MY WORK ... MY PASSION

• Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ; Past experiences: Dream Analysis /10 Years Experience •Psychotherapist / Use of Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies /10 Years Experience •EMDR • Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship • Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) / 21 years experience •Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant • Social Justice Advocate • Child and Human Rights Advocate • Spiritual Guide and Intuitive • Certified Reiki Practitioner • Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups • Parenting Workshops • Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children • International Training: Israel & England • Critical Incident Stress Debriefing • Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer

MSW - UNC Chapel Hill

BSW - UNC Greensboro


With immense love I wish Happy Birthday to my three grandchildren!

May 22: Brannock

May 30: Brinkley

June 12: Brogan

All three have birthdays in the same 22 days of the year ....what a busy time for the family!

"An Unending Love"

This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my precious daughter Jennifer, my grand daughters Brogan and Brinkley, and my grand son Brannock. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.




The Definition of Genius

"THRIVE"

https://youtu.be/Lr-RoQ24lLg

"ONLY LOVE PREVAILS" ...."I've loved you for a thousand years; I'll love you for a thousand more....."


As we are in the winter of our lives, I dedicate this to Andrew, Dr. John J.C. Jr. and Gary W., MD, (who has gone on before us). My love and admiration is unfathomable for each of you..........and what you have brought into this world.....so profoundly to me.
The metaphors are rich and provocative; we're in them now. This world is indeed disappearing, and the richest eternal world awaits us!
The intensity, as was in each of the three of us, is in yellow!
In my heart forever.........

Slowly the truth is loading
I'm weighted down with love
Snow lying deep and even
Strung out and dreaming of
Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world

We're threading hope like fire

Down through the desperate blood
Down through the trailing wire
Into the leafless wood

Night falling on the city
Quite something to behold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


I'll be sticking right there with it
I'll be by y
our side
Sailing like a silver bullet
Hit 'em 'tween the eyes
Through the smoke and rising water
Cross the great divide
Baby till it all feels right

Night falling on the city
Sparkling red and gold
Don't it just look so pretty
This disappearing world
This
disappearing world
This disappearing world
This disappearing world


TECHNOLOGY..........

In “Conversations with God”, by Neale Donald Walsch, there is a warning I think of. I refer to it as the Atlantis passage, and I've quoted it a few times before." As I have said, this isn't the first time your civilization has been at this brink,"

God tells Walsch. "I want to repeat this, because it is vital that you hear this. Once before on your planet, the technology you developed was far greater than your ability to use it responsibly. You are approaching the same point in human history again. It is vitally important that you understand this. Your present technology is threatening to outstrip your ability to use it wisely. Your society is on the verge of becoming a product of your technology rather than your technology being a product of your society. When a society becomes a product of its own technology, it destroys itself."

Monday, May 28, 2012

"Big Fiscal Phonies" - New York Times/Krugman

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/28/opinion/krugman-fiscal-phonies.html


OP-ED COLUMNIST

Big Fiscal Phonies



Quick quiz: What’s a good five-letter description of Chris Christie, the Republican governor of New Jersey, that ends in “y”?
Fred R. Conrad/The New York Times
Paul Krugman

The obvious choice is, of course, “bully.” But as a recent debate over the state’s budget reveals, “phony” is an equally valid answer. And as Mr. Christie goes, so goes his party.
Until now the attack of the fiscal phonies has been mainly a national rather than a state issue, with Paul Ryan, the chairman of the House Budget Committee, as the prime example. As regular readers of this column know, Mr. Ryan has somehow acquired a reputation as a stern fiscal hawk despite offering budget proposals that, far from being focused on deficit reduction, are mainly about cutting taxes for the rich while slashing aid to the poor and unlucky. In fact, once you strip out Mr. Ryan’s “magic asterisks” — claims that he will somehow increase revenues and cut spending in ways that he refuses to specify — what you’re left with are plans that would increase, not reduce, federal debt.
The same can be said of Mitt Romney, who claims that he will balance the budget but whose actual proposals consist mainly of huge tax cuts (for corporations and the wealthy, of course) plus a promise not to cut defense spending.
Both Mr. Ryan and Mr. Romney, then, are fake deficit hawks. And the evidence for their fakery isn’t just their bad arithmetic; it’s the fact that for all their alleged deep concern over budget gaps, that concern isn’t sufficient to induce them to give up anything — anything at all — that they and their financial backers want. They’re willing to snatch food from the mouths of babes (literally, via cuts in crucial nutritional aid programs), but that’s a positive from their point of view — the social safety net, says Mr. Ryan, should not become “a hammock that lulls able-bodied people to lives of dependency and complacency.” Maintaining low taxes on profits and capital gains, and indeed cutting those taxes further, are, however, sacrosanct.
Still, Mr. Ryan and Mr. Romney are playing to a national audience. Are Republican governors, who have to deal with real budget constraints, different? Well, there have been many claims to that effect; Mr. Christie, in particular, has been widely held up, not least by himself, as an example of a politician willing to make tough choices.
But last week we got to see him facing an actual tough choice — and aside from the yelling-at-people thing, he proved himself just another standard fiscal phony.
Here’s the story: For some time now Mr. Christie has been touting what he calls the “Jersey comeback.” Even before his latest outburst, it was hard to see what he was talking about: yes, there have been some job gains in the McMansion State since Mr. Christie took office, but they have lagged gains both in the nation as a whole and in New York and Connecticut, the obvious points of comparison.
Yet Mr. Christie has been adamant that New Jersey is on the way back, and that this makes room for, you guessed it, tax cuts that would disproportionately benefit the wealthy.
Last week reality hit: David Rosen, the state’s independent, nonpartisan budget analyst, told legislators that the state faces a $1.3 billion shortfall. How did the governor respond?
First, by attacking the messenger. According to Mr. Christie, Mr. Rosen — a veteran public servant whose office usually makes more accurate budget forecasts than the state’s governor — is “the Dr. Kevorkian of the numbers.” Civility!
By the way, even Mr. Christie’s own officials are predicting a major budget shortfall, just not quite as big. And the two big credit-rating agencies, Moody’s and Standard & Poor’s, have recently issued warnings about New Jersey’s budget situation, which S.& P. called “structurally unbalanced” because of the governor’s optimistic revenue assumptions.
New Jersey, then, is still in dire fiscal shape. So is our tough-talking governor willing to reconsider his pet tax cut? Fuhgeddaboudit. Instead, he wants to fill the hole with one-shot budget gimmicks, including reneging on a promise to reduce borrowing for transportation investment and diverting funds from clean-energy programs. So much for fiscal responsibility.
Will Mr. Christie’s budget temper tantrum end speculation that he might become Mr. Romney’s running mate? I have no idea. But it really doesn’t matter: whoever Mr. Romney picks, he or she will cheerfully go along with the budget-busting, reverse Robin Hood policies that you know are coming if the former governor wins.
For the modern American right doesn’t care about deficits, and never did. All that talk about debt was just an excuse for attacking Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security and food stamps. And as for Mr. Christie, well, he’s just another fiscal phony, distinguished only by his fondness for invective.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Friday, May 25, 2012

"The Narcissistic Continuum" blog

I have just discovered a wonderful blog!  The link to that blog is on the right with the others which have truly impressed me.


Life is rolling along at an incredible rate these days, and each time I go to this new (for me) site, I "get lost" in that magical forest.  The writer has so much of interest and presents in such an insightful and artful manner.  I can assure you I will be re-posting from her site soon!  However the link is here so that you do not have to wait for me.....enjoy!


This is a comment from the author, which I believe says it all:


Hi!

Thank goodness for the Internet! Don't you wonder how many people's lives would have been better had they known about narcissism "as a disorder"? Not as a sign of healthy self-regard and confidence...

I am so glad to be able to "pay it forward" and do my part educating people about unhealthy, even destructive narcissistic traits. Thank you so much for reading my blog. Keep learning and pass the message forward: Narcissism is NOT cool. It's not benign. It hurts everyone---even the narcissist. 

Narcissistic traits that are rigid and difficult to change, destroy relationships, even if the 'narcissist' does not have a personality disorder. 

Dr. Nina Brown stresses this point in her numerous books on "Destructive Narcissistic Patterns." unfortunately, people focus on whether or not the 'narcissist' has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). They assume that since the narcissist doesn't meet five of the nine criteria for a personality disorder, that their behavior will change. They may even rationalize or minimize the pain they're suffering by remaining in relationship with the narcissist. 

We have to be honest about the negative impact narcissism has on other people, whether or not the narcissist qualifies for a personality disorder.

The key thing for people to remember is this: 

If you are the one researching and learning, you are the one who's changing. The narcissist must admit he or she has a problem and then start a long trek towards mental health (and public safety). Nothing you can say, do, learn, preach or teach will help the narcissist until he or she can admit they need help.

We cannot influence people who will not allow us to influence them. This is so very difficult to accept, yet we must. 

Learn about narcissism for yourself and change your reactions to narcissists. That is the best thing we can do to stop the proliferation (and emulation) of narcissistic traits/behaviors. 


Hugs,
CZ

Monday, May 21, 2012

Preying on the Poor | The Nation

"Individually the poor are not too tempting to thieves, for obvious reasons. Mug a banker and you might score a wallet containing a month’s rent. Mug a janitor and you will be lucky to get away with bus fare to flee the crime scene. But as Business Week helpfully pointed out in 2007, the poor in aggregate provide a juicy target for anyone depraved enough to make a business of stealing from them...."




READ MORE.....Preying on the Poor | The Nation

Envy, Part of the Definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder Personality Disorder ~ Randy Kreger / Psychology Today


Envy, Part of the Definition of Narcisistic Personality Disorder

Attachment Parenting: More Guilt for Mother ~ AlterNet

Not only is 'attachment parenting' bad for women; it's not necessarily good for children, either.


READ MORE.....Attachment Parenting: More Guilt for Mother | Gender | AlterNet

Sunday, May 20, 2012

IMPORTANT: Parental Alienation Syndrome / Ludwig.F. Lowenstein Ph.D


Parental alienation or its syndrome as some prefer to call it has numerous signs, chief of which begins with a question: “Why should children who were initially close to both parents suddenly seek to reject one of them?” This tends to occur following an acrimonious separation or divorce. There is a tendency to rely too much on what a child says it wants rather than looking behind the obvious remarks. They are often ‘programmed’ by the alienating parent and this leads to false, frivolous exaggerated criticisms against the other parent. 28 signs of alienation which are not always simultaneously apparent are presented as well as 24 suggestions for remediation.


http://www.parental-alienation.info/publications/24-sigofparalisynandhowtocouitseff.htm

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

"Stop Walking On Eggshells" / Randi Kreger ~ Psychology Today



From Randi Kreger, the author of this series: 


"This is part 1 of my second series about the similarities and differences between those with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders."


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201112/interpersonal-exploitation-typical-narcissists

Monday, May 14, 2012

How to Fight: 10 Rules of Relationship Conflict Resolution / Huffinton Post


How to Fight: 10 Rules of Relationship Conflict Resolution



Great relationships develop not from the absence of conflict, but from determining an agreeable pattern for how to resolve conflict. Defining the rules of engagement for how you "fight" with someone you care about is ultimately much more important than trying to never have a disagreement.
If you care about someone, then consider adopting these 10 rules as part of the way you communicate with them when you are trying to resolve a conflict:
Rule #1: Don't yell. 
Adding emotion clouds the clarity of what actually happened. If the other person is yelling, it becomes especially important that you don't raise your voice so as to prevent a natural escalation of competing interests.
Rule #2: Always start and end the conversation by affirming that you care about the other person. 
In the midst of a disagreement, you can never underestimate the power and importance of reminding the other person that you care about them and believe in them.
Rule #3: Be open to the idea that you made a mistake even if you are sure you did not.
People rarely get upset for no reason, so there is a good chance that there is at least a kernel of truth to what they are saying.
Rule #4: Don't speak in generalities of another person's behavior; speak only to direct examples and instances of action. 
It's hard for anyone to own up to a generalization and so you'll likely just see his or her defensiveness activate. By isolating an instance of fact, everyone can quickly see where he or she was right and wrong.
Rule #5: Always work to be the first to apologize when any dispute arises.
Although the idea of waiting for the other person to apologize first seems vindicating, it's actually a guaranteed sign of how you care more about being right than in coming to a reconciliation.
Rule #6: Focus on trying to discover what's right, not who is right. 
When thinking about what happened, try to remove yourself from the situation and evaluate right and wrong based solely on the actions that took place regardless of which side you're on. Treat it as if you are refereeing someone else's game.
Rule #7: Do not cuss. 
Exaggerated language is often proof of an exaggerated understanding of what actually happened. If you swear, the other party is likely to only hear the expletives and will stop listening for any validity in what you're saying.
Rule 8: No name-calling. 
Belittling a person always shifts the focus off of resolving the actual problem. Verbal abuse is never welcome to a conflict resolution party.
Rule #9: Remind yourself the other person also cares about reconciling the relationship. 
One of the fundamental causes of many disagreements is feeling hurt that the other person is no longer considering your perspective, but if they didn't care about a resolution with you they wouldn't be fighting for one.
Rule #10: Remind yourself to never expect the other person to fill a hole in your life that only God can fill. 
Sometimes we fall into the trap of placing improper expectations on other people because we are hoping for them to satisfy a need in our life that they are not really capable of satisfying.
If we are fighting with someone, it means we both care about finding the best course of action and we both care about preserving the relationship. If we didn't care about one another, then we would just ignore each other and leave.
The reason these 10 rules are important is because as long as they are in place, then no disagreement or conflict will ever shake the critical bedrock of knowing that the other person cares about you. As long as we know the other person cares about us, it will give us a common ground to work from as we try to unite two seemingly conflicted views.
For more by Rory Vaden, click here.
For more on emotional intelligence, click here.
Follow Rory Vaden on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rory_vaden

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Sacred Love

Sacred Love Connects Us All
The Web of Love is an energetic web which connects the sacred essence of all beings in ou


Sacred Love Connects Us All

The Web of Love is an energetic web which connects the sacred essence of all beings in our world. 







READ MORE: Sacred Love (From Web of Love.org)

Peter Russell on Paradigm Shift (VIDEO)

Peter Russell on Paradigm Shift

"How the Ayn Rand-Loving Right Is Like a Bunch of Teen Boys Gone Crazy" ~ Sara Robinson/Alternet



Flowers are nice, but this Mother's Day, what I really want is for these immature boys to grow up already.........


CONTINUE READING: http://www.alternet.org/teaparty/155393/how_the_ayn_rand-loving_right_is_like_a_bunch_of_teen_boys_gone_crazy/

Photo Credit: ShutterStock.com
  

Friday, May 11, 2012

"My Mother, Myself" ~ Terri Apter, Ph.D/Psychology Today

Mother, Damned-est


Mother
Who has a difficult mother?
I pose the question to a group of teenage girls, who raise their hands high. Grown women, too, nod knowingly, while adding, "I hope I don't turn out to be like her."
Teenage boys and men are, of course, less absorbed with wondering how to be different from Mom. Nonetheless, their highly charged love and empathy with her can make them uneasy about regulating closeness and distance.
In a sense, difficult mothers are the norm. Our need for a mother's attention, appreciation, and understanding is great; our expectations are high. We tend to be critical of responses that are not precisely what we hope for. Her shortcomings—the endless reminders to be careful; her compulsive checking-up whether you have your keys as you head out the door, when you forgot them only once, two years ago; her inability to read an instruction manual—irritate and embarrass us, because we retain our idealization of the powerful nurturer of infancy.............

READ MORE: http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201204/my-mother-myself/mother-damned-est



"Mitt, the prep-school sadist" ~ Joan Walsh / Salon


His attacks on gay students and disabled teachers reveal a preppy, entitled cruelty. Not remembering makes it worse...........


READ MORE: Mitt, the prep-school sadist

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"

"there were no words, but images flooded every cell in her being ...4 and a half decades!"