“Evolution is speeding up, not time. Consciousness is evolving, becoming aware of itself as creation's mentor. Children are evolution's front edge. They push at boundaries... challenge the status quo...irritate convention. That is their job...to set free all that sullies the human heart and blinds the mind to the relationship between the Creator and the Created." ~ P.M.H. Atwater~
MY WORK ... MY PASSION
• Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ; Past experiences: Dream Analysis /10 Years Experience •Psychotherapist / Use of Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies /10 Years Experience •EMDR • Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship • Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment • ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) / 21 years experience •Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant • Social Justice Advocate • Child and Human Rights Advocate • Spiritual Guide and Intuitive • Certified Reiki Practitioner • Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups • Parenting Workshops • Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children • International Training: Israel & England • Critical Incident Stress Debriefing • Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer
MSW - UNC Chapel Hill
BSW - UNC Greensboro
With immense love I wish Happy Birthday to my three grandchildren!
May 22: Brannock
May 30: Brinkley
June 12: Brogan
All three have birthdays in the same 22 days of the year ....what a busy time for the family!
"An Unending Love"
This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my precious daughter Jennifer, my grand daughters Brogan and Brinkley, and my grand son Brannock. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.
The Definition of Genius
"THRIVE"
"ONLY LOVE PREVAILS" ...."I've loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more....."
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
We're threading hope like fire
Down through the desperate blood
Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This disappearing world
I'll be by your side
Hit 'em 'tween the eyes
Through the smoke and rising water
Cross the great divide
Baby till it all feels right
This disappearing world
This disappearing world
"The degree of our enlightenment is the degree of passion that we will have for the whole world." ~The Greystone Mandala
"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." ~ Winston Churchill
Kant: "We are not rich by what we possess, but what we can do without."
"A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires." ~ Paulo Coelho
“It is not the critic who counts,not the man who who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”Theodore Roosevelt
TECHNOLOGY..........
In “Conversations with God”, by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a warning I think of. I refer to it as the Atlantis passage, and I've quoted it a few times before." As I have said, this isn't the first time your civilization has been at this brink,"
God tells Walsch. "I want to repeat this, because it is vital that you hear this. Once before on your planet, the technology you developed was far greater than your ability to use it responsibly. You are approaching the same point in human history again. It is vitally important that you understand this. Your present technology is threatening to outstrip your ability to use it wisely. Your society is on the verge of becoming a product of your technology rather than your technology being a product of your society. When a society becomes a product of its own technology, it destroys itself."
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Toronto Hearings to examine 'state crime' of 9/11
Auto industry loans worked, Cantor angry about that
Is Rick Perry's Budget Feeding Texas Wildfires? Local Fire Departments Suffer $23 Million in Cuts
READ MORE...
The Bin Laden Cover-up / Pentagon Scrubs Documents to Hide Truth
Friday, September 16, 2011
The Power of Authentic Smiles / Guy Winch, PhD
Published on December 2, 2010 by Guy Winch, Ph.D. in The Squeaky Wheel
Because we view complaints as acts of self-assertion rather than the requests for help they indeed are, we often fail to utilize the most effective tool we have for eliciting help in complaint situations-conveying an implicit optimism about getting the outcome we want by using authentic smiles.
How smiles affect helping behaviorAuthentic smiles convey optimism and strong confidence that the complaint reciient will respond favorably to the issue we're presenting, thus making them more likely to do so. It all boils down to how authentic smiles effect our mood and the mood of those who are exposed to them. Authentic smiles have the power to elicit a reflexive response in the recipient-they smile back. Consequently, we can induce a better mood in others simply by flashing them authentic smiles. Smiles can be a powerful tool in complaint situations because people tend to be far more helpful when they are in a good mood.
The impact of mood on helping behavior has been demonstrated using mood enhancing devices such as sunshine and even cookies. Smiles are equally effective in inducing good mood and they have the added advantage of being readily available, glycemic friendly and weatherproof. The problem is that flashing an authentic smile is not necessarily easy after we've waited fifteen minutes to speak to the service representative we view as responsible for the fact that our new auto-drip coffee maker refuses to drip.
Reminding ourselves of these facts will help us manage our frustration so we can flash an authentic smile at the manager or service representative and increase their motivation to help us. Authentic smiles are also called Duchenne smiles, for the French physician Guillaume Duchenne, who studied the physiology of facial expressions in the nineteenth century. The question is how does one tell the difference between an authentic smile and a forced one?
Why crow's feet are good for happiness despite what the Botox industry thinksTake a trip down memory lane and look at your class yearbook pictures from middle school (if your pictures are from the 70s or the 80s, try not to get too distracted by the hair...). It shouldn't take long for us to realize that we can indeed distinguish between authentic smiles and smiles that appear forced even if we cannot put our finger on exactly what it is that makes a smile seem un-authentic (and no, it's not the acne).
So, what does make a smile authentic? One basic thing-crow's feet. When the muscles around our mouth and lips try to go it alone by saying "Cheese!" our smile looks forced. But when we involve the muscles around our eyes and cheeks and create crow's feet, our smiles appear natural and authentic and they truly light up our faces.
Duchenne smiles are highly associated with happiness and not just because they affect our mood for the better. Studies found that people who displayed deeper crow's feet in their childhood pictures were less likely to divorce as adults than those whose childhood pictures had less intense crow's feet. And a study of smiles in pictures of baseball players found that players with deeper crow's feet lived five years longer on average than those with non-Duchenne smiles.
The steps for using authentic smiles in complaint situationsTo elicit good will in a complaint recipient our smiles must be authentic because only authentic smiles elicit authentic smiles in return. However, Duchenne smiles are not easy to fake and they can require some rehearsal to deliver convincingly. Following these steps will make you more likely to get the result you want and they will also make the entire complaint process far more pleasant for all concerned.
1. Start by practicing in the mirror. If making faces in the mirror makes you self-conscious, use a cell-phone camera to assess your progress. Try to involve your cheek muscles by thinking happy optimisitc thoughts such as I'm going to get a refund! or I hated that white dress anyway!2. The true test of any Duchenne smile is whether it elicits one in return. Take your Duchenne out for a spin. Practice on neighbors, colleagues or sale associates in stores (avoid sample sales-way too cutthroat and Darwinian). If your smile has deep crow's feet, theirs will too.
3. Once you've perfected your Duchenne smile and a complaint situation presents itself, make eye contact, say hello and flash the service representative or manager your best Duchenne smile. Then present your complaint in a calm and civil manner.
Smiles, like many effective complaining techniques, are simple tools we can all use. Indeed, once we acquire the right skill set, becoming an effective squeaky wheel, getting results and reaping emotional rewards by doing so, is often easier and more worthwhile than we realized.
Read my website blog to find out about my adventure practicing authentic smiles with the scariest worker at my local Post Office branch.
Follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch
Copyright 2010 Guy Winch
Abel, E. L., & Kruger, M. L. (2010). Smile intensity in photographs predicts longevity. Psychological Science 21 (4) 542-544
Hertenstein M.. J., et al (2009), Smile Intensity in Photographs predicts Divorce later in Life: Motivation and Emotion 33 (2) 99-105,
Rick Perry: Selling Sixth-Grade Girls' Health to the Highest Bidder? | | AlterNet
CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE .......
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
This Week, Another Racist Execution Is Set to Take Place in TX Under Rick Perry | AlterNet
An awareness-raising email!
ONE AT A TIME This probably sounds crazy, but just yesterday I was in Wal Mart looking for a wastebasket. I found some made in China for $6.99. I didn't want to pay that much so I asked the lady if they had any others. She took me to another department and they had some at $2.50 made in USA. They are just as good. Same as a kitchen rug I needed. I had to look, but I found some made in the USA and they were $3.00 cheaper. We are being brain washed that everything that comes from China and Mexico is cheaper. Not so. That is also why I don't buy cards at Hallmark anymore. They are made in China and are expensive. I buy them at Dollar Tree....50 cents each and made in USA. One Light Bulb at a Time A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would. With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American . . . Good idea . . .. one light bulb at a time . .. .. Check this out. I can verify this because I was in Lowe’s the other day for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose attachments... They were all made in China . The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose attachments there. They were made in USA. Start looking . . ... In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else - even their job. So, after reading this email, I think this lady is on the right track.. Let's get behind her! My grandson likes Hershey's candy. I noticed, though, that it is marked made in Mexico now. I do not buy it any more. My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico... now I have switched to Crest. You have to read the labels on everything.... This past weekend I was at Kroger . . . I needed 60W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets. I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an off-brand labeled, "Everyday Value." I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats they were the same except for the price . . .. The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get ready for this - the USA in a company in Cleveland , Ohio. So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day that are made right here... So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets... yep, you guessed it, Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada... The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA! I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price! My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the job you save may be your own or your neighbors! |
How to Live, Work, or Cope With a Control Freak — Self Help Daily
by Mark Tyrrell
Feeling constantly judged, micromanaged, and manipulated eventually builds resentment, bitterness, and anxiety. The lack of tolerance or credit given for any initiative of our own makes us feel subjugated, like dejected subjects of some despotic ruler whose one role is to hear and obey. Remember that control freaks are “status junkies”. Anything they feel you say or do to undermine their own sense of inflated self won’t be tolerated, regardless of your thoughts and feelings.
And whether they intended to bully or not, the fallout is that people feel steamrollered and bullied.
So how can you best deal with a control freak?
Understand that yes, you are dealing with a control freak
No matter how intelligent, ingenious, and prone to being right your control freak is, despite all that or whether they are wonderfully helpful sometimes, you still have to deal with that controlling behavior, that tyrannical bit of them. Separate all the wonderful good they might be doing through their tremendous drive to get things done from the fact that you feel totally controlled by them.
We can make excuses for other people at the same time as they make us feel acutely bad. So right here and right now, whatever their “saving graces”, understand what you have to deal with by separating in your own mind the good stuff about them from this overbearing control.
Respect your own autonomy
We all need to feel a sense of independence and self-direction. Even if the control freak is your boss, don’t feel you have to automatically say yes to every little whim and demand.
A client of mine was amazed by the idea she could sometimes turn down her boss’s demand she do unpaid overtime after work. “Treat your boss’s unreasonable orders as if they were requests,” I suggested to her. Whenever he “ordered” her to work unpaid, she would tell him she’d get back to him about it after seeing whether it was possible. This started to alter “the game”. He began to appreciate she wasn’t a doormat.
Sometimes you have to force people into the situation of behaving decently rather than waiting until they “see the light”. If you don’t behave as if your own sense of autonomy is important, than neither will the dictator in your life.
Don’t always be “nice”
Control freaks don’t play by the rules of “niceness”. Helpfulness, a willingness to pull together and “not make waves”, is part of human nature. Many of us like to help if we can because we are “hard-wired” to. Human beings are social creatures and after all, we don’t want to hurt the control freak’s feelings.
But control freaks sometimes like to meet their match. They’ll respect people who have a will and mind of their own or even those who don’t overly care whether they are liked or respected by the CF. Control freaks are so hard to please that you might waste many lifetimes trying to please, placate, and pacify them only to inevitably fail. If someone is pathologically mean with their praise or consideration of your feelings and needs, then don’t treat them as if they are not like this.
Don’t argue; it won’t work
Don’t be too nice because control freaks don’t really work in the realms of “niceness” (as opposed to charm), but don’t get into long-winded arguments trying to justify your position, either. Control freaks are great at arguing why you and everyone else in the world should feel, think, do, and say just as they see fit. Just make your point once and keep coming back to it. If you don’t want to paint your bedroom wall the color they demand is best, then tell them so but don’t feel you have to justify your position. This “broken record technique” is hugely effective. Just state your position (“I want to paint my walls lime green!”) and repeat whatever they say. They’ll soon get bored.
Life’s too short
If you don’t have to have this person in your life, consider cutting them loose to go on their way dictating and steamrollering others. We risk becoming control freaks ourselves when we feel it’s our divine role to change them. We may help others to change by adjusting our own responses, but ultimately they are responsible for themselves.
Part of their journey to maturity needs to be a realization that other people are not just puppets to be bent to their will. This is how very small children may see the world, but a mature human being knows what they can and cannot influence and control.
Some control freaks really do want to change and they might need help. I am reminded of the cartoon in which a man tells his wife: “You know, my New Year’s resolution is to stop telling you what to do all the time and I’ve also written down what your New Year’s resolutions are going to be!”
Mark Tyrrell is a trainer, therapist and author and co-founder of Hypnosis Downloads.com where he has created downloads on How to deal with the control freak and other difficult people.
"The Control Freak and Their Vulnerability"
Three Things I Learned WHile My PLane Crashed: Ric Elias/compliments of TED
Monday, September 12, 2011
Witness to a Cover-Up
CLICK HERE TO READ THIS IMPORTANT ARTICLE.......
9/11: Explosive Evidence: The Experts Speak Out
The Whistleblowers’ How-To Guide
Frederic Whitehurst and other famous U.S. whistleblowers are donating a book their lawyer wrote on how to do it right to libraries across the country. By John Solomon
Frederic Whitehurst had no idea what being a whistleblower entailed. He simply became outraged when he witnessed a colleague in the FBI laboratory giving misleading testimony in a criminal case two decades ago. So the supervisory agent decided to speak up, telling the defense experts about the inaccuracies.
CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING.......
Sunday, September 11, 2011
The criminalization of speech since 9/11
....to continue reading, click here......
They said he had weeks to live
My son Joshua was born too soon. But in the years that followed, he struggled to hold on. So did we.
BY DEBBI HARRIS
.... CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE.......
Why we can never escape our siblings
New science sheds light on how birth order and brother-sister relationships shape our lives. An expert explains
Click here to read article..........