Are You Older Than Dirt?

Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?' 

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.  'All the food was slow.' 

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?' 'It was a place called 'at home,' I explained. !  'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.' 
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

Here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it : Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. 

My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19.  It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God.  It came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people... 
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line.  Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
  
Pizzas were not delivered to our home... but milk, bread, ice and coal were.

  All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers --my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week.  He had to get up at 6AM every morning.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive. 
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES:

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. 
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals. 

Older Than Dirt Quiz : Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about Ratings at the bottom. 
1.Candy cigarettes
2.Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes 
3.Home milk delivery in glass bottles 
4. Party lines on the telephone
5.Newsreels before the movie 
6.TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate])
7.Peashooters 
8. Howdy Doody 
9. 45 RPM records 
10.Hi-fi's
11. Metal ice trays with lever 
12. Blue flashbulb
13.Cork popguns 
14. Studebakers..... I worked there for one 11 hour day in 1962.
15. Wash tub wringers 

If you remembered 0-3 = You're still young
If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older 
If you remembered 7-10  = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered

11-15 =You're older than dirt! 

"The Spiritual Life" by Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

The Spiritual Life

by Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

The French philosopher, Teilhard DeChardin, once wrote: "We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience. Rather we are spiritual beings having a physical experience."

If you define "spirituality" as any experience that is not available to our five senses, then the majority of our life experiences are spiritual. Concepts like peace, joy, love, truth, beauty, connection, surrender, bliss and fulfillment are all spiritual in nature. Indeed, life itself is a spiritual experience.

Spirituality may have nothing to do with "religion" or "religiosity." It is not the same as "morality" or the "right way" to live. It rarely has anything to do with "doctrines" or "ethics." Spirituality can be described, however. Some aspects of spirituality may include: an expanded self-awareness, particularly of your true nature; the experience of joy, inner peace and love; and the realization of your essential unity with all of the universe/creation.

The evolutionary growth of your spirit follows some known principles. It usually begins with an "awakening" to the awareness that there is more to being alive than we can ever know. This awakening can be sudden or gradual. It can be a sudden flash of insight ("a light bulb moment") or a slow "dawning" of what being alive really means.

This awakening of consciousness leads to an intense desire to know more. This desire is often referred to as "spiritual hunger." We long for more. More experiences. More awareness. More knowledge. More of spiritual unity.

Then we usually let go of all previously held ideas, habits and behaviors. We lose our old "self." We let go of Mind and Ego. This loss evolves into a sense of emptiness and is often called "the dark night of the soul." From that darkness emerges a new awareness, a new identity, a new sense of self that feels more "real" than the one we lost. People often refer to this as a spiritual "rebirth."

Following the experience of being reborn, we then integrate our new self into a new lifestyle or "new way of being in the world."  We reach "spiritual maturity" when the search for knowledge is replaced with living from the center of our being; when we no longer seek the truth, rather we live in it; when we always love rather than fear; when we realize our essential unity with the Universe, or Universal Intelligence, or Life Force, or God (whatever you prefer).

You can identify spiritually mature persons by some of the following qualities:

• They function on the principles of love, rather than the habits of fearful defense.
• They respond from within themselves, rather than react to the people and events that are outside their skin. 
• They live as they consciously choose, usually very simply.
• They are graceful in their responses to others.
• They experience "bliss" on a regular basis, not just when meditating or praying. 
• They maintain internal equanimity and calm.
• They are often delightfully humorous.
• They are non-hostile.
• They relate to others in healthy and beneficial ways.
• They reflect their true nature in all they do. 
• They are insightful, quick to learn, open to new experiences and eager to make themselves, others and the world more loving and peaceful.

The benefits of developing your spiritual life can include: getting along with others much better; contributing positively to all your relationships; bringing your healthiest and best to your service; acknowledging the true nature of others as the same as yours; experiencing more belonging, vitality, joy, inner peace, and love within your experience of being alive. Are not such benefits worth the risk of growing spiritually? Perhaps your own spiritual growth is the primary purpose for your being alive in the first place.

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and Licensed Psychologist.  He is available for coaching in any area presented in "Practical Psychology."  As your Coach, his only agenda is to assist you in creating the lifestyle you genuinely desire. The initial coaching session is free.  Contact him: (970) 568-0173 or E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com 

"Wisdom of the Ages" by Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

WISDOM OF THE AGES 

By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. 

Someone once said, "If we do not learn from our mistakes in the past, we are bound to repeat them" (or something like that).  What might we learn from the wisdom of sages of long ago?  If we learn from the very wise people in human history, perhaps today we can repeat what benefited humanity back then. 

One of China's best loved books of wisdom is the "Tao Te Ching."  It was written in the fifth Century B.C. by a man named, Lao Tzu.  It has come down to us as a "classic of world literature" and Lao Tzu's sayings may be very familiar to us.  For example: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."  Back then, Tzu wrote it as a guide for wise political leaders.  I hope the example below will serve the same purpose today.  

In 1985, John Heider wrote an excellent book titled, The Tao of Leadership: Lao Tzu's "Tao Te Ching" Adapted for a New Age.  He writes, "...even more important is the fact that [the] Tao Te Ching persuasively unites leadership skills and the leader's way of life: 

our work is our path." 

Since the tragic events in Tucson a few weeks ago, our leaders have been addressing the nature and quality of their discourse and language.  I hope the quote below from Heider's book will also serve as "a guide for wise political leaders." 

    

"The wise leader knows how to act effectively.  To act effectively, be aware and unbiased.  If you are aware, you will know what is happening, you will not act rashly.  If you are unbiased, you can react in a balanced and centered manner. 

"Have respect for every person and every issue directed at you.  Do not dismiss any encounter as insignificant.  But neither should you become anxious or afraid of being overwhelmed or embarrassed. 

    

"If you are attacked or criticized, react in a way that will shed light on the event.  This is a matter of being, centered and of knowing that an encounter is a dance and not a threat to your ego or existence.  Tell the truth. 

    

"If you are conscious of what is happening in a group, you will recognize emerging situations long before they have gotten out of hand.  Every situation, no matter how vast or complex it may become, begins both small and simple. 

    

"Neither avoid nor seek encounters, but be open and when an encounter arises, respond to it while it is still manageable.  There is no virtue in delaying until heroic action is needed to set things right.  In this way, potentially difficult situations become simple. 

    

"If you have not bragged about your abilities or tried to make people be the way you think they ought to be, very few group members will want to encounter you anyway." 

We need to learn from the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching written over 2,500 years ago.  Perhaps only then will we repeat it today. 

Humanity Has Reached the Point Where it Can and is Listening to the Voice of God

John Smallman, February 26, 2011

Your spiritual evolution is accelerating, as it must, and the divine energies surrounding and enveloping you are intensifying as you continue asking for help from your guides, angels, and from God Himself. What you are doing is of great importance, it is totally in alignment with the divine Will, and consequently you cannot fail to achieve your aim, which is to evolve or, more correctly, to return whence you came, to eternal union with God.

The illusion has dragged you into a state of great suffering that was only possible because you were given free will, which allowed you to reject your eternal loving relationship with God in which you were created, and build an environment where you pretended that you were separated from Him. That, of course, is impossible because all that exists does so within God. Nevertheless, using the gifts that He had bestowed upon you, you went ahead and imagined an environment without His loving Presence, and chose to experiment with a very large number of rather strange ideas that can only truly be described as quite insane.

The results of these experiments are all around you, wherever you look, and they are not a pretty sight. Initially your intentions were not unkind, just thoughtless. You could have used your reason and intelligence to calculate where your experiments would lead you, but it seemed that there was so much fun in not knowing that you rushed ahead and became addicted to the sense of excitement that your lack of foreknowledge provoked.

By the time the pain and suffering had become endemic it seemed that there was no way back, and that you had permanently and gravely offended your Father by your ill-conceived and basically thoughtless behavior. It seemed to you that you had destroyed His divine creation of beauty and perfection and were, therefore, beyond forgiveness. You had forgotten that the environment in which it appeared that you had your existence was but an imaginary one that you had built to play in and hide from Him. Your imaginations had convinced you that what you were experiencing was absolutely real, and you began to blame one another for your suffering, and that led only to further suffering. To cease experiencing suffering you have to cease imposing it on others.

You have the power and the divine grace to recognize that what you are experiencing as reality, and have been experiencing that way for eons, is, in truth, an illusion that you continue to support and maintain as long as you continue to attack and blame one another. Judgment must cease because it destroys every effort you make to establish peace. For eons every societal system that has been overthrown has only been replaced by a similar one containing all the same faults and problems the revolutionaries claimed that they would put right, as your world history clearly shows. There have always been wise ones among you offering sane guidance, but in the excitement and increased insanity of revolution you refused to listen.

Finally humanity has reached the point where it can and is listening to the Voice of God, which has always been available and expressed through the wise and gentle ones amongst you. Now you can start to recognize that this painful realm of confusion, fear, and anxiety is but a hideous nightmare from which you can awaken by laying down judgment, blame, and punishment, and replacing those destructive attitudes with gentleness, understanding, forgiveness, and cooperation. You are seeing this happening all over the world, as people support each other peacefully to disempower regimes that have controlled them instead of honoring them as God’s beloved children.

You are all divinely loved. You have never left the Presence of God. You will awaken from the seemingly endless nightmare of ferocious disagreement, judgment, and war. Then your joy will be complete because in Reality, God’s divine Presence, there is nothing else.

"How Do You Fight in Your Marriage?"

Huffington Post  Amy Lee  First Posted: 02/24/11 11:53 AM Updated: 02/24/11 01:35 PM

Want to save your marriage? Pay attention to how you fight.

According to a new study, the style that couples use to fight can predict how likely divorce is for those couples.

The researchers who headed up a recent University of Michigan study found that three styles of fighting characterized conflict--destructive, constructive, and withdrawal. Though destructive fighting (yelling and screaming) most often led to divorce, researchers also found that couples where one partner fought constructively (that is, tried to solve the problem calmly) and the other partner withdrew emotionally, or left the fight, also faced potential problems in their relationship.

This was the longest and largest research study to date that concentrated on marital conflict--it spanned 16 years and studied 373 couples. Though 46 percent of couples had divorced by the final year of the study, those that remained together were likelier to be engaged in conflicts in which both partners used constructive behaviors. Kira Birditt, one of the study's co-authors, helped us make sense of this data:

You had two goals with this study. Can you outline what those were?

We were interested in whether the conflict styles couples use in the first year predict if they stay married, and if couples stay consistent in their conflict strategies over time.

You refer to three styles of fighting, or "conflict patterns"--"destructive," "constructive," and "withdrawal." Can you describe them?

Destructive strategies are like yelling and screaming, constructive are calmly discussing the situation, trying to find solutions, and we looked at two avoidant strategies -- one was keeping quiet, the other was leaving the situation.

How did you measure this? Did you put couples in a room and wait until they fought? Or bring up something they typically tend to fight about and watch them go at it?

They were asked to report a recent conflict and then to describe the conflict. They had a questionnaire asking how often they used a series of strategies.

What were your major findings? Which were the most surprising?

Strategies couples uses in the first year do predict how long they stayed married. Destructive patterns are bad for your marriage. We saw interactions between strategies. We thought constructive must be good for marriage, but we found that constructive strategies mixed with another spouse leaving the room, were actually more likely to lead to divorce. It's important both partners use constructive patterns. People do change over time, but the changes were more visible in women.

Why might a constructive fighting style mixed with a withdrawal style be bad for a marriage?

It might just mean that your spouse is showing a lack of commitment to the relationship--one spouse wants to fix things and the other one is leaving.

You found that overall, men used less destructive fighting methods and more constructive methods than women. This seems counter-intuitive, since we typically think of women as being better communicators than men. Did this finding surprise you?

It's not surprising in the marital literature -- women tend to use more destructive styles in other studies too. I think of women having less power and being less aggressive but that's not the case here.

You also found that, over time, women's use of destructive methods of fighting, such as withdrawal, lessened while the men's use of destructive behavior remained the same. Why do you think that is?

Women are less satisfied with the relationship and tend to have more complaints as they do more around the house or have more they would like to change, whereas men would like to keep the status quo -- so if they have a really traditional relationship, women might have more to complain about in the beginning of the marriage and it's solved over time. Also, destructive couples are more likely to divorce.

Black couples reported more withdrawal than white couples. Why do you think this is?

We're not sure -- one idea is that black couples are more likely to divorce and are more worried about conflict, but I really don't know.

You found that the majority of fighting styles had similar effects on divorce for blacks and whites. Were you surprised by this?

I thought we'd find some different things because black and white marriages were so different in all these other ways, in terms of socio-economics -- I thought it'd translate to larger differences in emotional things, but it didn't.

You found that individual behaviors and patterns of behaviors between partners in the first year of marriage predicted higher divorce rates 16 years later. That's a pretty scary finding, but does it also that mean couples can possibly prevent their own divorces down the road if they identify these patterns in the first year of marriage and deal with them?

I would hope so. I would hope that we could use this literature to help people. But who knows? It'd be interesting to study that.

What can couples take away from this study?

I think it's important to try to work together to constructively solve problems. The closer you are, the more problems you have but you have to be really careful about how you deal with it when you have them. You should think before you react and try to say things calmly when you're upset and it's better to talk about problems than to avoid them or to scream or yell.