MY WORK ... MY PASSION

• Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ; Past experiences: Dream Analysis /10 Years Experience •Psychotherapist / Use of Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies /10 Years Experience •EMDR • Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship • Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) / 21 years experience •Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant • Social Justice Advocate • Child and Human Rights Advocate • Spiritual Guide and Intuitive • Certified Reiki Practitioner • Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups • Parenting Workshops • Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children • International Training: Israel & England • Critical Incident Stress Debriefing • Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer

MSW - UNC Chapel Hill

BSW - UNC Greensboro


With immense love I wish Happy Birthday to my three grandchildren!

May 22: Brannock

May 30: Brinkley

June 12: Brogan

All three have birthdays in the same 22 days of the year ....what a busy time for the family!

"An Unending Love"

This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my precious daughter Jennifer, my grand daughters Brogan and Brinkley, and my grand son Brannock. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.




The Definition of Genius

"THRIVE"

https://youtu.be/Lr-RoQ24lLg

"ONLY LOVE PREVAILS" ...."I've loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more....."


As we are in the winter of our lives, I dedicate this to Andrew, Dr. John J.C. Jr. and Gary W., MD, (who has gone on before us). My love and admiration is unfathomable for each of you..........and what you have brought into this world.....so profoundly to me.
The metaphors are rich and provocative; we're in them now. This world is indeed disappearing, and the richest eternal world awaits us!
The intensity, as was in each of the three of us, is in yellow!
In my heart forever.........

Slowly the truth is loading
I'm weighted down with love
Snow lying deep and even
Strung out and dreaming of
Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world

We're threading hope like fire

Down through the desperate blood
Down through the trailing wire
Into the leafless wood

Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


I'll be sticking right there with it
I'll be by y
our side
Sailing like a silver bullet
Hit 'em 'tween the eyes
Through the smoke and rising water
Cross the great divide
Baby till it all feels right

Night falling on the city
Sparkling red and gold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This
disappearing world
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


TECHNOLOGY..........

In “Conversations with God”, by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a warning I think of. I refer to it as the Atlantis passage, and I've quoted it a few times before." As I have said, this isn't the first time your civilization has been at this brink,"

God tells Walsch. "I want to repeat this, because it is vital that you hear this. Once before on your planet, the technology you developed was far greater than your ability to use it responsibly. You are approaching the same point in human history again. It is vitally important that you understand this. Your present technology is threatening to outstrip your ability to use it wisely. Your society is on the verge of becoming a product of your technology rather than your technology being a product of your society. When a society becomes a product of its own technology, it destroys itself."

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Coping with Isolation In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship





Isolation is the number #1 tool of emotional abuse, withholding is the #2 tool.


This is where it all begins...and most women (because they are the primary gender abused for many reasons) never see it coming, yet everyone around them is capable of seeing it.  Well...almost everyone. That depends on where on the continuum the emotional abuse is.  I.E., if "the people all around them" have already been weaned down by the controlling spouse. The very objective in this lenghty, subtle, passive-aggressive process is to assure that the victim doesn't notice it. 


This in itself is not terribly difficult especially if the wife is not working...her perspective becomes narrowed down to child-care and housekeeping. The isolation  is also implemented by moving to an area which, due to its own culture, is not challenging to the woman. The abusive spouse will do anything to keep her "out of the mix" of spiritually and intellectually stimulating people.  Generally, the abusive spouse will do much to avoid further education of his partner, because of his own insecurities. The real truth is that the man is generally terrified to have his partner become "all that she can be", since his own confidence is low.  Often, the abusive spouse "looks" different than he really is.  On the surface, he may be charming, well-employed, have monied family, but he really wants the "trophy" wife and children, so that they can proclaim his "identified value" to the circle of people he creates...again no one who ever challenges him is included in his circle...where his impoverishment is not so obvious.


As an example, I know a woman, who after a years-long grooming by the husband, was not allowed to go to her  brother's wedding in another state, 'because we don't have any money for things like that".  The knowledge that the husband had over two million dollars in assets failed to register in her brain...and to connect with how very little a plane ticket or gas would have been so that she could attend. Years later, she was outraged...mostly at herself...when she finally "connected".  Then, she could say what she would have done in that moment, should the same event occur again. For many years she was sad about thtIt all begins, of course, with a power/control structure, mostly noticed by seeing otherwise strong, bright and capable women becoming depressed and anxious, more controlling themselves, perhaps drinking more, and trying harder and harder each day to be the perfect, trophy wife...the perfect mother.

How to Recognize and Cope with the Isolation in an Abusive Relationship

Isolation is one of the mechanisms used to create and maintain domination of one person over another.
Evolution of Isolation in Abusive Relationships
It often evolves so gradually that you don’t realize it’s happening until you wake-up one day and notice you have few friends of your own, and your contact with your own family has vanished. Now the funny thing is that as your icy isolation is being groomed, you’re conditioned to believe that it is “good for you.” (There’s that conditioning, again.)
You’re told things like this person is not worthy of your company, that person is undesirable to your partner, another poses a threat to your relationship. People who may have different views than your partner, especially one which are healthier than his, are targeted by the spouse for "long-term removal". The most welcome in your life, as determined by the emotionally abusing spouse, are those which do not encourage your growth, and those who do not challenge you for your highest good.  The abuser does not want you to grow mentally and emotionally, because that threatens his own impoverished ego. To him, there are as many reasons for you not to have people in your life, other than your partner, as there were people in you life, before the abusive relationship.


Another insidious strategy from the abusive spouse regards the parents and family of both partners...only the parents who represent the same dysfunction as in himself, are welcomed into his family.  Any parent who represents challenge for a higher good, independence, individuation, etc., will, over time be sorted "out of the mix".
And when you internalize your partner’s perception of his/her preferences with respect to the people being walled out of your life, you are rewarded by the partner. Sometimes this reward maybe in the form of a positive gesture by him. Or, it may present as the absence of a previously negative spill of verbal emotional abuse when you failed to comply with the walling off of this particular person.
How This Isolation Serves Your Partner.
There are several ways in which your isolation serves your partner and helps maintain the abuse in your relationship.
a) Your isolation creates a relationship climate of dependence, as there are no other adults in your personal orbit other than your partner.
b) Your isolation creates an exterior shield of silence regarding the abuse in your home.
c) Your isolation serves to silence you from yourself with respect to your abusive relationship.
What You Can Do to Overcome Icy Isolation in an Abusive Relationship.
If you are in an abusive relationship, the “other” people falling out of your personal orbit may very well be your first tip-off that something is not right at home. When you notice yourself participating in the narrowing of your personal social or family circle, take a hard and honest look at all of the defining characteristics of abusive relationships.
If your relationship has progressed and you see yourself in many ways “stuck” or merely trying to work things out with your partner, make a personal commitment to yourself to always keep open at least one channel of contact with someone near and dear, even if you have to do so secretly. This person could be your lifeline in a time of need.

For more information about the dynamics of abusive relationships, visit http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com  and claim your free Survivor Success Tips & eInsights. If you want to know all of the defining characteristics of abusive relationships, see the Intimate Partner Abuse Screen. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. ©2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"