Just touching base.....and, thank you!

Good morning!  I want to express my thanks to my readers, and even more, for your input. As you may have surmised, narcissism is unfortunately becoming more and more "mainstream" in this culture. While we know that everyone has to have some healthy narcissism, or one could not even effectively and confidently apply for a position, there is an abundance of malignant narcissism today.  Theorists posit that our culture is now largely narcissistic.  Their contentions are logical, and I happen to agree based on the criteria they present.

Mostly evident in males, and with greater and greater appearance in mid and late teens (even though technically it cannot be diagnosed until 18), many readers are concerned that this disorder is becoming the "new normal". No studies regarding narcissism disprove that belief. However, I leave you all to your own research.

What is more important is that we all learn how to recognize this condition, because while it initially may present in a person as a thoroughly desirable personality, it is one in which the individual is extremely cunning, cruel, and exploitative.  While they can appear completely repentant as life with that person rolls along, the fact is that it is always about them.  If they appear to be devoted to your wishes, it is because that facade is designed to get them what they want. Thus, it is still, and always, about them.

You readers have suggested some readings about the Stockholm Syndrome, almost always suffered by spouses and children of the narcissist. This is appreciated input.  Yet that leaves me with an ambivalence.  Ambivalence as to whether I "go with the flow" of my readers, in this particular case. I do not, in any case, wish to be a blog solely about narcissism.  However, I am deeply convinced that most people "cannot see it coming", i.e. it is a complex personality disorder.

That leads to the danger of centering on narcissists, and their incredibly toxic presence in anyone's life. (Their ultimate dream scenario!)  Yet, more information all around this personality certainly cannot hurt. We all have some of these traits, or we would not even begin to successfully apply for a job, or confidently give presentations in our field. However, there is a line in the sand where narcissistic people cross over into the realm where they are absolutely "dangerous to your health".  If one adds to that diagnosis traits of sadism, the damage to those people (spouses, friends, children) around the narcissist may be extreme.  One might compare it to swimming in a peaceful, but putrescent pool.

So, bear with me readers.  I will post articles I hope will give some depth to more understanding of this toxic and dangerously virulent disorder.

I hope all of you are enjoying the last throes of pre-holiday celebration.  Breathe, relax and enjoy.  Gratitude is in order!

Madelaine

How to Spot a Narcissist | World of Psychology

CLICK TO READ: How to Spot a Narcissist | World of Psychology

Excerpt from the Waldorf Parents' Forum

The Waldorf Parent's Forum

This forum is intended as a place where Waldorf parents can learn and discuss ways to support each other, their children, their child's class and teachers, and their Waldorf school. Content will be moderated by Ms. Ilian Willwerth, a trained Waldorf teacher with 30 years experience in the classroom.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

The Choleric Child

Full of fiery energy, the choleric child is often the one that parents and teachers find the most challenging to work with. They are thin skinned, quick to outbursts of emotion. People around them often experience them as intense, oppositional or angry. What, the adults who care for them ask, is going on inside these children? What can we do to control and help them?

Fire is the element of the choleric child. Like the phlegmatic child, the choleric child has an active metabolism. But unlike the Phlegmatic child whose energy is stored for later use, the choleric child's energy is expressed as heat and activity. Parents might find it difficult to keep clothes on this child. Teachers frequently observe beeswax crayons melting in this child's hands as she works. Whatever grabs the imagination of the choleric child is pursued with vigor, and when roused, her temper may flare suddenly. However, like a fire, if the emotion or effort is not fed, it will quickly die out, leaving nothing but the ashes of that which inspired it. If the choleric child, roused to sudden anger, is left alone until the emotion has run its course, she will likely have difficulty remembering what exactly sparked the outburst. Similarly, the choleric child, inspired with an idea, will embark vigorously on a project. But if she does not meet success and encouragement, she will quickly become discouraged and lose interest.

It is this quick rise and fall of emotions and interests, and the intensity surrounding the choleric child that parents and teachers, and even other children find challenging to face. Take, however, a step back and really observe this child of fire, because when he feels understood, you will have a loyal ally and friend.

Like the wood and coal that fuels a fire, the body of the choleric child, particularly the limbs, often appears sturdy and thick, but not soft. When he walks, his feet land firmly on the ground, and he is likely to wear out the heels of his shoes before he outgrows them. He takes pride in his strength and physical capabilities and loves to test them out against his friends in a variety of physical challenges from throwing a baseball to wrestling and fighting. You might find that the choleric child enjoys spicy foods, dislikes being wet, speaks loudly, and focuses intensely on a single thing, though he can't sustain the focus over a prolonged period. For this reason both baseball and football are good sports for this child with their alternating periods of intense activity and relative inaction.

Like the fire's flame, the choleric child is quick and forceful and mobile in his thinking and emotions. This can be either scary and destructive, or heartwarming, and creative. It is all a matter of proper channeling. The choleric child tends to act first and ask questions later, and often does not have a realistic concept of his effect on those around him. He will be the inspiration for action and will be the hardest worker in the group at the beginning, but will not have the patience to sustain an ongoing activity or project. Although he may not be what is usually considered a "good team player", he is necessary to a team to spark ideas and get projects off the ground. He works very well alone as well, especially when given a task with a clear goal and ending point. It is not hard work that the choleric finds difficult to face; it is the inability to see the conclusion, the culmination of the effort.

How then to manage your fiery child? Give her hard, useful, responsible work with clear beginnings and endings. Let your child chop wood, tend the fire, carry bags, and dig the garden. Give her household jobs whose results are immediately visible, such as putting things away (especially if some heavy lifting is included). All you need to do is say, "I need someone strong..." and your choleric child will volunteer.
Inevitably, though, there will be explosions of temper from time to time when your child's efforts are thwarted, or she feels unappreciated. During an outburst, the only effective thing you can do is put the child somewhere where she is safe, and others are not affected by her outbursts. It helps to have a designated place for your child to be during an outburst, such as her room. In time she will send herself there to ride out the storm of emotion. During this time it is best not to interact with the child at all, if possible. No matter what offenses pour from the child during this time, it is best not to engage, but to let the fire burn itself out. Once the fire has cooled and only the glowing embers remain, you can speak with the child, listen to her, help her achieve some perspective, and reintegrate her into the society of her family. She may very well be embarrassed by the event, and even reluctant to leave the room, having become quite self-conscious about her recent behavior. If you can get the family to act as if nothing happened, or, better yet, get the child to laugh, all will be well. Of course, if your child caused some sort of hurt or destruction, retribution must be made. But if you wait until your child has regained her equilibrium, she will be able to see the fairness of it, and the apology and retribution will come from the heart. Later your child may remember clearly how angry she was, but may not be able to pinpoint just exactly how that came to be. The memory of the event was burned up in the explosion - but any consequences she suffered will remain with her and help to guide her the next time.

Ode to Joy - Flash Mob Started by One Little Girl

And it will always be:  that all working as ONE create the symphony of life!

Musical Interruption - Carol Of The Bells - Must See Christmas Video!

The Fractal Brain Theory & the Unification of Neuroscience with AI & Psychology - YouTube

"This Fractal Brain Theory, is the key to Artificial Intelligence and the Technological Singularity. This Theory will have immediate consequences initially in the worlds of Science and Technology, but will then impact dramatically on the Social, Political & Economic realms.

Furthermore the Fractal Brain Theory also holds the key to explaining the nature of Consciousness. Wai will show that the reason why contemporary philosophers and neuroscientists haven't been able to find the answer is because they are asking the wrong question by assuming that consciousness reduces to the physical brain. He will explain how the physical brain and the entire illusory physical universe reduces ultimately to One consciousness that may be called God. Thus revealing explicitly and in some detail the biggest secret and ultimate truth behind World history; i.e. that the mystery of Consciousness and the mystery of God are really one and same. And so the God in the Gaps, that science hasn't yet explained, i.e. Brain, Mind & Consciousness; was where the True God of Esoteric Religion, was waiting to be discovered and revealed all along. i.e. The Christ within, Krishna within, Buddha within, Allah closer to you than your Jugular Vein etc.

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

Stop Traumatizing Yourself by Watching the News | Psychology Today

"Most people fill their heads with images of death and destruction every day by following "the news." Profound anxiety results, and you may not even know it's caused by your news habit. You may think you must follow "the news" to be a good person. Consider the possibility that....."   

CLICK TO READ REST OF ARTICLE

Stockholm Syndrome | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network

"Described as a victim’s emotional “bonding” with their abuser, Stockholm Syndrome was given its name following a hostage situation in Stockholm, Sweden when, following the end of a bank robbery, the hostages identified with and supported their captor...."

(This phenomenon exists frequently in marriages and similar relationships, when there is emotional and verbal abuse, gaslighting and chronic severe demeaning. Trying to understand what is really happening often saves the victim and the children,)


CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE...

DC Voted to Legalize Marijuana. Congress Should Not Overrule It. | The Nation

CLICK HERE TO READ...

Connecting the science of mind, brain, and spirit with perspectives from the Institute of Noetic Sciences.

"Is consciousness generated by the activity of the brain or is it a fundamental property of the universe? The IONS research team has been studying this question for several years using various kinds of optical systems. Our latest experiments, published recently in the journal Physics Essays, confirm our earlier findings. This line of research suggests that consciousness may play a key role in how the physical world manifests.....

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING ARTICLE

A Gift from Thich Nhat Hanh to All of Us | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

"The most recent update from Plum Village shows that while his condition is still in a critical stage he has opened his eyes and even reached out to touch the attendant next to him. In continuing this time of honoring his life I wanted to share with you one of the gifts he has given..." CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Barbara Spradling (Wilson's new wife): 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know | Heavy.com

Spradling alleged to have strong ties to KKK....

Barbara Spradling: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know | Heavy.com

Justice Scalia Explains What Was Wrong With The Ferguson Grand Jury | ThinkProgress

Justice Scalia Explains What Was Wrong With The Ferguson Grand Jury | ThinkProgress

Unorthodox police procedures emerge in grand jury documents - The Washington Post

Unorthodox police procedures emerge in grand jury documents - The Washington Post

Read Darren Wilson's full grand jury testimony - The Washington Post

Read Darren Wilson's full grand jury testimony - The Washington Post

Unorthodox police procedures emerge in grand jury documents - The Washington Post

IMPORTANT EVIDENTIARY DISCLOSURES: Unorthodox police procedures emerge in grand jury documents - The Washington Post

Experts Weigh Officer’s Decisions Leading to Fatal Shooting of Michael Brown: They say "NO!" - NYTimes.com

Experts Weigh Officer’s Decisions Leading to Fatal Shooting of Michael Brown - NYTimes.com

Shocking mistake in Darren Wilson grand jury | MSNBC

Shocking mistake in Darren Wilson grand jury | MSNBC

Why didn't Darren Wilson retreat and wait for back-up, former police chiefs say, as they insist he did not have to shoot Michael Brown | Daily Mail Online

Why didn't Darren Wilson retreat and wait for back-up, former police chiefs say, as they insist he did not have to shoot Michael Brown  | Daily Mail Online

Darren Wilson and the violent confrontation with his wife's ex-lover: Court documents reveal volatile home life of officer who shot Michael Brown - which grand jury was never told of | Daily Mail Online

CLICK THIS TO READ! Darren Wilson and the violent confrontation with his wife's ex-lover: Court documents reveal volatile home life of officer who shot Michael Brown - which grand jury was never told of | Daily Mail Online