MY WORK ... MY PASSION

• Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ; Past experiences: Dream Analysis /10 Years Experience •Psychotherapist / Use of Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies /10 Years Experience •EMDR • Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship • Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) / 21 years experience •Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant • Social Justice Advocate • Child and Human Rights Advocate • Spiritual Guide and Intuitive • Certified Reiki Practitioner • Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups • Parenting Workshops • Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children • International Training: Israel & England • Critical Incident Stress Debriefing • Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer

MSW - UNC Chapel Hill

BSW - UNC Greensboro


With immense love I wish Happy Birthday to my three grandchildren!

May 22: Brannock

May 30: Brinkley

June 12: Brogan

All three have birthdays in the same 22 days of the year ....what a busy time for the family!

"An Unending Love"

This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my precious daughter Jennifer, my grand daughters Brogan and Brinkley, and my grand son Brannock. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.




The Definition of Genius

"THRIVE"

https://youtu.be/Lr-RoQ24lLg

"ONLY LOVE PREVAILS" ...."I've loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more....."


As we are in the winter of our lives, I dedicate this to Andrew, Dr. John J.C. Jr. and Gary W., MD, (who has gone on before us). My love and admiration is unfathomable for each of you..........and what you have brought into this world.....so profoundly to me.
The metaphors are rich and provocative; we're in them now. This world is indeed disappearing, and the richest eternal world awaits us!
The intensity, as was in each of the three of us, is in yellow!
In my heart forever.........

Slowly the truth is loading
I'm weighted down with love
Snow lying deep and even
Strung out and dreaming of
Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world

We're threading hope like fire

Down through the desperate blood
Down through the trailing wire
Into the leafless wood

Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


I'll be sticking right there with it
I'll be by y
our side
Sailing like a silver bullet
Hit 'em 'tween the eyes
Through the smoke and rising water
Cross the great divide
Baby till it all feels right

Night falling on the city
Sparkling red and gold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This
disappearing world
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


TECHNOLOGY..........

In “Conversations with God”, by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a warning I think of. I refer to it as the Atlantis passage, and I've quoted it a few times before." As I have said, this isn't the first time your civilization has been at this brink,"

God tells Walsch. "I want to repeat this, because it is vital that you hear this. Once before on your planet, the technology you developed was far greater than your ability to use it responsibly. You are approaching the same point in human history again. It is vitally important that you understand this. Your present technology is threatening to outstrip your ability to use it wisely. Your society is on the verge of becoming a product of your technology rather than your technology being a product of your society. When a society becomes a product of its own technology, it destroys itself."

Monday, December 22, 2014

"The Original 7 Signs You Are An Empath" ~ by Isabella Snow

The Original 7 Signs Youre An Empath

Just to update this article a bit: When I wrote this information about Empaths, it was pretty much the only internet site that had anything written on the topic at all. It's now become a commonly discussed subject, and I'm glad for that. Before I get into the nitty gritty, let me first say that the term Empath is not simply another name for a Clairsentient, though many Clairsentients are indeed Empaths. I’ll get into this more later. That said, if you feel that you’re a clairsentient and are looking for similar information, most of these signs will apply to you as well, but be aware those born into clairsentience (as opposed to those born as Empaths, who later harness it and become clairsentient) can often discern what others are feeling, but do not actually suffer – which is a good way of telling which you are. Once you've figured out that this is what you are, you can then learn how to deal with, and eventually prevent, this kind of thing from overwhelming you.

1. When in public, do you constantly feel overwhelmed with inexplicable emotions for which you can’t determine the reason?

Example. You drop by the mall one Saturday morning. You feel great. You get into the mall, walk past a crowd of people -- and start feeling a bit strangely. It can be anything; you can feel very down, very angry, very sad, very excitable. (The key word here is very.) And you won’t have any explanation for it, you'll just feel it. In other words, you’ve suddenly gone Bi-Polar without actually having the biological deficiency that causes it. And what’s worse, you can’t turn it off. You can carry on, trying to ignore it, but eventually it will be so overwhelming to the point you just want to go home and be alone. This is the reality of an Empath – one who hasn’t yet learned how to block other people’s emotions out. Being around other people is such a harrowing experience that most of them prefer to keep their own company, living the life of a hermit. And they usually find it very much worth it.

2. Do you experience other people's physical ailments?

This is most common with those you have an emotional connection with, but can occur with anyone. A very good example of this would be suddenly feeling very lethargic and fatigued for no reason, and having to remain in bed for a day or two. You’re not sick – not really. You’re not ill. Yet, you feel that you are. Profoundly. You later find out that your “illness” coincided with a lover or family member’s sudden fatigue (resulting from legitimate illness) even though they were in another country at the time and you had no idea until after the fact. Symptoms can also manifest in the form of chest pains, cramps, migraines, etc. You basically experience it all, without contracting the actual illness.

3. Do you feel overwhelmed when watching something horrible in real life or even on television?

This one sounds silly, but viewing the news or depressing commercials designed to induce sympathy and open wallets can debilitate an Empath for several hours. While most people get upset over homeless dogs and cats, an Empath will often feel like their hearts have been lanced. That’s a literal definition, by the way. It’s not something as shallow as sympathy or even ordinary empathy. It’s a feeling of guilt and moral empathy that cannot be easily assuaged. Crying is very common, and not just during that time of month when all the emotions are out of whack!

4. Do you ALWAYS know what someone really means?

In other words, can you always, always, always tell what it is someone meant to say to you? More importantly, can you tell why they didn’t? If an Empath is face to face with someone and has just been lied to -- they will know. And they will know why. They will know if the other person is trying to spare feelings; they will know if malice was involved. In other words, they will know the intent. You cannot lie in the face of an Empath and not be caught out. While they will not often be able to suss the specifics of what you’re hiding, they will know if you mean them well or not. No exceptions. This is more than good intuition and this isn’t a hunch; this is knowing.

5. Do you feel compelled to care for anyone in pain, no matter who they are and what they’ve done to you?

A true Empath cannot walk past someone suffering and not feel a need to stop and help that person. Homeless people can be particularly difficult, as they are everywhere and little can be done to help them unless the Empath has an occupation related to this. A true Empath feels compelled to go to anyone they feel pain from, be it angst or something physical. And a true Empath's compassion will usually be accepted on the spot: People in pain, regardless of how they might normally react to strangers, will receive an Empath with open arms. They know instinctively that their pain matters to them.

6. Do people open up to you – even if you don’t want them to?

Some Empaths are the new-agey peace-loving types who want to hold hands with everyone, but many just want to be alone because they have difficulty processing everything they absorb from other people. (This is usually because they have yet to realize their abilities and haven’t learned to deal with it yet.) For an Empath, however, putting on a grumpy face doesn't keep people they barely know from drawing near and seeking compassion and empathy from them. The ill, the suffering, the weak; they are all drawn to the unconditional understanding and compassion an Empath emits. And Empaths emit it whether they want to or not.That’s not to say Empaths can’t be mean and nasty people -- they surely can be. But those particular Empaths tend to be those with profound sensitivity who've broken down inside and have no other way of keeping other’s emotions at bay. Again, these are Empaths who don’t know of their abilities.

7. Can you heal?

Most Empaths have the ability to heal. Yes, that means physically. This isn’t about Reiki or any other alternative modality, though they may seem similar in concept. An Empath heals instinctively, usually by drawing the pain or ailment out and accepting it into their own bodies. For obvious reasons, this is not recommended for anyone who doesn’t know how to keep from becoming ill in the process. In today’s day and age, everyone seems to want to be psychic to some degree. That’s probably due our evolution of consciousness as human beings. Therefore, many people reading this will likely think themselves Empathic. I cannot stress the following enough: There is nothing fun about being an Empath. It’s often a very draining and miserable existence in which you feel like you have to be entirely alone in order to survive. It is not glamorous, it is not exciting and it is painful more often than not.

You're not crazy!

Being an Empath doesn't have to be so overwhelming, but this is not something most would aspire to so don't get upset if none of this rings true for you. Everyone's got "otherworldly talents" and you needn't be an Empath to excel in the realm of conscious endeavors. If you *are* an Empath, you will know this is you, you will not be saying “Hmm.. maybe… hmm…” If you feel (without hesitation!) these apply to you as I’ve just described, then also know there are ways of coping, and I’ll get into them in future articles. With a little self-awareness you can turn your curse into gift, especially when it comes to being able to ease the emotional and physical pain of others. For now, take consolation in the knowledge that you are not crazy!
To learn more about being an Empath, read some of my other articles (you can find the links above) or try some of the resources available from other Empaths who have written books on the subject. Also, when I first wrote this article, there weren't any online support groups available, but now there are several which you can find with a quick Googling. Keep your chin up, and don't let being an Empath become an emotional burden!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Just touching base.....and, thank you!

Good morning!  I want to express my thanks to my readers, and even more, for your input. As you may have surmised, narcissism is unfortunately becoming more and more "mainstream" in this culture. While we know that everyone has to have some healthy narcissism, or one could not even effectively and confidently apply for a position, there is an abundance of malignant narcissism today.  Theorists posit that our culture is now largely narcissistic.  Their contentions are logical, and I happen to agree based on the criteria they present.

Mostly evident in males, and with greater and greater appearance in mid and late teens (even though technically it cannot be diagnosed until 18), many readers are concerned that this disorder is becoming the "new normal". No studies regarding narcissism disprove that belief. However, I leave you all to your own research.

What is more important is that we all learn how to recognize this condition, because while it initially may present in a person as a thoroughly desirable personality, it is one in which the individual is extremely cunning, cruel, and exploitative.  While they can appear completely repentant as life with that person rolls along, the fact is that it is always about them.  If they appear to be devoted to your wishes, it is because that facade is designed to get them what they want. Thus, it is still, and always, about them.

You readers have suggested some readings about the Stockholm Syndrome, almost always suffered by spouses and children of the narcissist. This is appreciated input.  Yet that leaves me with an ambivalence.  Ambivalence as to whether I "go with the flow" of my readers, in this particular case. I do not, in any case, wish to be a blog solely about narcissism.  However, I am deeply convinced that most people "cannot see it coming", i.e. it is a complex personality disorder.

That leads to the danger of centering on narcissists, and their incredibly toxic presence in anyone's life. (Their ultimate dream scenario!)  Yet, more information all around this personality certainly cannot hurt. We all have some of these traits, or we would not even begin to successfully apply for a job, or confidently give presentations in our field. However, there is a line in the sand where narcissistic people cross over into the realm where they are absolutely "dangerous to your health".  If one adds to that diagnosis traits of sadism, the damage to those people (spouses, friends, children) around the narcissist may be extreme.  One might compare it to swimming in a peaceful, but putrescent pool.

So, bear with me readers.  I will post articles I hope will give some depth to more understanding of this toxic and dangerously virulent disorder.

I hope all of you are enjoying the last throes of pre-holiday celebration.  Breathe, relax and enjoy.  Gratitude is in order!


Madelaine

How to Spot a Narcissist | World of Psychology

CLICK TO READ: How to Spot a Narcissist | World of Psychology

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Excerpt from the Waldorf Parents' Forum



Sunday, February 6, 2011


The Choleric Child

Full of fiery energy, the choleric child is often the one that parents and teachers find the most challenging to work with. They are thin skinned, quick to outbursts of emotion. People around them often experience them as intense, oppositional or angry. What, the adults who care for them ask, is going on inside these children? What can we do to control and help them?

Fire is the element of the choleric child. Like the phlegmatic child, the choleric child has an active metabolism. But unlike the Phlegmatic child whose energy is stored for later use, the choleric child's energy is expressed as heat and activity. Parents might find it difficult to keep clothes on this child. Teachers frequently observe beeswax crayons melting in this child's hands as she works. Whatever grabs the imagination of the choleric child is pursued with vigor, and when roused, her temper may flare suddenly. However, like a fire, if the emotion or effort is not fed, it will quickly die out, leaving nothing but the ashes of that which inspired it. If the choleric child, roused to sudden anger, is left alone until the emotion has run its course, she will likely have difficulty remembering what exactly sparked the outburst. Similarly, the choleric child, inspired with an idea, will embark vigorously on a project. But if she does not meet success and encouragement, she will quickly become discouraged and lose interest.

It is this quick rise and fall of emotions and interests, and the intensity surrounding the choleric child that parents and teachers, and even other children find challenging to face. Take, however, a step back and really observe this child of fire, because when he feels understood, you will have a loyal ally and friend.

Like the wood and coal that fuels a fire, the body of the choleric child, particularly the limbs, often appears sturdy and thick, but not soft. When he walks, his feet land firmly on the ground, and he is likely to wear out the heels of his shoes before he outgrows them. He takes pride in his strength and physical capabilities and loves to test them out against his friends in a variety of physical challenges from throwing a baseball to wrestling and fighting. You might find that the choleric child enjoys spicy foods, dislikes being wet, speaks loudly, and focuses intensely on a single thing, though he can't sustain the focus over a prolonged period. For this reason both baseball and football are good sports for this child with their alternating periods of intense activity and relative inaction.

Like the fire's flame, the choleric child is quick and forceful and mobile in his thinking and emotions. This can be either scary and destructive, or heartwarming, and creative. It is all a matter of proper channeling. The choleric child tends to act first and ask questions later, and often does not have a realistic concept of his effect on those around him. He will be the inspiration for action and will be the hardest worker in the group at the beginning, but will not have the patience to sustain an ongoing activity or project. Although he may not be what is usually considered a "good team player", he is necessary to a team to spark ideas and get projects off the ground. He works very well alone as well, especially when given a task with a clear goal and ending point. It is not hard work that the choleric finds difficult to face; it is the inability to see the conclusion, the culmination of the effort.

How then to manage your fiery child? Give her hard, useful, responsible work with clear beginnings and endings. Let your child chop wood, tend the fire, carry bags, and dig the garden. Give her household jobs whose results are immediately visible, such as putting things away (especially if some heavy lifting is included). All you need to do is say, "I need someone strong..." and your choleric child will volunteer.
Inevitably, though, there will be explosions of temper from time to time when your child's efforts are thwarted, or she feels unappreciated. During an outburst, the only effective thing you can do is put the child somewhere where she is safe, and others are not affected by her outbursts. It helps to have a designated place for your child to be during an outburst, such as her room. In time she will send herself there to ride out the storm of emotion. During this time it is best not to interact with the child at all, if possible. No matter what offenses pour from the child during this time, it is best not to engage, but to let the fire burn itself out. Once the fire has cooled and only the glowing embers remain, you can speak with the child, listen to her, help her achieve some perspective, and reintegrate her into the society of her family. She may very well be embarrassed by the event, and even reluctant to leave the room, having become quite self-conscious about her recent behavior. If you can get the family to act as if nothing happened, or, better yet, get the child to laugh, all will be well. Of course, if your child caused some sort of hurt or destruction, retribution must be made. But if you wait until your child has regained her equilibrium, she will be able to see the fairness of it, and the apology and retribution will come from the heart. Later your child may remember clearly how angry she was, but may not be able to pinpoint just exactly how that came to be. The memory of the event was burned up in the explosion - but any consequences she suffered will remain with her and help to guide her the next time.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Saturday, December 13, 2014

The Fractal Brain Theory & the Unification of Neuroscience with AI & Psychology - YouTube





"This Fractal Brain Theory, is the key to Artificial Intelligence and the Technological Singularity. This Theory will have immediate consequences initially in the worlds of Science and Technology, but will then impact dramatically on the Social, Political & Economic realms.

Furthermore the Fractal Brain Theory also holds the key to explaining the nature of Consciousness. Wai will show that the reason why contemporary philosophers and neuroscientists haven't been able to find the answer is because they are asking the wrong question by assuming that consciousness reduces to the physical brain. He will explain how the physical brain and the entire illusory physical universe reduces ultimately to One consciousness that may be called God. Thus revealing explicitly and in some detail the biggest secret and ultimate truth behind World history; i.e. that the mystery of Consciousness and the mystery of God are really one and same. And so the God in the Gaps, that science hasn't yet explained, i.e. Brain, Mind & Consciousness; was where the True God of Esoteric Religion, was waiting to be discovered and revealed all along. i.e. The Christ within, Krishna within, Buddha within, Allah closer to you than your Jugular Vein etc.

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

Stop Traumatizing Yourself by Watching the News | Psychology Today

"Most people fill their heads with images of death and destruction every day by following "the news." Profound anxiety results, and you may not even know it's caused by your news habit. You may think you must follow "the news" to be a good person. Consider the possibility that....."   
CLICK TO READ REST OF ARTICLE

Friday, December 12, 2014

Stockholm Syndrome | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network

"Described as a victim’s emotional “bonding” with their abuser, Stockholm Syndrome was given its name following a hostage situation in Stockholm, Sweden when, following the end of a bank robbery, the hostages identified with and supported their captor...."

(This phenomenon exists frequently in marriages and similar relationships, when there is emotional and verbal abuse, gaslighting and chronic severe demeaning. Trying to understand what is really happening often saves the victim and the children,)


CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE...

DC Voted to Legalize Marijuana. Congress Should Not Overrule It. | The Nation

CLICK HERE TO READ...

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Connecting the science of mind, brain, and spirit with perspectives from the Institute of Noetic Sciences.

"Is consciousness generated by the activity of the brain or is it a fundamental property of the universe? The IONS research team has been studying this question for several years using various kinds of optical systems. Our latest experiments, published recently in the journal Physics Essays, confirm our earlier findings. This line of research suggests that consciousness may play a key role in how the physical world manifests.....
CLICK TO CONTINUE READING ARTICLE

Thursday, November 27, 2014

A Gift from Thich Nhat Hanh to All of Us | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

"The most recent update from Plum Village shows that while his condition is still in a critical stage he has opened his eyes and even reached out to touch the attendant next to him. In continuing this time of honoring his life I wanted to share with you one of the gifts he has given..." CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Barbara Spradling (Wilson's new wife): 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know | Heavy.com

Spradling alleged to have strong ties to KKK....

Barbara Spradling: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know | Heavy.com

Justice Scalia Explains What Was Wrong With The Ferguson Grand Jury | ThinkProgress

Justice Scalia Explains What Was Wrong With The Ferguson Grand Jury | ThinkProgress

Unorthodox police procedures emerge in grand jury documents - The Washington Post

Unorthodox police procedures emerge in grand jury documents - The Washington Post

Read Darren Wilson's full grand jury testimony - The Washington Post

Read Darren Wilson's full grand jury testimony - The Washington Post

Unorthodox police procedures emerge in grand jury documents - The Washington Post

IMPORTANT EVIDENTIARY DISCLOSURES: Unorthodox police procedures emerge in grand jury documents - The Washington Post

Experts Weigh Officer’s Decisions Leading to Fatal Shooting of Michael Brown: They say "NO!" - NYTimes.com

Experts Weigh Officer’s Decisions Leading to Fatal Shooting of Michael Brown - NYTimes.com

Shocking mistake in Darren Wilson grand jury | MSNBC

Shocking mistake in Darren Wilson grand jury | MSNBC

Why didn't Darren Wilson retreat and wait for back-up, former police chiefs say, as they insist he did not have to shoot Michael Brown  | Daily Mail Online

Why didn't Darren Wilson retreat and wait for back-up, former police chiefs say, as they insist he did not have to shoot Michael Brown  | Daily Mail Online

Darren Wilson and the violent confrontation with his wife's ex-lover: Court documents reveal volatile home life of officer who shot Michael Brown - which grand jury was never told of | Daily Mail Online

CLICK THIS TO READ! Darren Wilson and the violent confrontation with his wife's ex-lover: Court documents reveal volatile home life of officer who shot Michael Brown - which grand jury was never told of | Daily Mail Online

Darren Wilson's Demon: The Fear of a Black Man~The New Yorker

Darren Wilson and the Fear of a Black Man

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

19 Signs You're Married to a Narcissist- the Narcissists Wife

The narcissist's wife...the endless supply.  She stays because she traded her soul for a devil.  There are many ways of "soul-trading", but this continues to affect entire generations.
"Often, if a couple is in therapy, the narcissist can put on such a great show that their partner ends up looking like they are the problem, and the therapist, if not knowledgeable about narcissism, they will not see the real issue....." CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Friday, November 21, 2014

Is Bill Cosby a Serial Rapist? | Psychology Today

"Some of Cosby’s accusers say he positioned himself as a father figure before attacking them, then used his wealth and influence to silence and intimidate them. Is it any wonder they didn’t come forward sooner?"      CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

Thursday, November 20, 2014

When is it Worth Saying Something Controversial? | Psychology Today

"We all think things we don’t say. And usually that’s wise, but here’s a safe place to consider what might happen if you did.
Here are 11 things that many people think but don’t say. As a thought experiment, ask yourself whether and under what circumstances you might want to let ‘er rip? "  .......     CLICK HERE TO READ MORE...

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

How a Mother's Love Changes a Child's Brain

"Nurturing a child early in life may help him or her develop a larger hippocampus, the brain region important for learning, memory and stress responses, a new study shows......" How a Mother's Love Changes a Child's Brain

Narcissistic Love versus Unconditional Love~Caroline Van Kimmenade

The Dream versus the Reality

When it comes to loving a narcissist, all we can really do is love a dream we have of them. This dream can be so strong (and beautiful) that it becomes something that we come to superimpose on the true narcissist. Every little positive spark of something nice they said or did, enforces the “truth” of that dream. This keeps us at a seemingly safe distance from what is really happening. The dream keeps the painful reality at bay. However, at some point, it’s necessary to see the dream for what it is and recognize that it is impossible to love or be loved by the narcissist.  It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just that they have made themselves completely unavailable to unconditional love.....CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING THIS ARTICLE

Monday, November 17, 2014

OUR COMBAT TROOPS, AND "COMING HOME"......printed again, because WE DO NOT FORGET!



My life has been frequently touched and very deeply moved, by the bravery and sacrifices of our troops. Through each war, I have had dear and precious friends who gave the most unfathomable gift of all ... their life.  

Others ... thankfully, they came home.  Many who returned are fractured by the horrors they have experienced, and struggle to blend back into this life. Many have become piercingly aware of many of this life's superficialities. They still hold their memories of war, and try to make them consistent with all of their other values.  It is profoundly moving to hear the inner paths they traverse to heal themselves. Yet.....many memories remain despite some transformation.  Yeoman work.

Many men believe they are brave. It is not until you hear a narrative, or a testimony,  of the service days of a combat soldier ... that you can even slightly proceed with your personal re-definition and imagination of the word "bravery".

In the end, we  decline trying.... in some way ... to create the most remote connection with the combat life of an honorable soldier.  We avoid that reality for it is simply too painful.  But, it is true that stretching our imagination to a maximum point of shock and horror is sometimes the only road "in".  In, to the heart and soul of that soldier.  One can almost get secondary PTSD, in merely hearing these stories. For me, each one is a life-altering experience, and a psychological journey to the deep is a requirement. It is then that the word  "hero" becomes self-defining.

Some men toy with life, centered on greed and destruction.  They assume they are brave, or masculine, because they have fired a gun.  It is not until you weep just hearing the story of a combat veteran / soldier, that one can flesh out the essential meaning of "sacrifice", "loyalty", "bravery". It is then that you can begin to discern the quintessential and archetypal sense of character, forged through the most personally demanding moments known to man.  

Yes, I still cry, for the living soldiers and certainly for those who have died. But now the tears are celebratory. They keep honor...keep guard...in the parts of my heart that will always bear reverence for the gifts of their lives and times.

Finally, it is then, that "bravery", as some others define bravado, macho, etc., is revealed to be an insipid reality.  The truth of that word is now self-defining. ~ Madelaine Watson, MSW, CHT

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Finally, someone using critical thinking skills!

This journalist from Canada is a breath of fresh air ... and logic.  Needs no other words!


Monday, November 10, 2014

Communication Tools To Help Kids Talk About Their Feelings | Psychology Today

"Why it's important to raise kids to feel safe to express their feelings.The other morning I promised to take my 3 year old son Ari for a special breakfast treat – waffles and strawberries - before I dropped him off at daycare. Right before we left our home, I received a work related text. “Mommy, mommy, come on, let’s go for our special breakfast waffles,” Ari called over to me, while I tried to speedily answer the text. poster kids count..."CLICK TO CONTINUE READING)

10 Things Parents Should Never Say to Their Toddlers | Alternet

November 8, 2014  |

Progressive ideas are an endangered species, on the run in politics, all but extinct in schools. Watch out for these covertly regressive ideas invading our parenting of very young children. When we are doing one of the most challenging jobs around, we all need something to lean on. But while these phrases might seem like quick, smart, even benign interventions to stop unwanted behaviors, a closer look shows how they miss their goal, and worse, undermine your relationship with your 1-, 2- or 3-year-old child.(CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING) 
http://www.alternet.org/visions/10-things-parents-should-never-say-their-toddlers?paging=off&current_page=1#bookmark


Empathy Heroes: 5 People Who Changed the World By Taking Compassion to the Extreme | Alternet

..."Ever heard of “empathy marketing”? It’s the latest business buzzword. The idea is that if companies can look through their clients’ eyes and understand their desires, they will be better able to tailor their offerings and gain a competitive advantage...." CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Paul Krugman Divulges the Real Reason Why the 'Wrong About Everything' Party Won | Alternet

Paul Krugman Divulges the Real Reason Why the 'Wrong About Everything' Party Won | Alternet

The Tapping Solution - YouTube

The Tapping Solution - YouTube

Gut microbe levels are linked to type 2 diabetes and obesity -- ScienceDaily

Gut microbe levels are linked to type 2 diabetes and obesity -- ScienceDaily

Body weight heavily influenced by gut microbes: Genes shape body weight by affecting gut microbes -- ScienceDaily

Body weight heavily influenced by gut microbes: Genes shape body weight by affecting gut microbes -- ScienceDaily

"My Father, the Narcissist" ~ Alexander Burgemeester

My Father the Narcissist: A Narcissistic Father is a Tyrant and a Bully

Narcissistic fathers often emotionally damage their children. They disregard boundaries, manipulate their children by withholding affection (until the children “perform”), and neglect to meet the needs of their children because they are interested only in meeting their own needs. Their image and perfection is essential to narcissists; they often demand perfection from their children. The children thus feel intense pressure to be perfect and try to ramp up their talents, looks, intellect or personality to please their father. It has a high personal cost to them if they succeed in fulfilling their father’s wishes – and it can cost them just as much if they fail. It’s a no-win situation.
There is profound unhappiness among the members of a family ruled by a tyrannical narcissistic father. In many of these families, the mother simply echoes the father as she feels uncertain of herself (due to his emotional abuse) and is afraid to take her husband on. Often this destructive pattern is the result of the mother’s own childhood. Not aware of the dynamics of narcissism, she went from a cruel, tyrannical father to a brutal, domineering husband. Repetition of psychological patterns, such as is seen with abuse and narcissism, is common. The mother chooses a spouse similar to her abusive parent and raises a family in an abusive environment like the one she was raised in.

How a narcissistic father affects his children

 Daughters of narcissistic fathers frequently report that they can never feel satiated when it to comes to getting what they need from their fathers. They never got enough time with their father and would have to compete with siblings for that rare time. As a young child, a father might comment on how beautiful his daughter was. But as she grew older, he would rarely miss an opportunity to comment on her weight and attitude. The daughters often carry these concerns into adulthood, even if they were otherwise successful. With a father like this, nothing is ever good enough. Their relationship with men in the future is clouded by feelings of vulnerability and worries that they’ll be dumped for someone else. Anxiously avoiding commitment or taking on the narcissistic role are both natural ways for the daughters to keep relationships “safe”.  It’s self protective but doesn’t lead to healthy relationships.
• Sons of narcissistic fathers describe feeling that they can never measure up. Their fathers were so competitive they even compete with their sons. They either compete or pay no attention to their sons. The sons often simply accept defeat – how can they possibly win against a grown man? Sometimes they take another tact and work hard to beat their father at his own game- just to get his attention and some semblance of fatherly pride. Yet they never feel good enough even when they do succeed; they still feel empty and second rate.
Both girls and boys need to be loved by their fathers in order to feel validated as individuals. Narcissists are incapable of loving anyone other than themselves. Some of their children become narcissists themselves. That way they get their father’s attention (imitation is the highest form of flattery) and they learn from an expert how to manipulate and use people.
Having a tyrannical father is a nightmare for every member of the family except the “chosen child” (or children) whom he picks to reflect his perfect image. The chosen child is groomed to become his little clone. They have been chosen for their looks, intellect, special talents, or some other characteristic that the narcissistic father regards as valuable to him. Other children in the family are bypassed because they have not measured up to his expectations. They can be very bright, kind, considerate, or sensitive–none of this matters to the narcissistic father. He doesn’t care about the quality of his other children’s character or personality. These children suffer; they spend their whole childhoods doing their best, trying to get their father’s love and attention yet they always come up empty-handed. There is also usually the “scapegoat” child. Narcissistic fathers are often mean and cruel to these children and let them know- on a regular basis- that they are deficient, unmotivated, always wrong and too soft. They are worthless to him and are blamed for everything that goes wrong.

Characteristics of a Narcissistic Father

(From Children of the Self Absorbed: A Grownup’s Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown)
  • Turns every conversation to himself
  • Expects you to meet his emotional needs
  • Ignores the impact of his negative comments on you
  • Constantly criticizes or berates you and knows what is best for you
  • Focus on blaming rather than taking responsibility for his own behavior
  • Expects you to jump at his every need
  • Is overly involved with his own hobbies, interests or addictions ignoring your needs
  • Has high need for attention
  • Brags, sulks, complains, inappropriately teases, is flamboyant, loud and boisterous
  • Is closed minded about own mistakes. Can’t handle criticism and gets angry to shut it off
  • Becomes angry when his needs are not met and tantrums or intimidates
  • Has an attitude of “Anything you can do, I can do better”
  • Engages in one-upmanship to seem important
  • Acts in a seductive manner or is overly charming
  • Is vain and fishes for compliments. Expects you to admire him
  • Isn’t satisfied unless he has the “biggest” or “best”
  • Seeks status. Spends money only to impress others
  • Forgets what you have done for him in the past but keeps reminding you that you owe him today
  • Neglects the family to impress others. Does it all: Is a super person to gain admiration
  • Threatens to abandon you if you don’t go along with what he wants
  • Does not obey the law-sees himself above the law
  • Does not expect to be penalized for failure to follow directions or conform to guidelines
  • Ignores your feelings and calls you overly sensitive or touchy if you express feelings
  • Tells you how you should feel or not feel
  • Cannot listen to you and cannot allow your opinions
  • Is more interested in his own concerns and interests than yours
  • Is unable to see things from any point of view other than his own
  • Wants to control what you do and say-tries to micromanage you
  • Attempts to make you feel stupid, helpless and inept when you do things on your own
  • Has poor insight and cannot see the impact his selfish behavior has on you
  • Has shallow emotions and interests
  • Exploits others with lies and manipulations.
  • Uses emotional blackmail to get what he wants
  • May engage in physical or sexual abuse of children
The tyrannical narcissistic father is a bully- a cruel, lying, arrogant person. He is a tyrant that is totally entrenched in his grandiose world and insistent that everyone follow his commands. He is emotionally abusive and can cause significant emotional damage to all family members. Unfortunately, his behaviors cause the relationships within a family to be toxic and can cause lifelong wounds.

References:

http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/tyrannical-narcissistic-fathers-push-everyone-around/
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_know_if_your_father_is_a_narcissist
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201303/the-narcissistic-father

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

"The truth is like a lion....."




“The truth is like a lion. You don’t have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself.” - St. Augustine (354–430)

Monday, October 27, 2014

"Native American Prayer for the Grieving" ~ unknown source

I give you this one thought to keep:
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush
of quiet birds in circled flight;
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone.
I am with you in each new dawn......

Big Pharma has owned Ebola vaccine for years; waiting for virus to kill enough people for it to be profitable - NaturalNews.com

"The truth is finally coming out about the Ebola crisis and its real purpose, which appears to be to sell more vaccines. As it turns out, the drug industry has had Ebola vaccines in the pipeline for years, but it has been waiting for just the right time to release them for maximum profits, unveiling just a little bit more about the true agenda behind all the current Ebola fear-mongering."

Learn more:  http://www.naturalnews.com/047395_Ebola_vaccine_Big_Pharma_profiteering.html#ixzz3HLqhEEmQBig Pharma has owned Ebola vaccine for years; waiting for virus to kill enough people for it to be profitable - NaturalNews.com

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Dr. He Said, She said: Codependency vs. true love — how to tell them apart - Del Mar Times | Del Mar Times

"What defines codependence or codependency is the way that: 1) we place the needs of others first to the exclusion of our own; 2) our self-esteem is dependent on gaining the approval of others; 3) we worry excessively about how others may respond to our feelings, so we walk on eggshells or tiptoe around each other; and 4) how all of this makes it very difficult for us to feel like we can be free to be ourselves in relationship.
Many of you have probably heard of codependency as it applies to those who have grown up in alcoholic households, particularly the Children of Alcoholics (COA) experience"...... CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Decoding Excuses for Abuse | David Adams

"Ray Rice essentially said that "Alcohol made me do it." Before they have taken responsibility and committed themselves to real change, most abusers make excuses for their violence. "Alcohol made me do it," is one of them, and is no less of an excuse than "She provoked me," or "I lost control," or "I was under a lot of stress." But based on my survey of people who attend an abuser intervention program, most were not intoxicated when they hit, grabbed, or kicked their intimate partner...." CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Sunday, October 12, 2014

"The Narcissist as Sadist"

Narcissists rarely enjoy inflicting pain for no reason,  BUT sadists do......and, narcissists act sadistically when behaving this way generates or yields Narcissistic Supply;
And in order to punish sources of narcissistic supply who are perceived by the narcissist to be intentionally frustrating and withholding....well, read the article.

Read this profile...chances are you know someone like this.    CLICK HERE TO READ

The Question of Forgiveness, And It Is a Question | Psychology Today

"Along with the Christian value on forgiveness and the Positive Psychologymovement, aka the “Science of Happiness’, many have adopted the concept of forgiveness without thinking about it critically. Emerging from Positive Psychology is the notion that granting forgiveness is good for one's health. They point to studies showing that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hang onto anger.
While it has been found that harboring angry feelings can affect our health, and there certainly is link between positive emotions and the health of the immune system, this knowledge has been   distorted..." by CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Life in Color: Green, Green Pictures -- National Geographic

Life in Color: Green, Green Pictures -- National Geographic

Armed contractor with criminal record was on elevator with Obama in Atlanta - The Washington Post

My wish, and that of many others, especially after today's congressional hearing: remove Julia Pierson ASAP! (This link has a video on that.)
"A security contractor with a gun and three prior convictions for assault and battery was allowed on an elevator with President Obama during a Sept. 16 trip to Atlanta, violating Secret Service protocols, according to three people familiar with the incident...." CLICK HERE TO READ

FASCINATING ARTICLE: Mice Inherit the Fears of Their Fathers – Phenomena: Only Human

"There’s no question that trauma gets handed down from one generation to the next.
In one highly publicized example, researchers in New York studied several dozen women who were pregnant on September 11, 2001, and had been in the vicinity of the terrorist attacks. Some of these women developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and this group shows lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their saliva than do those who did not develop PTSD. But here’s the rub: At 9 months old, the babies of the women with PTSD have significantly lower cortisol levels than babies of healthy mothers. ...."CLICK HERE TO READ

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

NO SALUTE to the irrational!

For the hyper-reactive, excessively emotional individuals and media who obsess about the President's "mug salute" (seriously?), I paste this from Snopes. God knows the utter exhaustion any of them might experience after trips and jet lag.....well, I won't waste any more time.  Their obsession and childish exhortations are embarrassing to this country.


According to standard military protocol, it is not appropriate for the President of the United States to return salutes from uniformed military personnel because, although the President holds the title of Commander-in-Chief of the U.S. armed forces, he is not himself a member of the military, nor does he wear a uniform. The tradition of U.S. presidents' returning salutes is a fairly recent one which began with the administration of President Ronald Reagan in 1981: 

Barack Obama went to a gym at a military base in Hawaii nd did something positively Reaganesque — he returned a Marine's salute.

In so doing, he wandered directly into the middle of a thorny debate: Should U.S. presidents return military salutes or not?

Longstanding tradition requires members of the military to salute the president. The practice of 

presidents returning that salute is more recent — Ronald Reagan started it in 1981.

Reagan's decision raised eyebrows at the time. Dwight Eisenhower, a former five-star general, did not return military salutes while president. Nor had other presidents.

John Kline, then Reagan’s military aide and now a Minnesota congressman, advised him that it went against military protocol for presidents to return salutes.

Kline said in a 2004 op-ed piece in The Hill that Reagan ultimately took up the issue with Gen. Robert Barrow, then commandant of the Marine Corps.

Barrow told Reagan that as commander in chief of the armed forces, he was entitled to offer a salute — or any sign of respect he wished — to anyone he wished, Kline wrote, adding he was glad for the change.

Every president since Reagan has followed that practice, even those with no military experience.

The debate over saluting has persisted, with some arguing against it for protocol reasons, others saying it represents an increasing militarization of the civilian presidency.

"The gesture is of course quite wrong: Such a salute has always required the wearing of a uniform," author and historian John Lukacs wrote in The New York Times in 2003. "It represents an exaggeration of the president's military role."

Read more at http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/photos/cellsalute.asp#mhELH0BCAeTHpYhO.99

Monday, September 22, 2014

Cogent ethnographic film on medical pluralism............

An ethnographic film on medical pluralism by Hugo De Burgos.......

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"