5 Biggest Problems with Revenge—and Its 3 Best Remedies

This post will lay out the reasons that—both ethically and pragmatically—your viewpoint on revenge should be decidedly negative. CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING...

Who Holds Our Debt?

Q: Who are the holders of U.S. debt?

A: The biggest are the Social Security trust funds (16 percent), the Federal Reserve banks (12 percent), China (8 percent), Japan (7 percent) and mutual funds including money-market funds (6 percent).........     CLICK HERE TO READ FACTS

"4 Secrets for Setting Rock-Solid Boundaries" - World of Psychology

Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. is an Associate Editor at Psych Central and blogs regularly about eating and self-image issues on her own blog, Weightless.    CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING ABOUT SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

KUDOS TO "THE LIVING ROOM"! "For Psychiatric Crises, Alternatives to ERs Have Their Advantages" - Psych Central News

“The experiences of (emergency departments) for persons in emotional distress were characterized by feelings of insecurity, loneliness, intimidation, fear, and discomfort,” the study noted. “Participants described feeling unsupported by (emergency department) staff.”    CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT THIS WONDERFUL RESOURCE!

Mind Control - WantToKnow.info

This mind control summary is based on astonishing excerpts from three landmark books:Bluebird by Colin Ross, MD; Mind Controllers by Armen Victorian; and A Nation Betrayedby Carol Rutz. The authors provide hundreds of footnotes to support their thorough research. Their revealing information is derived largely from 18,000 pages of declassified CIA mind control documents. To order these key documents from the U.S. government,click here. Join in powerfully building a better world for all by spreading the word.  CLICK HERE TO READ FACTS

Burglars Who Took On F.B.I. / New York Times - reposted by WantToKnow.info

Burglars Who Took On F.B.I. Abandon Shadows
2014-01-07, New York Times
Posted: 2014-01-13 16:19:46
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/07/us/burglars-who-took-on-fbi-abandon-shadows...

On a night nearly 43 years ago, while Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier bludgeoned each other over 15 rounds in a televised title bout viewed by millions around the world, burglars took a lock pick and a crowbar and broke into a Federal Bureau of Investigation office in a suburb of Philadelphia, making off with nearly every document inside. They were never caught, and the stolen documents that they mailed anonymously to newspaper reporters ... would become a flood of revelations about extensive spying and dirty-tricks operations by the F.B.I. against dissident groups. Perhaps the most damning document from the cache [was] a 1970 memorandum that ... urged agents to step up their interviews of antiwar activists and members of dissident student groups. “It will enhance the paranoia endemic in these circles and will further serve to get the point across there is an F.B.I. agent behind every mailbox.” Another document, signed by Hoover himself, revealed widespread F.B.I. surveillance of black student groups on college campuses. But the document that would have the biggest impact on reining in the F.B.I.’s domestic spying activities [included] a mysterious word: Cointelpro ... shorthand for Counterintelligence Program.Since 1956, the F.B.I. had carried out an expansive campaign to spy on civil rights leaders, political organizers and suspected Communists, and had tried to sow distrust among protest groups. Among the grim litany of revelations was a blackmail letter F.B.I. agents had sent anonymously to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., threatening to expose his extramarital affairs if he did not commit suicide. The intent of Cointelpro was to destroy lives and ruin reputations.

Note: To learn about the brave citizen burglars who have now revealed themselves and watch the engaging video covering this story, click on the link given above. For more on the realities of intelligence agency activities, see the deeply revealing reports from reliable major media sources available here.

» Prepare for Parenting by Healing Your Childhood Wounds - Attachment Matters

"Before parents can even fathom relying on their gut feelings in how to approach their parent-child relationships in a healthy, sensitive way, it is my firm belief that they must first address and heal from any childhood emotional wounds they may be carrying around, often without their realization until they bring a new child into the world, and even sometimes not even then."  CLICK HERE TO READ FURTHER

» Raising Assertive Kids - Psych Central

"....just like adults, kids can have a tough time being assertive. One of the reasons assertiveness is difficult is because kids want to get what they want without the potential for pain, Schab said. “If we think that standing up for ourselves and asking for something directly might result in a ‘no’ for an answer and our egos can’t take that, we do what we think will get us what we want,” she said.....  CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

The Agony of Instagram

....."Instagram, rather, is about unadulterated voyeurism. It is almost entirely a photo site, with a built-in ability (through the site’s retro-style filters) to idealize every moment, encouraging users to create art-directed magazine layouts of their lives, as if everyone is suddenly Diana Vreeland".......CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE!

How to help a young child learn generosity - The Washington Post

......"But of course he doesn’t really understand yet. “There’s a big disconnect between the people ‘over there’ and my piggy bank,” said Vicki Hoefle, a parenting educator and author of “Duct Tape Parenting.”.........CLICK HERE TO READ!

25 Ways to Teach Kids Compassion

During his talks, the Dalai Lama emphasizes how important it is for children to experience compassion from their caregivers from birth.True compassion means being highly attuned to your child's needs and accepting them for the unique persons they are. It is not the same as sympathy, empathy, or altruism although each plays a part. The compassionate person feels the suffering of another and makes positive steps to alleviate that suffering.,,,,,,,,,CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Dysfunctional Religion Versus a Spirituality That Builds Intimacy and Community - Huff Post

CLICK HERE TO READ: Dysfunctional Religion Versus a Spirituality That Builds Intimacy and Community

'Spiritual but Not Religious': A Rising, Misunderstood Voting Bloc

STEVEN BARRIE-ANTHONY is a research associate at the Social Science Research Council and a doctoral candidate in religious studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara. A former Los Angeles Times staff writer, he also writes at Reverberations and The Immanent Frame      .CLICK HERE TO READ

How Can We Help Our Children Become “Grittier”? - Psychology Today - Kenneth Barish, PhD

Kenneth Barish is the author of Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child's Emotions and Solving Family Problems. Pride and Joy is winner of the 2013 International Book Award.

 CLICK HERE TO READ: How Can We Help Our Children Become “Grittier”?

HAPPY NEW YEAR? or........

I want to express my gratitude for the outpouring of comments about some of the subjects posted.  I watch the emails and general trends often to hear the information most needed by you, my readers. Your emails have been wonderfully informative, and I deeply appreciate your links.  

It interests me deeply when I "construct the umbrella" which you all provide me. While I "go with the flow", I have listed categories for posts.  As to my post title, I wonder if the phrase, "Happy New Year" has evolved so rapidly that we scarcely keep up with it.

Of course! Who doesn't wish to be happy?  Yet..... learning (which, for me, encompasses experience, compassion, perhaps a real rasher of disappointment and/or sadness in that process) usually takes us through a "dark night of the soul"  (What, again?!?!).  The only way is straight through the middle, I am told...and believe.  Like many of you, that "middle" is chock full of kicking and screaming.  That is, until we settle down and soak up all those stages of grief.  That is, until we can find some perverse humor embedded in the process.  That is, until we mature into a place where we accept ... yes, accept ... that a particular experience is simply in our lives.  

It is then that we return to "Houston" ... safe for take-off. True, we may be wizened, more clearly self-defined, purified, disinfected, and with almost a "post-modern", conscious mindset. 

That process is rich and "the path less taken".  It feels perilous and terrifying at first.  That feeling is not the outcome;  it is merely confronting our own resistance.

So, I no longer wish for myself a "happy" New Year.  I wish for myself one whose (as usual!) bounty is discovered as courage, "staying power", a sort of Viagra for the soul and spirit!  This world is on a multi-faceted trajectory, the likes of which we haven't seen before.  I wish for you the same... the little blue pill of soul and heart courage. Many will not "make it".  They will balk from doing "the work" because it simply seems easier to maintain the status quo.  I challenge each of you not to balk.....in a broad definition, that "status quo" is the kiss of death.
Madelaine

EXCELLENT! "The Covert Narcissist: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" - YouTube Video

Parent Alienation Syndrome OR Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Family alienation, in general, is on the rise.  Fathers alienating children (even grown) fro their mothers; also grand parent alienation. This video "works" for all the variations.

"Here i raise the question if Parent Alienation Syndrome is a separate disorder or if it is a behavior of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We know that the prevalence of narcissistic issues is high in PAS parents. We also know that up to the divorce this behavior is not prevalent in alienating parents. It is as if the divorce trigger a certain behavior in a personality already disturbed. A normal personality would never expose a child to this kind of brainwashing. 

It is a fact that the features defined for narcissistic personality disorder contains the features described for PAS, but not vice versa. Moreover, it is clear that nobody suddenly get a personality disorder, as PAS is, just because a divorce happens. This behavior appears more as a result of pre-existing personality and manifests itself in this particular way when the particular condition of divorce occurs."

The Inner Pain of Adult Children of Alcoholics

     Since there are over 600,00 deaths each year from alcohol, it naturally follows that many children are born into an a family with at least one alcoholic parent.  Many people discover that they have several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic household.

     They came to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect themselves, they become people pleasers, even though they may lose their own identities in the process. At the same time  they mistake any personal criticism as a threat. Often, they lose the ability to feel empathy for others, and rarely "walk in the moccasins" of the Other.  

      They either became alcoholics themselves, married them, or both. Failing that, they  found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, a person in high need of control, or other similar wounds to fulfill their insatiable need for abandonment. 

     "Need"?  Yes, because in that way, when others tire of the drama and detach from them, it feels both terrible and wonderful at the same time.  The "wonderful" part results from the recapitulation of their childhood with the alcoholic caretaker.  That, of course, is a primary reason for why people choose their partners:  to replicate that same chaos, pain and fear, in order to 'do over' that period of time., hoping that it will turn out differently.  Of course, without recovery, therapy, etc., they just replicate the pain of their youth all over again.

     ACOA's live life from the standpoint of victims. Having an over developed, or under-developed sense of responsibility, they preferred to be concerned with others rather than themselves. They get guilt feelings when they trust themselves, giving in to others. They become reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.  

     Often, beginning life as independent, proud children, they eventually become dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. For women especially, they view a relationship with a theme of passivity rather than feeling, and acting upon, their true personal power.  Their lives are fraught with complex opposites:  the "show" of a confident, independent person, while they are being quite dependent. 

     While yearning for a true loving relationship with a person who honors their unique individuality, they tend to pass that up for another person who is angry, non-empathic, demanding, and who does not truly value them as a human being. They content themselves with charming lip service from partners, as long as they can avoid any sort of symbolic judgment...as long as the scale of abandonment plus non-abandonment remains finely balanced.  To balance that scale,  they do things which will create abandonment, replicating the roots of their life. Until therapy has progressed, they keep choosing insecure primary and secondary relationships because they remind the ACOA of  their childhood relationship with the alcoholic parent(s). This is an emotionally exhausting process for the ACOA, and even more so if they have children.

     These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism made them 'co-victims', those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. ACOA's learn to keep our feelings down as children and keep them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we often confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. And..... they confuse love with control.

     Even more self-defeating, ACOA's became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable solutions.

This is a description, not an indictment.

Some of the hallmarks of the ACOA are:

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.

2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without rational mercy. As a result, they judge others in that same rigid manner, completely overriding mercy, and understanding.

5  Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun. Even when they claim to be "having fun", they generally display a false self, in that they cannot simply "let go" into an easygoing joyfulness. Those around them sense this without any problem, and the "air" is laden with anxiety.

6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously, and lose a free flowing adaptability and acquiescence.  Acquiescence for the ACOA is threatening to their core.  They see it as a measure of weakness, rather than a serene acceptance of their foibles.

7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships, and often recreate the abandonment see-saw with ones who love them.  Push-pull dynamics, ones that say, "Go away----come here", as well as passive aggression are most common.

8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.

9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.

11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, and even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.

13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

Will Twitter Sell Its Soul Like Facebook Did? (Update 1) ~ Rocco Pendola / The Street

"First, I am on record as the first person known to man to suggest "TWIT" as the ticker symbol for Twitter as a publicly-traded entity. It's timestamped in a November 7, 2012 article where I suggested Facebook (FB_) and Twitter should consider a merger or, at the very least, an advertising partnership............."  CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Have You Sold Your Soul? ~ Mary Goulet

Let’s cover a few things regarding this because when we sell our Soul for something or someone we will have to eventually reap the consequences. Always. Period.       CLICK HERE TO READ FURTHER