How to help a young child learn generosity - The Washington Post

......"But of course he doesn’t really understand yet. “There’s a big disconnect between the people ‘over there’ and my piggy bank,” said Vicki Hoefle, a parenting educator and author of “Duct Tape Parenting.”.........CLICK HERE TO READ!

25 Ways to Teach Kids Compassion

During his talks, the Dalai Lama emphasizes how important it is for children to experience compassion from their caregivers from birth.True compassion means being highly attuned to your child's needs and accepting them for the unique persons they are. It is not the same as sympathy, empathy, or altruism although each plays a part. The compassionate person feels the suffering of another and makes positive steps to alleviate that suffering.,,,,,,,,,CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Dysfunctional Religion Versus a Spirituality That Builds Intimacy and Community - Huff Post

CLICK HERE TO READ: Dysfunctional Religion Versus a Spirituality That Builds Intimacy and Community

'Spiritual but Not Religious': A Rising, Misunderstood Voting Bloc

STEVEN BARRIE-ANTHONY is a research associate at the Social Science Research Council and a doctoral candidate in religious studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara. A former Los Angeles Times staff writer, he also writes at Reverberations and The Immanent Frame      .CLICK HERE TO READ

How Can We Help Our Children Become “Grittier”? - Psychology Today - Kenneth Barish, PhD

Kenneth Barish is the author of Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child's Emotions and Solving Family Problems. Pride and Joy is winner of the 2013 International Book Award.

 CLICK HERE TO READ: How Can We Help Our Children Become “Grittier”?

HAPPY NEW YEAR? or........

I want to express my gratitude for the outpouring of comments about some of the subjects posted.  I watch the emails and general trends often to hear the information most needed by you, my readers. Your emails have been wonderfully informative, and I deeply appreciate your links.  

It interests me deeply when I "construct the umbrella" which you all provide me. While I "go with the flow", I have listed categories for posts.  As to my post title, I wonder if the phrase, "Happy New Year" has evolved so rapidly that we scarcely keep up with it.

Of course! Who doesn't wish to be happy?  Yet..... learning (which, for me, encompasses experience, compassion, perhaps a real rasher of disappointment and/or sadness in that process) usually takes us through a "dark night of the soul"  (What, again?!?!).  The only way is straight through the middle, I am told...and believe.  Like many of you, that "middle" is chock full of kicking and screaming.  That is, until we settle down and soak up all those stages of grief.  That is, until we can find some perverse humor embedded in the process.  That is, until we mature into a place where we accept ... yes, accept ... that a particular experience is simply in our lives.  

It is then that we return to "Houston" ... safe for take-off. True, we may be wizened, more clearly self-defined, purified, disinfected, and with almost a "post-modern", conscious mindset. 

That process is rich and "the path less taken".  It feels perilous and terrifying at first.  That feeling is not the outcome;  it is merely confronting our own resistance.

So, I no longer wish for myself a "happy" New Year.  I wish for myself one whose (as usual!) bounty is discovered as courage, "staying power", a sort of Viagra for the soul and spirit!  This world is on a multi-faceted trajectory, the likes of which we haven't seen before.  I wish for you the same... the little blue pill of soul and heart courage. Many will not "make it".  They will balk from doing "the work" because it simply seems easier to maintain the status quo.  I challenge each of you not to balk.....in a broad definition, that "status quo" is the kiss of death.
Madelaine

EXCELLENT! "The Covert Narcissist: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" - YouTube Video

Parent Alienation Syndrome OR Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Family alienation, in general, is on the rise.  Fathers alienating children (even grown) fro their mothers; also grand parent alienation. This video "works" for all the variations.

"Here i raise the question if Parent Alienation Syndrome is a separate disorder or if it is a behavior of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We know that the prevalence of narcissistic issues is high in PAS parents. We also know that up to the divorce this behavior is not prevalent in alienating parents. It is as if the divorce trigger a certain behavior in a personality already disturbed. A normal personality would never expose a child to this kind of brainwashing. 

It is a fact that the features defined for narcissistic personality disorder contains the features described for PAS, but not vice versa. Moreover, it is clear that nobody suddenly get a personality disorder, as PAS is, just because a divorce happens. This behavior appears more as a result of pre-existing personality and manifests itself in this particular way when the particular condition of divorce occurs."

The Inner Pain of Adult Children of Alcoholics

     Since there are over 600,00 deaths each year from alcohol, it naturally follows that many children are born into an a family with at least one alcoholic parent.  Many people discover that they have several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic household.

     They came to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect themselves, they become people pleasers, even though they may lose their own identities in the process. At the same time  they mistake any personal criticism as a threat. Often, they lose the ability to feel empathy for others, and rarely "walk in the moccasins" of the Other.  

      They either became alcoholics themselves, married them, or both. Failing that, they  found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, a person in high need of control, or other similar wounds to fulfill their insatiable need for abandonment. 

     "Need"?  Yes, because in that way, when others tire of the drama and detach from them, it feels both terrible and wonderful at the same time.  The "wonderful" part results from the recapitulation of their childhood with the alcoholic caretaker.  That, of course, is a primary reason for why people choose their partners:  to replicate that same chaos, pain and fear, in order to 'do over' that period of time., hoping that it will turn out differently.  Of course, without recovery, therapy, etc., they just replicate the pain of their youth all over again.

     ACOA's live life from the standpoint of victims. Having an over developed, or under-developed sense of responsibility, they preferred to be concerned with others rather than themselves. They get guilt feelings when they trust themselves, giving in to others. They become reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.  

     Often, beginning life as independent, proud children, they eventually become dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. For women especially, they view a relationship with a theme of passivity rather than feeling, and acting upon, their true personal power.  Their lives are fraught with complex opposites:  the "show" of a confident, independent person, while they are being quite dependent. 

     While yearning for a true loving relationship with a person who honors their unique individuality, they tend to pass that up for another person who is angry, non-empathic, demanding, and who does not truly value them as a human being. They content themselves with charming lip service from partners, as long as they can avoid any sort of symbolic judgment...as long as the scale of abandonment plus non-abandonment remains finely balanced.  To balance that scale,  they do things which will create abandonment, replicating the roots of their life. Until therapy has progressed, they keep choosing insecure primary and secondary relationships because they remind the ACOA of  their childhood relationship with the alcoholic parent(s). This is an emotionally exhausting process for the ACOA, and even more so if they have children.

     These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism made them 'co-victims', those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. ACOA's learn to keep our feelings down as children and keep them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we often confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. And..... they confuse love with control.

     Even more self-defeating, ACOA's became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable solutions.

This is a description, not an indictment.

Some of the hallmarks of the ACOA are:

1. Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.

2. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

4. Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without rational mercy. As a result, they judge others in that same rigid manner, completely overriding mercy, and understanding.

5  Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun. Even when they claim to be "having fun", they generally display a false self, in that they cannot simply "let go" into an easygoing joyfulness. Those around them sense this without any problem, and the "air" is laden with anxiety.

6. Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously, and lose a free flowing adaptability and acquiescence.  Acquiescence for the ACOA is threatening to their core.  They see it as a measure of weakness, rather than a serene acceptance of their foibles.

7. Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships, and often recreate the abandonment see-saw with ones who love them.  Push-pull dynamics, ones that say, "Go away----come here", as well as passive aggression are most common.

8. Adult children of alcoholics overreact to changes over which they have no control.

9. Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.

10. Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.

11. Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.

12. Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, and even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.

13. Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsively leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

Will Twitter Sell Its Soul Like Facebook Did? (Update 1) ~ Rocco Pendola / The Street

"First, I am on record as the first person known to man to suggest "TWIT" as the ticker symbol for Twitter as a publicly-traded entity. It's timestamped in a November 7, 2012 article where I suggested Facebook (FB_) and Twitter should consider a merger or, at the very least, an advertising partnership............."  CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Have You Sold Your Soul? ~ Mary Goulet

Let’s cover a few things regarding this because when we sell our Soul for something or someone we will have to eventually reap the consequences. Always. Period.       CLICK HERE TO READ FURTHER

Christmas Message / The Arcturian Group

DECEMBER 22, 2013 We come to wish you all a very Merry experience in the season of Hanukkah, Christmas, or whatever you are choose to celebrate in this season. It carries an energy of joy and it matters not that some may choose to name it something other than Christmas. It is a season that promotes celebration, love, and the experiences of Oneness--the underlying energy of Christmas. Christmas to Christians, means the birth of Jesus but many who call themselves Christians fail to look beneath the rites, rituals, and celebrations of a birth 2000 years ago, getting caught up in much of it without any deeper understanding of the core truths of the event. Rituals in and of themselves have only the importance or power they are given, for they are simply representations of deeper truths. Begin to ponder the deeper meanings of this season for the outer, material sense of anything is always an interpretation of its spiritual reality. Enjoy the festivities and try to let go of any concerns you may hold. Stand and observe with a lightness of heart letting yourselves join whatever activities resonate with you. Along with the difficult lessons, you are meant to experience joy and learn to be happy, and now is a perfect time and good excuse for those of you who have difficulty doing this. For too long spiritual living has been equated dull stoicism and suffering, even to the point of believing that self inflicted pain will make one more "holy". This is pure nonsense dear ones, know that these erroneous concepts were seeded into world consciousness by those who stood to benefit from mankind's' belief in such things. Joy carries the energy of the Divine. You are here to learn yes, and a large part of that learning is to integrate the energy of joy and love thus allowing you to then express it, for you cannot flow outwardly that which you believe you do not have. The holiday season is bringing confusion for some of you. You are feeling the need to question many of your traditional beliefs and this is good, for it means you are no longer just taking for granted that life can be lived only in a particular way, and that anything other than that one way is incorrect. The world is a diverse and wonderful one filled with many traditions and different ways of expression for you to experience. Those who forever stick only to what they know believing that it is the only way, will never enjoy the world's infinite diversity. Anything in your life that no longer resonates with you, have the courage to release. This does not mean you push it deeper inside, simply walk away, or ignore any human footsteps needing to be taken for these are frequently karmic situations needing to be once and for all, resolved. Letting go is NOT an excuse to simply avoid something unpleasant that may be presenting itself to you. Spiritually, letting go means is that you go deeper within and take a long look at the particular issue as to why it no longer resonates with you. Honestly examine your belief system, asking yourself; "What am I believing about this person, place, event, experience etc." and then ask yourself; "Is this true or is this a concept I am still holding that is in and of the third dimensional belief system?". You will quickly begin to see the issue from a new perspective and this gives you the power to then let it go and at the same time, send unconditional love and light to all involved. Ask for guidance, your Guides are just waiting for you to ask. Write everything bothering you down and take time to really examine your belief system. It can be very painful to release something you have grown accustomed to even when that something is dense and heavy and you know you would be better off without it. This goes for relationships, traditions, habits, or anything that feels old and finished. Open yourselves to the true meaning of Christmas dear ones, open yourselves to the celebration, gratitude, happiness, and joy of letting the Christ (Light) be born within each of your hearts not relegating it to one event that happened long ago. Let Christmas take place in every moment of every day within you. The birth of the Christ takes place in a humble (the stable) heart, one that has released and moved beyond ego and self importance (duality and separation). This is the true message of Christmas. Look deeper. We celebrate with you, dear ones. We celebrate with you the remembrance of the message of Oneness as was given to the world through the event of 2000 years ago. This was and is Jesus's eternal gift to you--acknowledge and accept this gift through your own ever deepening understanding of his messages and then begin to live them without judgement, criticism, or self-righteousness. Christmas is not just for those calling themselves Christians, for it is a celebration of universal Oneness, to be interpreted on ever deepening levels. Many so called atheists and agnostics practice the truths of Oneness perfectly and often more completely than many calling themselves "Christians". Try to not place labels on anything or anyone, but simply focus on your own journey to live the message of Christmas. This is true Christianity and the message of Jesus. Merry Christmas We are the Arcturian Group 12/22/13

Institute for Responsible Technology - GMO Dangers

The American Academy of Environmental Medicine (AAEM) doesn’t think so. The Academy reported that “Several animal studies indicate serious health risks associated with GM food,” including infertility, immune problems, accelerated aging, faulty insulin regulation, and changes in major organs and the gastrointestinal system. The AAEM asked physicians to advise patients to avoid GM foods...CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING!..

GMOs and Genetically Modified Foods Risks and Dangers of GMOs

"Genetically Engineered Foods (GMOs) May Pose National Health Risk

By Jeffrey M. Smith

In a study in the early 1990's rats were fed genetically modified (GM) tomatoes. Well actually, the rats refused to eat them. They were force-fed. Several of the rats developed stomach lesions and seven out of forty died within two weeks.[1] Scientists at the FDA who reviewed the study agreed that it did not provide a "demonstration of reasonable certainty of no harm." In fact, agency scientists warned that GM foods in general might create unpredicted allergies, toxins, antibiotic resistant diseases, and nutritional problems.

CLICK HERE TO READ IN-DEPTH INFORMATION!!

SAY "NO" TO CHOBANI!! GMO Insider. com - Inform yourself about GMO's

What are GMOs?

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GMOs, or “genetically modified organisms,” are plants, animals and bacteria that are engineered for various purposes ranging from agricultural production to scientific research.  GMOs are created through the gene splicing techniques of biotechnology (also called genetic engineering, or GE). This experimental technology merges DNA from different species, creating unstable combinations of plant, animal, bacterial and viral genes that cannot occur in nature or in traditional crossbreeding.

What crops are commonly genetically modified?

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More and more foods and products are being genetically engineered or contain genetically engineered ingredients. Here are eight of the most common to look out for. If a product contains these ingredients and is not labeled non-GMO Verified or Organic Certified, there’s a good chance  it contains GMOs:

1. Alfalfa
2. Canola
3. Corn
4. Cotton
5. Papaya
6. Soy
7. Sugar Beets
8. Zucchini and Yellow Summer Squash

ALSO high-risk: animal products (milk, meat, eggs, honey, etc.) because much animal feed is made from genetically modified soy, corn, and cottonseed. Read more »

What product ingredients commonly contain genetically engineered crops?

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Amino Acids, Aspartame, Ascorbic Acid, Sodium Ascorbate, Vitamin C, Citric Acid, Sodium Citrate, Ethanol, Flavorings (“natural” and “artificial”), High-Fructose Corn Syrup, Hydrolyzed Vegetable Protein, Lactic Acid, Maltodextrins, Molasses, Monosodium Glutamate, Sucrose, Textured Vegetable Protein (TVP), Xanthan Gum, Vitamins, Yeast Products. Read more »

Why should we be concerned about GMOs?

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Human Health Risks: More and more studies point to the idea that there’s grave cause for concern about the health effects of consuming GMOs and the chemicals they are sprayed with, including food allergies, irritable bowels, organ damage, cancer

Environmental Risks: Seventy-two percent of US GMO crops are engineered to tolerate a certain type of herbicide. But the weeds that these herbicides used to kill are coming back bigger and stronger, creating herbicide-resistant “superweeds” that require greater quantities of more toxic pesticides to eradicate.

The Risk To Farmers In Developing Countries: Every thirty minutes, a farmer commits suicide in India due to meet rising debts, a phenomenon that has been steadily rising since the 1970s. While the causes behind the farmers’ crushing debt and resultant suicides are complex—ranging from unfair government floor prices for cotton to international trade agreements skewed in favor of other countries—GM seeds do appear to play a role.

The Risk to Organic Farmers: Even when a farmer isn’t growing GM crops, contamination can easily occur—through seed mixing or pollen drift from neighboring GM fields. While this contamination is troubling for those of us who wish to avoid GMOs, it can be an economic disaster for organic and family farmers. Read more »

How can we avoid GMOs?

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There are several choices you can make when buying groceries and eating out to try and avoid GMOS.

1. Look for the Non-GMO Project label.
2. Buy organic certified produce and packaged foods.
3. Avoid high-risk ingredients.
4. Be wary of non-GMO claims that lack certification.
5. Avoid processed foods.
6. Watch out for restaurants.
7. Buy and plant your own organic seeds.

http://gmoinside.org/faqs/

Chobani Uses Milk from Cows Fed GMOs. How Natural is That? - GMO Inside.com

Cows living on industrial farms are fed almost entirely GMO crops like corn, soy, alfalfa, cotton seed, and/or sugar beets. In fact, 98% of GM soy and 49% of GM corn goes to feeding livestock and poultry...........CLICK HERE TO READ AND INFORM

AT LAST...stepping up? - Glaxo Says It Will Stop Paying Doctors to Promote Drugs ~ New York Times / Katie Thomas

The British drug maker GlaxoSmithKline will no longer pay doctors to promote its products and will stop tying compensation of sales representatives to the number of prescriptions doctors write, its chief executive said Monday, effectively ending two common industry practices that critics have long assailed as troublesome conflicts of interest.     CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Autism: What's Sex Got to Do with It? ~ Psychology Today

Are you empathetic? Or are you a systemizer? That's the fundamental difference between women and men, according to a prickly theory from psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen. To him, autism is a case of the extreme male brain..............
Autism: What's Sex Got to Do with It?

Gift to the Soul: The Space of Presence ~ Tara Brach, PhD/Psychology Today

"Some months ago a friend described getting caught in this state busy-ness while trying to get her daughter to school. She was busy getting things ready while her daughter was trying to show her something. Every time her daughter would call her over she would say, “Just hang on a moment. I’ll be there in a second.” After several rounds of this, the little four-year old came out of her room tired of waiting. She said to her mother, hands on hips:

“Why are you always so busy? What’s your name? Is it President O’mama or something?”

Along with the speediness we have the sense that there is not enough time. It’s interesting to observe how often we are living with that perception. It is usually accompanied by a squeeze of anxiety......."

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING THIS ARTICLE

Congressional Republicans Reveal Secret Love for Obamacare

"As healthcare.gov slowly lurches into functionality, the battle lines around the health-care law are returning to their pre-October state. Giddy conservative hopes for the law’s immediate disintegration, or its quick repeal, have ebbed, and in their place opponents have returned to hoping that the law will fail because not many people will want to buy health insurance. Ross Douthatwarns, or perhaps fantasizes, that the immediate collapse may have been averted, but the long, slow collapse may yet beckon on the horizon...."   CLICK TO CONTINUE READING: Congressional Republicans Reveal Secret Love for Obamacare