"Ever since my dad tried to convince me to meditate when I was about 12, I’ve been fairly skeptical of this practice. It always seemed to be so vague and hard to understand that I just decided it wasn’t for me.
More recently, I’ve actually found how simple (not easy, but simple) meditation can be and what huge...."CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING...
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Thursday, January 1, 2015
The Anti-Resolution That Could Change Your Life | Psychology Today
"There are many good reasons not to make New Years Resolutions. For one, we know from personal experience and from depressing statistics that they are highly likely to fail. The act of making grand resolutions every year, it turns out, isn’t always the best way to make positive and lasting changes. More often it just leaves us feeling frustrated and disappointed in ourselves....."CLICK TO CONTINUE
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
THE DULUTH WHEELS re:abuses (USED UNIVERSALLY)
WHEEL GALLERY
Thank you for your interest in Power and Control Wheel and other wheels developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs (DAIP). We invite you to download any of the wheels linked to here and use them to inform and educate your staff, clients and partners.
Because DAIP supports its work through training and curriculum sales, we produce using the wheels, which are copyrighted, in any revenue-generating activity. Please let us know if you have questions about using the wheels. Email -training@theduluthmodel.org
FAQs About the Wheels
Why was the Power and Control Wheel created?
In 1984, staff at the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (DAIP) began developing curricula for groups for men who batter and victims of domestic violence. We wanted a way to describe battering for victims, offenders, practitioners in the criminal justice system and the general public. Over several months, we convened focus groups of women who had been battered. We listened to heart-wrenching stories of violence, terror and survival. After listening to these stories and asking questions, we documented the most common abusive behaviors or tactics that were used against these women. The tactics chosen for the wheel were those that were most universally experienced by battered women.
Why did you call it the Power and Control Wheel?
Why did you call it the Power and Control Wheel?
Battering is one form of domestic or intimate partner violence. It is characterized by the pattern of actions that an individual uses to intentionally control or dominate his intimate partner. That is why the words "power and control" are in the center of the wheel. A batterer systematically uses threats, intimidation, and coercion to instill fear in his partner. These behaviors are the spokes of the wheel. Physical and sexual violence holds it all together—this violence is the rim of the wheel.
Why isn’t the Power and Control Wheel gender neutral?
The Power and Control Wheel represents the lived experience of women who live with a man who beats them. It does not attempt to give a broad understanding of all violence in the home or community but instead offers a more precise explanation of the tactics men use to batter women. We keep our focus on women’s experience because the battering of women by men continues to be a significant social problem--men commit 86 to 97 percent of all criminal assaults and women are killed 3.5 times more often than men in domestic homicides1.
When women use violence in an intimate relationship, the context of that violence tends to differ from men. First, men’s use of violence against women is learned and reinforced through many social, cultural and institutional avenues, while women’s use of violence does not have the same kind of societal support. Secondly, many women who do use violence against their male partners are being battered. Their violence is primarily used to respond to and resist the controlling violence being used against them. On the societal level, women’s violence against men has a trivial effect on men compared to the devastating effect of men’s violence against women.
Battering in same-sex intimate relationships has many of the same characteristics of battering in heterosexual relationships, but happens within the context of the larger societal oppression of same-sex couples. Resources that describe same-sex domestic violence have been developed by specialists in that field such as The Northwest Network of Bi, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse, www.nwnetwork.org
Making the Power and Control Wheel gender neutral would hide the power imbalances in relationships between men and women that reflect power imbalances in society. By naming the power differences, we can more clearly provide advocacy and support for victims, accountability and opportunities for change for offenders, and system and societal changes that end violence against women.
Why did you create the Equality Wheel?
The Equality Wheel was developed not to describe equality per se, but to describe the changes needed for men who batter to move from being abusive to non-violent partnership. For example, the "emotional abuse" segment on the Power and Control Wheel is contrasted with the “respect” segment on the Equality Wheel. So the wheels can be used together as a way to identify and explore abuse, then encourage non-violent change.
Has the wheel been translated into different languages?
Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs has translated the wheel into Spanish. And, the wheel has been translated by many others worldwide. The wheel has also been adapted culturally, such as the wheel adapted by Mending the Sacred Hoop to reflect some of the tactics a Native American batterer might use against his intimate partner to control her.
Can I use or adapt the wheels?
Our wheels are copyrighted. They may be used in men's educational classes, groups for battered women or community education presentations as long as they are credited to the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project as noted on the wheels. For other uses, please submit a written request explaining the desired use and purpose to our National Training Project staff.
Programs wishing to adapt the wheels in any way should submit a written request to our National Training Project staff, explaining the desired use and purpose. In making our decision, we will look at how the adapted wheel reflects power imbalances between abusers and victims, if the segments have been carefully reviewed and edited and whether a wheel would be the most effective learning tools for the adaptor’s purpose. In addition, it is important that the content of the wheel come from focus groups with those experiencing the abuse. Requests are considered on a case by case basis.
Our National Training Project staff may be contacted at training@theduluthmodel.org.
How is the Power and Control Wheel used?
The wheel is used in many settings and can be found in manuals, books, articles, and on the walls of agencies that seek to prevent domestic violence. It has even been seen by millions on national television shows and soap operas!
Many women’s groups use the Power and Control Wheel. Battered women can point to each of the tactics on the wheel and clearly explain how these behaviors were used against them. They are able to see that they are not alone in their experience and more fully understand how their batterer could exert such control over them.
The wheel is also used in counseling and education groups for men who batter to help group participants identify the tactics they use. By seeing that their behavior is not atypical for men who batter, there is an impetus (for those who are motivated to change) to explore the beliefs that contribute to their behavior. The Power and Control Wheel is used in concert with the Equality Wheel to help group participants see alternate ways of being in a relationship with a woman, free of violence and controlling behavior.
The wheel is also used in a variety of settings to describe battering. For instance, in training for law enforcement or prosecutors, the wheel provides an explanation for why a victim might return to an abusive spouse or why victim is refusing to cooperate in a criminal prosecution.
The wheel makes the pattern, intent and impact of violence visible.
Can I purchase a poster-size version of the wheels?
Yes! Click here for our poster-size wheels.
AVAILABLE WHEELS (downloadable PDF):
Thursday, December 25, 2014
A MUST LISTEN!! "Let's Pretend" from "SAVE THE CHILDREN" - Michael Crawford
This has been my favorite Christmas carol for the past 25 years...and it is more relevant than ever. Each time I listen to it. I get tears in my eyes. And I listen to it so many times!! While it sounds like an unimaginable dream...and game...each of us has the profound gift of being able to so something to make this happen.
Michael Crawford's album is always the first to be played every year.... its seeming simplicity is tenderly "transparent" in it's passion for change. It is a call to parents, teachers, and those dedicated to the welfare and growth of children.
It is dedicated to every child...everywhere in the world...our children and grandchildren...and neighbor kids!! I post the lyrics below, and in the video, you will become aware of Crawford's passion and global creative work for our children...it is palpable.
It is dedicated to every child...everywhere in the world...our children and grandchildren...and neighbor kids!! I post the lyrics below, and in the video, you will become aware of Crawford's passion and global creative work for our children...it is palpable.
“LET’S PRETEND”
(from the Michael Crawford’s globally acclaimed musical “Save the Children”, 1988)
Let’s pretend that we can change the world in any way that we could…
Just as a game, let’s pretend.
Let’s pretend there came a time when people would do nothing but good,
And that it never would end.
Just imagine!!
Let’s pretend that everywhere injustices will cease in the world
I know it’s crazy, but try.
Let’s pretend that all at once one morning there was peace in the world,
And not one child had to cry.
If people don’t like our dream when we’re through,
We’ll pretend that people do, then they’d believe that it all will come true!
Let’s pretend that there is love all around!
Every child on earth grows up safe and sound!
Imagine it!!
Let’s pretend that children all start to ask for the moon!
It’s a children’s game, all the same…..
Children grow up soon.
It’s a children’s game, all the same…..
Children grow up soon.
Children grow up soon.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
For those who love clouds ~ from Spaceweather
POLAR STRATOSPHERIC CLOUDS: A possible outbreak of polar stratospheric clouds (PMCs) is underway around the Arctic Circle. Unlike normal grey-white clouds, which hug Earth's surface at altitudes of only 5 to 10 km, PMCs float through the stratosphere (25 km) and they are fantastically colorful. Ivar Marthinusen sends this picture of the phenonenon from Skedsmokorset, Norway:
"Right after sunset on Dec. 22nd, the clouds were so bright they were uncomfortable to look at directly," says Marthinusen.
Also known as "nacreous" or "mother of pearl" clouds, these icy structures form in the lower stratosphere when temperatures drop to around minus 85ºC. Sunlight shining through tiny ice particles ~10µm across produce the characteristic bright iridescent colors by diffraction and interference. Once thought to be mere curiosities, some PMCs are now known to be associated with the destruction of ozone.
"Nacreous clouds far outshine and have much more vivid colours than ordinary iridescent clouds, which are very much poor relations and seen frequently all over the world," writes atmospheric optics expert Les Cowley. "Once seen they are never forgotten." |
Monday, December 22, 2014
"The Original 7 Signs You Are An Empath" ~ by Isabella Snow
The Original 7 Signs Youre An Empath
Just to update this article a bit: When I wrote this information about Empaths, it was pretty much the only internet site that had anything written on the topic at all. It's now become a commonly discussed subject, and I'm glad for that. Before I get into the nitty gritty, let me first say that the term Empath is not simply another name for a Clairsentient, though many Clairsentients are indeed Empaths. I’ll get into this more later. That said, if you feel that you’re a clairsentient and are looking for similar information, most of these signs will apply to you as well, but be aware those born into clairsentience (as opposed to those born as Empaths, who later harness it and become clairsentient) can often discern what others are feeling, but do not actually suffer – which is a good way of telling which you are. Once you've figured out that this is what you are, you can then learn how to deal with, and eventually prevent, this kind of thing from overwhelming you.
More of my Empath Articles!
1. When in public, do you constantly feel overwhelmed with inexplicable emotions for which you can’t determine the reason?
Example. You drop by the mall one Saturday morning. You feel great. You get into the mall, walk past a crowd of people -- and start feeling a bit strangely. It can be anything; you can feel very down, very angry, very sad, very excitable. (The key word here is very.) And you won’t have any explanation for it, you'll just feel it. In other words, you’ve suddenly gone Bi-Polar without actually having the biological deficiency that causes it. And what’s worse, you can’t turn it off. You can carry on, trying to ignore it, but eventually it will be so overwhelming to the point you just want to go home and be alone. This is the reality of an Empath – one who hasn’t yet learned how to block other people’s emotions out. Being around other people is such a harrowing experience that most of them prefer to keep their own company, living the life of a hermit. And they usually find it very much worth it.
2. Do you experience other people's physical ailments?
This is most common with those you have an emotional connection with, but can occur with anyone. A very good example of this would be suddenly feeling very lethargic and fatigued for no reason, and having to remain in bed for a day or two. You’re not sick – not really. You’re not ill. Yet, you feel that you are. Profoundly. You later find out that your “illness” coincided with a lover or family member’s sudden fatigue (resulting from legitimate illness) even though they were in another country at the time and you had no idea until after the fact. Symptoms can also manifest in the form of chest pains, cramps, migraines, etc. You basically experience it all, without contracting the actual illness.
3. Do you feel overwhelmed when watching something horrible in real life or even on television?
This one sounds silly, but viewing the news or depressing commercials designed to induce sympathy and open wallets can debilitate an Empath for several hours. While most people get upset over homeless dogs and cats, an Empath will often feel like their hearts have been lanced. That’s a literal definition, by the way. It’s not something as shallow as sympathy or even ordinary empathy. It’s a feeling of guilt and moral empathy that cannot be easily assuaged. Crying is very common, and not just during that time of month when all the emotions are out of whack!
4. Do you ALWAYS know what someone really means?
In other words, can you always, always, always tell what it is someone meant to say to you? More importantly, can you tell why they didn’t? If an Empath is face to face with someone and has just been lied to -- they will know. And they will know why. They will know if the other person is trying to spare feelings; they will know if malice was involved. In other words, they will know the intent. You cannot lie in the face of an Empath and not be caught out. While they will not often be able to suss the specifics of what you’re hiding, they will know if you mean them well or not. No exceptions. This is more than good intuition and this isn’t a hunch; this is knowing.
Tools For Empaths
5. Do you feel compelled to care for anyone in pain, no matter who they are and what they’ve done to you?
A true Empath cannot walk past someone suffering and not feel a need to stop and help that person. Homeless people can be particularly difficult, as they are everywhere and little can be done to help them unless the Empath has an occupation related to this. A true Empath feels compelled to go to anyone they feel pain from, be it angst or something physical. And a true Empath's compassion will usually be accepted on the spot: People in pain, regardless of how they might normally react to strangers, will receive an Empath with open arms. They know instinctively that their pain matters to them.
6. Do people open up to you – even if you don’t want them to?
Some Empaths are the new-agey peace-loving types who want to hold hands with everyone, but many just want to be alone because they have difficulty processing everything they absorb from other people. (This is usually because they have yet to realize their abilities and haven’t learned to deal with it yet.) For an Empath, however, putting on a grumpy face doesn't keep people they barely know from drawing near and seeking compassion and empathy from them. The ill, the suffering, the weak; they are all drawn to the unconditional understanding and compassion an Empath emits. And Empaths emit it whether they want to or not.That’s not to say Empaths can’t be mean and nasty people -- they surely can be. But those particular Empaths tend to be those with profound sensitivity who've broken down inside and have no other way of keeping other’s emotions at bay. Again, these are Empaths who don’t know of their abilities.
7. Can you heal?
Most Empaths have the ability to heal. Yes, that means physically. This isn’t about Reiki or any other alternative modality, though they may seem similar in concept. An Empath heals instinctively, usually by drawing the pain or ailment out and accepting it into their own bodies. For obvious reasons, this is not recommended for anyone who doesn’t know how to keep from becoming ill in the process. In today’s day and age, everyone seems to want to be psychic to some degree. That’s probably due our evolution of consciousness as human beings. Therefore, many people reading this will likely think themselves Empathic. I cannot stress the following enough: There is nothing fun about being an Empath. It’s often a very draining and miserable existence in which you feel like you have to be entirely alone in order to survive. It is not glamorous, it is not exciting and it is painful more often than not.
You're not crazy!
Being an Empath doesn't have to be so overwhelming, but this is not something most would aspire to so don't get upset if none of this rings true for you. Everyone's got "otherworldly talents" and you needn't be an Empath to excel in the realm of conscious endeavors. If you *are* an Empath, you will know this is you, you will not be saying “Hmm.. maybe… hmm…” If you feel (without hesitation!) these apply to you as I’ve just described, then also know there are ways of coping, and I’ll get into them in future articles. With a little self-awareness you can turn your curse into gift, especially when it comes to being able to ease the emotional and physical pain of others. For now, take consolation in the knowledge that you are not crazy!
To learn more about being an Empath, read some of my other articles (you can find the links above) or try some of the resources available from other Empaths who have written books on the subject. Also, when I first wrote this article, there weren't any online support groups available, but now there are several which you can find with a quick Googling. Keep your chin up, and don't let being an Empath become an emotional burden!
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Just touching base.....and, thank you!
Good morning! I want to express my thanks to my readers, and even more, for your input. As you may have surmised, narcissism is unfortunately becoming more and more "mainstream" in this culture. While we know that everyone has to have some healthy narcissism, or one could not even effectively and confidently apply for a position, there is an abundance of malignant narcissism today. Theorists posit that our culture is now largely narcissistic. Their contentions are logical, and I happen to agree based on the criteria they present.
Mostly evident in males, and with greater and greater appearance in mid and late teens (even though technically it cannot be diagnosed until 18), many readers are concerned that this disorder is becoming the "new normal". No studies regarding narcissism disprove that belief. However, I leave you all to your own research.
What is more important is that we all learn how to recognize this condition, because while it initially may present in a person as a thoroughly desirable personality, it is one in which the individual is extremely cunning, cruel, and exploitative. While they can appear completely repentant as life with that person rolls along, the fact is that it is always about them. If they appear to be devoted to your wishes, it is because that facade is designed to get them what they want. Thus, it is still, and always, about them.
You readers have suggested some readings about the Stockholm Syndrome, almost always suffered by spouses and children of the narcissist. This is appreciated input. Yet that leaves me with an ambivalence. Ambivalence as to whether I "go with the flow" of my readers, in this particular case. I do not, in any case, wish to be a blog solely about narcissism. However, I am deeply convinced that most people "cannot see it coming", i.e. it is a complex personality disorder.
That leads to the danger of centering on narcissists, and their incredibly toxic presence in anyone's life. (Their ultimate dream scenario!) Yet, more information all around this personality certainly cannot hurt. We all have some of these traits, or we would not even begin to successfully apply for a job, or confidently give presentations in our field. However, there is a line in the sand where narcissistic people cross over into the realm where they are absolutely "dangerous to your health". If one adds to that diagnosis traits of sadism, the damage to those people (spouses, friends, children) around the narcissist may be extreme. One might compare it to swimming in a peaceful, but putrescent pool.
So, bear with me readers. I will post articles I hope will give some depth to more understanding of this toxic and dangerously virulent disorder.
I hope all of you are enjoying the last throes of pre-holiday celebration. Breathe, relax and enjoy. Gratitude is in order!
Madelaine
I hope all of you are enjoying the last throes of pre-holiday celebration. Breathe, relax and enjoy. Gratitude is in order!
Madelaine
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Ode to Joy - Flash Mob Started by One Little Girl
And it will always be: that all working as ONE create the symphony of life!
Saturday, December 13, 2014
The Fractal Brain Theory & the Unification of Neuroscience with AI & Psychology - YouTube
"This Fractal Brain Theory, is the key to Artificial Intelligence and the Technological Singularity. This Theory will have immediate consequences initially in the worlds of Science and Technology, but will then impact dramatically on the Social, Political & Economic realms.
Furthermore the Fractal Brain Theory also holds the key to explaining the nature of Consciousness. Wai will show that the reason why contemporary philosophers and neuroscientists haven't been able to find the answer is because they are asking the wrong question by assuming that consciousness reduces to the physical brain. He will explain how the physical brain and the entire illusory physical universe reduces ultimately to One consciousness that may be called God. Thus revealing explicitly and in some detail the biggest secret and ultimate truth behind World history; i.e. that the mystery of Consciousness and the mystery of God are really one and same. And so the God in the Gaps, that science hasn't yet explained, i.e. Brain, Mind & Consciousness; was where the True God of Esoteric Religion, was waiting to be discovered and revealed all along. i.e. The Christ within, Krishna within, Buddha within, Allah closer to you than your Jugular Vein etc.
CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE
Stop Traumatizing Yourself by Watching the News | Psychology Today
"Most people fill their heads with images of death and destruction every day by following "the news." Profound anxiety results, and you may not even know it's caused by your news habit. You may think you must follow "the news" to be a good person. Consider the possibility that....."CLICK TO READ REST OF ARTICLE
Friday, December 12, 2014
Stockholm Syndrome | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
"Described as a victim’s emotional “bonding” with their abuser, Stockholm Syndrome was given its name following a hostage situation in Stockholm, Sweden when, following the end of a bank robbery, the hostages identified with and supported their captor...."
(This phenomenon exists frequently in marriages and similar relationships, when there is emotional and verbal abuse, gaslighting and chronic severe demeaning. Trying to understand what is really happening often saves the victim and the children,)
CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE...
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Connecting the science of mind, brain, and spirit with perspectives from the Institute of Noetic Sciences.
"Is consciousness generated by the activity of the brain or is it a fundamental property of the universe? The IONS research team has been studying this question for several years using various kinds of optical systems. Our latest experiments, published recently in the journal Physics Essays, confirm our earlier findings. This line of research suggests that consciousness may play a key role in how the physical world manifests.....CLICK TO CONTINUE READING ARTICLE
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"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"
