark."  When we miss the mark, we
sin.  Does this mean we, as human beings are all "sinners?"  Are we
all failures?  No.  It means we all regularly miss the mark.  In the
Olympics, all but one miss the gold.  Are all those other athletes
failures?  Are they sinners?  Only if we judge them to be so.  Only if
they judge themselves to be so.

       Great baseball batting averages are above .300.  That means six out
of ten times, the best players fail to get to first base.  Now that is
a lot of failure!  Or is it?  Only if we judge them to be so.  By the
time football's "Super Bowl" is over, every team in the NFL has missed
the mark of winning all their games ...at least once.  Does that mean
every player in the NFL is a failure?  Only if we judge them to be so.

       In his book, "Should You Quit Before You're Fired?," Paul Pilzer
tells the story of a father observing his little boy throwing a
baseball up in the air with one hand, then swinging his bat to hit it.
 The boy missed three times in a row.  After the third time, he spun
around and fell to the ground shouting, "Strike three, I'm out."
Trying to hide his disappointment, the father ran over to help his son
up.  Before he "failed" to get to him, the boy jumped up and said,
"So, what do you think?  Not bad for a pitcher, huh, Dad?!"  To his
son, three misses out of three attempts was not a lot of failure.  Or
was it?

       Failure is a judgment.  It's definition is based upon a verb...to
fail, which means "to fall short of success in something expected,
attempted, desired."  In order to avoid failing, many people never
expect anything, never risk attempting anything new, sometimes never
desire anything.  Their own fear of being judged "a failure" leads
them to never attempt anything without a guaranteed successful
outcome.  And in life, there are no guaranteed outcomes!
Consequently, those people who are fearful of criticism or "failure"
never attempt anything, and the outcome is precisely the same as if
they had tried and missed their mark...failure.  If the archer never
shoots the arrow, he never ever hits anything, let alone the target.
Is it a greater "sin" to miss the mark having shot the arrow, or is it
more "sinful" to have never drawn back the bow?

       Rather than never attempting anything, perhaps the fearful need to
change their expectations.  Band leader, Les Brown once said, "Always
shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you land among the Stars."
Perhaps we need to fail at judging ourselves to be failures.  Perhaps
we should not judge ourselves at all.

       When we stop judging ourselves as failures, we are set free to enjoy
life.  We all miss the marks we set for ourselves.  Perhaps the
greatest target for psychological health is to take delight in being
alive, in being who we are no matter how often we "miss the mark."
You are a failure or success only if you say so!

       We all find goals useful in focusing our attention.  We are all free
to create and change our goals.  Keep in mind we all fail depending
only on our perceived goal and judgment.  Failure and success are
states of mind.  They exist only if you mentally say so.  And we are
each free to choose whether or not we say so.

       One key to happiness is to enjoy the process of living, to take
delight in playing the game regardless of the outcome.  Choose to
actively enjoy the challenges of the life-long game called "Life."
Keep in mind, as long as you are alive, you cannot fail unless you
choose to.  Success or failure in living is always your choice.


"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"