EXCELLENT: "The statistics on spanking" ~ writen by unidentified mom on Epinions

"The Bottom Line I have lots more, hope you like my shortened version of why I am against corporal punishment! :) 

I realize this is a heated subject. Since I am a Mom I have carefully studied and observed this subject for the past 9 years. I have collected TONS of documentation about the subject and would like to share this with all of you. I was raised in a peaceful home and was never spanked, belted, smacked, soap wasn't put in my mouth and hot sauce definately wasn't. We were all GREAT kids & people called my parents for parenting advice all the time and said we were so polite & well-behaved. I have children and they are also doing terrific. I also don't spank. I realize we are in the minority, but hope this will someday change as once it was acceptable to hit your wife, animal or employee and that is no longer accepted. My view on this has been backed up by research, so with an open mind...please read.

Statistics on spanking (compiled from over 100 studies combined):
Children who are spanked are shown to display:
many emotional & social problems, impaired parent/child relationships, lower IQ, increased aggressiveness, behavior problems, learning problems, lower academic scores, antisocial behavior, depression problems, more likely to suffer from addictions & commit domestic abuse, prone to be angry and show less long term compliance. Not a single study shows ANY benefit that cannot be achieved from other non-violent forms of discipline. Not all adults who are corporally punished as kids have all these problems, but not all people who smoke get lung cancer either. It's not a good thing...

The US department of Health & Human services reports 142,000 children are seriously injured from Corporal punishment every year in this country, 18,000 of them are permanantly disabled. Between 1-2,000 children die each year in this country alone from Corporal punishment. Nearly 70% of child abuse cases in CPS agencies result from corporal punishment. The defense of "discipline" is raised in 41% of homicide prosecutions when parents "accidentally" kill their children. 99% of people in jail were corporally punished.

Some use the Biblical verses from Proverbs to justify their behaviors towards children. Proverbs is the only part of the Bible where this could be justification could be assimilated. It is wise to know; however, that King Solomon's harsh methods of discipline led his own son, Rehoboam to become a tyrannical and oppressive dictator whom only narrowly escaped being stoned to death by hid own people for his cruelty. Not a parent I'd want to take advice from as we see how his child turned out! Many people refer to the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child" when advocating corporal punishment. This is not even a verse from the Bible, but in fact a 16th century Samuel Butler poem about sex! Funny how's it's been so mis-used!

The other fallicy is that parents who don't spank have wild kids and they let them get away with everything. That is not true. Actually, spanking is the EASY way out. It's much harder to actually teach good behavior. Good parenting means being involved, modeling good behavior, being consistent, praising good behavior, being available, teaching, loving and not accepting bad behavior. I am actually a very strict parent, as were my parents and neither of us hit. What exactly would hitting teach? That it's ok to hit if we don't agree, that if I'm bigger than you I can hit you. The real message of the lesson get's lost. If a child learns to not do something undesirable simply from the fear of being hit, he/she's not learning the real reason to not do it. Children who are NOT hit learn right/wrong for the sake of right/wrong, not for the fear of being hit. There's a big difference there.

People who belt, paddle, pull pants down, hot-sauce, soap, and whatever else people do to their kids are simply less civilized (for lack of a nicer word). It really sickens me what people do to their kids. I really don't know why people don't see this. If I were that kid, I would rebel and revolt like there was no tomorrow!!! That would be the last you'd see of me. Statistics do show that the higher the socioeconomic and education background a person has the less likely he/she is to do these things to their children.

It takes patience to raise children. I've heard "spank with love". I'm sorry spanking is hitting, and there is nothing loving about hitting.

What some famous experts say about spanking children:

Ann Landers -
"Parents who hit their children teach them to hit others. And please tell me, when does hitting end and beating begin? And who decides where the line is? If you read the history of the most violent criminals, you will find that almost without exception, they were physically abused throughout their childhood."

Dr. Spock -
"Physical punishment certainly plays a role in our acceptance of violence. If we are to turn toward a kindlier, society and a safer world, a revulsion against the physical punishment of children would be a good place to start." (p. 173)

"My other reasons for advising against physical punishment are, in brief, that it teaches children that might make right, that it encourages some children to be bullies, and most fundamentally, that to the degree that it results in good behavior it's because of the fear of pain. I have a strong belief that the best reason for behaving well is that you like people, want to get along with them, want them to like you." (p.173)

Albert Einstein:
"To me the worst thing seems to be for a school
principally to work with methods of fear, force and
artificial authority. Such treatment destroys the
sound sentiments, the sincerity and self-confidence of
the pupil. It produces the submissive subject. . . It
is comparatively simple to keep the school free from
this worst of all evils. Give into the power of the
teacher the fewest possible coercive measures, so that
the only source of the pupil's respect for the teacher
is the human and intellectual qualities of the
latter."


A quick story I'd like to share:
something to think about...

a story told by Astrid Lindgren
[Author of Pippi Longstocking]
"Above all, I believe that there should never be any violence." In 1978, Astrid Lindgren received the German Book Trade Peace Prize for her literary contributions. In acceptance, she told the following story.

"When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor's wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn't believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking - the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, "Mama, I couldn't find a switch, but here's a rock that you can throw at me."

All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child's point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery - one can raise children into violence."

I think that too often we fail to feel situations "from the child's point of view," and that failure leads us to teach our children other than what we think we're teaching them.

.............maybe one day....? "

KUDOS: Tech companies' leftover food benefiting S.F. needy - SFGate

"Like spotting a rickety cable car or the wandering Frank Chu, catching a glimpse of the Food Runners bicycle courier pulling a trailer fully loaded with trays of food might become something of a downtown San Francisco rite of passage.

The bike has been more active, especially in SoMa, as Food Runners has been increasingly overwhelmed - in a good way - by the amount of food being donated by local tech companies... " CLICK HERE TO READ DETAILS

The ‘Big’ Questions in Physics Today | Science and Nonduality

"At its heart theoretical physics deals with Big Questions, from black holes to quantum mechanics to the Big Bang. In a recent article on NPR, Marcelo Gleiser, a professor of physics and astronomy at Dartmouth College, presented his list of the top challenges faced by theoretical physicists today....."   CLICK HERE TO READ MORE....

TV as Birth Control: Defusing the Population Bomb - Community - Utne Reader

"Earlier this year Stanford human geographer Martin Lewis asked his students a simple question: How did they think U.S. family sizes compared with those in India? Between Indian and American women, who had the most children? It was, they replied, a no-brainer. Of course Indian women had more—they estimated twice as many. Lewis tried the question out on his academic colleagues. They thought much the same.

But it’s not true....."

Read more: http://www.utne.com/community/population-bomb-zm0z14uzwil.aspx#ixzz3CrcFRkoXTV as Birth Control: Defusing the Population Bomb - Community - Utne Reader

Blaming Nature: When 'Natural' Disasters Are Caused By Us - Environment - Utne Reader

It’s easy to categorize most floods, storms, and hurricanes as “natural” disasters, but what does it mean when the blame for their effects lies with us?
Read more: http://www.utne.com/environment/natural-disasters-ze0z1405zsau.aspx#ixzz3Crbanb1wBlaming Nature: When 'Natural' Disasters Are Caused By Us - Environment - Utne Reader

If only American kids could eat school lunches like they do in France - Salon.com

"The standard school lunch for an American child often contains dishes brimming with preservatives and sodium. While some schools have completely overhauled their school menus to contain fresh vegetables and grains, others still struggle with meeting nutritional guidelines. But for students in France, it appears that school lunches are the least of their concerns......"   CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

How to Tell a Sociopath from a Psychopath | Psychology Today

"Many forensic psychologists and criminologists use the terms sociopathy and psychopathy interchangeably. Leading experts disagree on whether there are meaningful differences between the two conditions. I contend that there are significant distinctions between them......"

CLICK HERE TO READ...

A Step Toward Holding Colleges Accountable for Campus Sexual Assault | The Nation

Members of Know Your IX see the legislation as an important step forward in holding colleges accountable for their treatment of sexual assault. “We’re glad to see this bipartisan effort, rooted in students’ experiences on the ground and their recommendations, moving forward,” they said.... CLICK HERE TO READ

(CHILD TEST) Are you an Indigo Child ? - Find out More With the Indigo Child Test | Indigo Test For Children & Adults

CLICK HERE TO SEE CRITERIA FOR INDIGO CHILD

(Adult Test) Indigo Adult Test | Indigo Test For Children & Adults

CLICK HERE TO SEE ADULT TEST....

Married to a Narcissistic Husband? Proceed with Caution! | The Narcissistic Life

About Alexander Burgemeester

Alex Graduated in Neuro-Psychology at the University of Amsterdam. He worked a few years in a nursing home where he specialized himself in neurodegenerative disorders (alzheimer, parkinson), Personality Disorders and Emotional disorders (depression). Now he specializes in sharing his knowledge on public websites.    


Certainly all relationships have challenges. But being married to a narcissistic husband can be a very complicated and thorny journey. A narcissistic husband can be vain, insensitive to your needs, violent, and exceptionally critical of you. Living with a person like that can be destructive and demoralizing. It can leave you feeling confused and hurt by their seemingly incomprehensible actions. Theoretically, it is possible to negotiate a relationship with a narcissistic individual; but keep in mind that most narcissists are unlikely to recognize or take responsibility for needing to adjust the current unhealthy relationship.....  CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

Indigo Children - CNN - Andersen Cooper

  
Whether they are called the "Disciple 

Generation" by Christians, or "Indigo Kids" by

 New Age followers, or Millenials by 

demographers children born after 1978 are 

said to be different. They are empathetic, 

curious, strong-willed, independent, and often 

perceived by friends and family as being weird.

 They possess a clear sense of self-definition 

and purpose and also exhibit a strong 

inclination towards spiritual matters from early 

childhood. 

These children have also been described as

 having a strong feeling of entitlement. These

 children have a high intelligence quotient, an

 inherent intuitive ability, and a resistance to

 authority. Indigo children function poorly in

 conventional schools due to their rejection of

 authority, being conceptually smarter than their

 teachers. They are non-responsive to

 authoritarian, guilt/fear/manipulation based

 discipline. Many of these children labeled or

 diagnosed as having ADHD. They are avoiding

 or leaving the modern Church model in droves

 as they find deep spirituality in the gifts God 

has given them.

The Gratitude Challenge: Does Expressing Thanks Every Day Make You Happier? | Lindsay Holmes

Lindsay Holmes 

The Gratitude Challenge: Does Expressing Thanks Every Day Make You Happier?

Posted: 08/23/2014 9:51 am EDT Updated: 08/23/2014 9:59 am EDT

Print Article

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"In an interview with author Gretchen Rubin, author and University of Houston research professor Brené Brown said, "I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness -- it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude." Brown's philosophy wasn't wrong, at least not according to research. Studies show that the more you express thanks, the happier you are....."     CLICK HERE TO READ MORE!

"How to Raise Grateful Children"

CLICK HERE TO READ

ONE PASTE FROM THIS ARTICLE:    "...........Teach actions. Saying thank you is fine. It is. But in these busy, crazy times of social networking and little connection to real people, it’s important to teach children to SHOW UP and give thanks. Have them write out their thank yous daily in a journal. Call instead of emailing. Give cookies to the school janitor.

Give thanks. For all children, writing or drawing a picture of the things they are thankful for is a great way to get them thinking about being thankful. For the ones not quite ready for that kind of daily devotion, a simple bedtime ritual works wonders. Ask your child what she is grateful for today? Share your own idea or two with her as well.

Make cards. Every now and then, I buy blank cards and let the girls go crazy with decorating them anyway they want. We send those cards to the people in our life that need a lift. Thank you cards are a lost art that some of us really wish we could get people to spend more time on. Make a card. Give thanks daily. Spread joy weekly..........."

11 WARNING Signs Of Unhealthy Relationships You Need to Be Aware Of

CLICK HERE to read this 'QUICK AND DIRTY BUT TRUE" LIST

EXCELLENT ARTICLE! Back to Basics: Parenting, the Divine Blueprint and the Boundaries of Free-Will | The Power of Social Consciousness

"As parents, we certainly want what’s best for 

our children. But how parents relate to their 

children, in terms of expectations, is typically a 

function of what parents deem as “best”. 

Except in cases of abuse and neglect, most 

parents mean well when they prescribe or 

dictate certain goals, standards or aspirations 

for their children. But many parents may be 

shocked to learn that what they consider to be 

dedicated and responsible parenting, often 

constitutes a trespass across the boundaries of 

free will...... READ FULL ARTICLE..CLICK HERE

Colgate Total Contains Chemical Linked To Cancer | Alternet

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The Best and Worst Places in America to Educate Your Child | Alternet

"Among the many topics parents tend to spend obscene amounts of time worrying about (are they safe? are they warm? are they well fed?), where to send one’s children to school can become a bona fide obsession. And with good reason: even as the debate continues about the value of a college degree, at the moment, level of educational attainment still carries significant weight in predicting future earnings. Even leaving “earnings potential” aside, most of us who care for children want to know that where we’re sending them each day is a place that’s safe and nurturing -- not mention teaching them a thing or two along the way."    CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE

Spornosexuality, Body Image and Boys | Psychology Today

"We’ve spent all kinds of energy worrying about girls and body image.  Trends like ‘spornosexuals’ in the media (athletes and other celebrities with their shirts off showing off their abs) remind us ....."CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING