"The Past ... The Future" - 1989 by M. W. McCloskey

"My soul-rock, worn smooth through years of acquiescence, was bound by the muddy stream's edge ..... engulfed by listless foam.  The rock's edges were blunted by the swirling ferocity of parent-waters around its periphery.  In another season ... further eroded by the stagnant indifference of those same waters.

Nevertheless ... a very tiny fierce energy remained a champion of its strong and steadfast core ... always open, gentle, available.  The lament was the dulling of the brilliant, jagged edges of Self;  the radiance of the sun on its wet angles had diminished.

The rock must not change, for that core is its power ... its essence.  The urgency is for the tide to swell ...for it to erode the mudbank.

The rock ... then freed from its sluggish captivity will then be transformed in fresh life-waters."

The Sankofa Bird ...and the Meaning of the Symbol

The Meaning of the Symbol of the Sankofa Bird

The concept of SANKOFA is derived from King Adinkera of the Akan people of West Afrika.  Literally translated it means "it is not taboo to go back and fetch what you forgot".

"Sankofa" teaches us that we must go back to our roots in order to move forward. That is, we should reach back and gather the best of what our past has to teach us, so that we can achieve our full potential as we move forward. Whatever we have lost, forgotten, forgone or been stripped of, can be reclaimed, revived, preserved and perpetuated.

 Visually and symbolically "Sankofa" is expressed as a mythic bird that flies forward while looking backward with an egg (symbolizing the future) in its mouth. This is emphasizing on the fact that even though the bird is advancing, it periodically makes it a point to examine/ return to it's past, since this is the only way for one to have a better future. It affirms the belief that there must be movement and new learning as time passes, but as this forward march proceeds the knowledge of the past must never be forgotten

Some also interpret Sankofa to mean, no matter how far away one travels they must always return home.  If not physically, then figuratively.  However Sankofa is interpreted, the basic and important meaning still lies; one's past is an important aspect of one's future. So in order to make the best of one's future ... to lead a life with ongoing health and growth ...unequivocally one must visit one's past .  

A Bestowal from Creator...After 26 years.......

"To the outside world we all grow old.  

But not to brothers and sisters.  

We know each other as we always were.  

We know each other's hearts.  

We share private family jokes.  

We remember family feuds and secrets, 

family griefs and joys.  

And ... we live outside the touch of time."  

~Clara Ortega~

The surprises of life are unlimited. However, our exploration and integration of  those surprises is most intimate and personal...a product of our conditioning and heart. However, the efforts are often not for the faint of heart.

I digress for some moments about some of my own conditioning, which may convey the depth and wonder of this newest surprise for me.  As a therapist I loved to do family therapy. I was passionate about the dynamics of the multidimensional human connections. The process with each family was first and foremost, sacred...humbling...and always mystical at some points. There were moments ...  inexplicable ... ineffable. And the work was always fraught with a transcendence of human understanding... mysterious ... and always in the hands of Creator.

I would meditate before most family sessions, for I was never without awe of the multiplicity of feelings and events to which I would be entrusted......and made witness. I saw myself merely as a conduit....and requested from Creator compassion, understanding, and reverence.  Those being granted, the quality of caring humor was inevitable. As a clinician, I tried to shed the material aspects of my day....the schedules, tasks, challenges, calls, notes....to seek a clarity about my own feelings.  In that way I would prepare my inner self for the presence of, literally ....... a gathering of souls.

My human premise was always that each member of the family was doing the very best that they could, with the tools they possessed, at that point in time. There was so much to observe ...  nuances, body language, tones of voice with certain subjects, autonomic responses and respirations, eyes averted to another family member, eyes downcast, and facial colors and flushes. And then...there was always the stunning clarity of the children, and the magical quality of the precision of their body language.

More often than not, family therapy being the sometimes fragile dance that it is, one or more of the family is unable to sustain the strength necessary to "walk the walk"... and they succumb to homeostasis .... they cling to "what is" ... terrified to progress for fear of the unknown. Rather than acknowledge this "fight or flight" sense of fear...and hold ... they leave the process.

However, when the family enough wants ... and thirsts for ... transformation and metamorphosis, they hold steady and continue  through what is sometimes a storm .... often called the dark night of the soul.

It is then that the "ending" is as wonderful as walking in glittery new-fallen snow, at midnight ... lit by the moon. Shadowy, sparkly, and  crystal clear, all at the same time.

And so it goes ... over and again ...through our lives.  Those brilliant star-twinkles in our life, when we are given an opening ...one which requires that we take the road not usually taken. In those times, we smile ruefully, and realize that here we are yet again on another spin of the wheel.  Only this time we are not as afraid of the temporary sight of blood ... which, truth be told, is generally in the configuration of a inner, hard look at ourselves.

I suppose I more liken it, when the family is strong enough, to a family heirloom tapestry, which becomes spread out in the room as the family works towards new ways ... and understanding the past with an entirely fresh perspective.  The perspective then is one of a new love for themselves and for each other.

It is as if each family member carefully separates each square of the worn tapestry, sometimes even ripping, the old squares of fabric.  Some of the squares are discarded, others are re-fashioned and re-stitched because they are so valuable to the tapestry.... and all know they must be salvaged.  And then, for those that were discarded (non-working attitudes, old coping skills, schisms, loving detachments, etc.), the family weaves together the squares they deem most grand ... most expressive ... to surrender their brilliance to the higher good ... and the increased durability of the tapestry fabric.

And the border ... it is of purple amaranths ... the imaginary flower that never fades ... abiding ... boundless ...  eternal.

Flipping momentarily from the sacred to the profane of it all,  Bill Cosby had a wonderful saying which, in my humble opinion and personal experience was both candid and unadorned:

"Families are like peanut brittle......it takes a whole lot of sugar to hold all those nuts together!"

So, having set the stage, for my own wonder in this week, I share that the above picture is of my "step"-sister (I hate that term, so I use it only one time to establish the relationship!).  After twenty-six years, and a half a country country away, I have met my little sister! I  attribute to her in this process a magnificent ability to weave her own piece of tapestry, and to gently and with reverence,  interweave it with all of the existing pieces. As we spoke and texted for hours, there was a serenity and confirmation ... and I had high praise for this open soul ... who could speak with clarity... and with calm reflective truth.  Sure, I am certain that for each of us there was that bit of caution, likely most harkening back decades ... and in a sense, we could each tell we had "gone back" to being "a teen and a twenty".  But I could feel the energetic shift as we moved into the present while still recalling.  We even had to laugh at some things, and our present understanding of it all!  Each member of our combined family all of a sudden was acutely more heroic ... 

For most of this week, I have truly been profoundly moved with the synchronicity of it all, and the ability of now-adults to explore all the nuances, and to see what is. I am so often reminded of the legend of the Sankofa bird, which I will put into my next post.  For me, it has been iconic.....for my work and for my life. I soon made the Sankofa bird a logo to which I could refer my clients, for a deeper understanding of the therapy process. More and most importantly, of the human relationship process.

For today, however, I am still in a veil of both mystery and clarity ... already punctuated by breathtaking insights with this sister.  It is profound...it is tender....and the process is paradoxically both exciting and serene.  The feeling in me..... feelings based on mutual affirmations and confirmations....is astonishingly quiet... crisp ... and clear.....walking in the snow at midnight ... surrounded by both shadows and brilliance.

For this moment, standing on a still snowbank ...  I am silent ...I am hushed.

  

"Wickyleaks or Weaky Licks? The Choice is Ours!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Notes From the Trail January 25, 2011 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wikileaks or Weaky Licks? The Choice Is Ours By Steve Bhaerman

"There is only one major news network telling the truth about what they are broadcasting - CBS. However, for those of us who are tired of seeing B.S., the choices seem more and more limited." -- Beyondananda  Last year, I highly recommended a powerful documentary, The Most Dangerous Man in America, about Daniel Ellsberg and the leaking of the Pentagon Papers. Nearly 40 years ago, Ellsberg - a one-time Marine and military analyst - took the bold step of leaking documents that told the truth about the Vietnam War. It is heartening to watch that documentary, as we see the risks Ellsberg took, and the way the press actually covered the story - and covered Ellsberg's behind. Consequently, Daniel Ellsberg went free and truth, transparency, integrity and justice won a victory. Fast forward four decades, and we see the forces of endarkened self-interest have learned their lessons well, far better than those who inherited the peace and justice movement from Ellsberg and company. No more body bag photos to turn Americans against war. No more independent reportage, as correspondents are in-bedded with the military (and no, we will not respect them in the morning). Since Iran-Contra, America has a history of exonerating our war criminals, and persecuting whistle-blowers. Meanwhile, the once-honorable profession of journalism has been toxified by the likes of Rupert Murdoch as what used to be news is now little more than weapons of mass-distraction - a brainwashing machine stuck on spin. Edward R. Murrow must be flipping in his crypt. Not surprisingly, the mainstream press has been nearly-unanimous in its lack of support for Wikileaks, thus earning them the nickname "Weaky Licks." 'Nuff said. There is only one thing that can possibly work now, and that is an independent, across-the-political-spectrum alliance of political, spiritual, business, entertainment, education and other leaders who stand up for Wikileaks at a time when prosecution of Julian Assange is almost assured. The United States of America is now at a Martin Niemoller moment. Niemoller was the German clergyman who at first supported, then opposed Adolf Hitler and is known for the quote: First they came for the communists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists , and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Nazi Germany had its karma, and this is not Nazi Germany. But it is "Not-See America," where too many Americans are afraid to look down the rabbit hole, even as they suspect our government of nefarious doings. So, what can be done? Well, here is a simple first step. Sign this petition as I have, and pass it along to your list. It's not perfect, particularly because it is primarily left of center, and is not represented - as yet - by the growing number of right wing libertarians who recognize the creeping fascism of the corporate state. And that brings us to something else that can be done. Sometime after February 1st - soon after, we hope - Joseph McCormick and I will be releasing our e-book, Reuniting America: A Toolkit for Changing the Political Game. I've been immersed in political science for more than forty years, and I can say that Reuniting America might be the most significant practical political book of our time. (I'm not bragging on myself, because this book is written in Joseph's voice and based on the wisdom he has gleaned from looking at our political landscape "from both sides now." I feel that my most important function in this project has been to recognize the spiritual and political wisdom in his ideas and tell everyone I know.) We are hoping this book will be a political game-changer, as it offers both a pathway for political "up-wising" and practical guidelines and principles for convening local conversations and councils where all sides (not to mention all angles) are included. Don't think it's possible? You will after reading this book! It's not on sale yet, but you can contribute to the cause, and watch this space for further developments. If there's one thing the nascent transpartisan upwising has demonstrated, more and more of us are awakening. In communicating with one another to confirm our suspicions, we build the courage to speak, and the courage to stand together. While our parents and grandparents who survived the Great Depression and stood up to Nazism 60 or 70 years ago have been celebrated as "the greatest generation," our challenge may be greater.

Young Children Believing In Reincarnation More and More - ABC News

From the ages of 2 to 6, James Leininger seemed to recall in striking detail a "past life" he had as a World War II Navy pilot who was shot down and killed over the Pacific. 

The boy knew details about airplanes and about pilot James Huston Jr. that he couldn't have known. James' parents say he also had terrible nightmares about a plane crashing and a "little man" unable to get out. 

James, now 8, stills loves airplanes, but he is free of those haunting images of the pilot's death. "He's doing great. He's your typical 8-year-old boy ready to start third grade," said James' mother, Andrea 

Leininger. 

Jim Tucker, a child psychiatrist and medical director of the Child and Family Psychiatric Clinic at the University of Virginia, is one of the few researchers to extensively study the phenomenon of children who 

seem to have memories of past lives. He says James' case is very much like others he has 

studied. 

"At the University of Virginia, we've studied over 2,500 cases of children who seem to talk about previous lives when they're little," Tucker said. 

"They start at 2 or 3, and by the time they're 6 or 7 they forget all about it and go on to live the rest of their lives." 

Do You Believe? 

Tucker -- the author of "Life Before Life: A Scientific Investigation of Children's Memories of Previous Lives" -- has seen cases like James' where children make statements that can be verified and seem to match with a particular person. 

"It means that this is a phenomenon that really needs to be explored," Tucker said. "James is one of many, many kids who have said things like this." 

While about 75% of Americans say they believe in paranormal activity, 50 percent believe in reincarnation, according to a 2005 Gallup poll. 

People in other cultures are more likely than Americans to believe in past lives. Tucker said he was a skeptic about reincarnation, but he identified some patterns in his research. 

"Children are describing very recent lives and very ordinary lives usually in the same country," he said. 

Seventy percent of the deaths described by children were unnatural or under unusual circumstances, he said. 

James' parents say they were once skeptics about past lives and reincarnation. After James' experience, they are now believers. 

What Is Your Emotional Reaction to Chaos?

What's Your Emotional Reaction to Chaos?

Stroke of Insight: Jill Bolte Taylor

Inspiring video of neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor's near-death experience 

Stroke of Insight: Jill Bolte Taylor

Withholding...

The most common form of withholding is what we commonly call "the silent treatment," but withholding encompasses any unwillingness to express your true feelings. It is the dominant form of emotional abuse, and of passive-aggression. It includes an unwillingness to give support, praise, or positive attention to the people you love. It is not much less damaging when you use withholding on friends, co-workers, etc., for it also signals an inability to have appropriate human intimacy...the flaw of the withholder.  

We have all known someone, or may currently be experiencing someone's pattern of emotionally draining and hurtful behaviors. Many of you may have suddenly found yourselves at the other end of a chilly silence with no explanation. 

No one deserves to be subjected to withholding. Feeling ignored, disrespected, or shut out, and to not know why, is a terrible feeling. The first thing to remember if this is happening to you is that you are not to blame. You are caught in someone else's pain pattern. This person does not know how to express feelings in a healthy way probably because this is what they learned when she or he was a child. The second helpful thing to remember is that the withholder is acting out of pain. They are stuck in a habitual mode of response that is self-defeating and alienating to the people they love. Remembering this will help you feel compassion for the person hurting you. However, if you have suffered too long with this pattern, you may need to get some space. Take some time to look at your own patterns and understand why you have taken part in this drama. If you are dealing with people in a family situation, you can step up to the plate to help break the chain of this behavior pattern. 

At the same time, many of us will recognize our own tendency to withhold our emotions rather than express them. At times though, when one is in the process of attempting to mend these same relationships, they are in need of silence... but a constructive bout of silence is the key to distinguishing whether one is going to be helpful, or hurtful. 

Sometimes, people distance themselves and during this time force blame, rationalize their side of the disagreement and seek refuge and validation from those around them about the matter in question. Sometimes however, you may see that this is not the case at all. Perhaps, someone has taken themselves out of the equation to figure out where they went wrong, how they hurt those they love the most, and most importantly... how to begin to mend the broken bonds that were left in their narcissistic, self-absorbed mad dance. Often times, this continual pattern lands us at a spot of looking back at a path of emotional debris we trailed along the hurricane we call our life. It is devastating and miraculous in the same breath when we see this. 

Upon this realization, and if we are the "withholder", there is often a pronounced experience of almost clairvoyance insight from a never before seen perspective of neutrality. This position often has us looking at ourself as we truly are, and not who we have attempted to be for as long as we can remember. We often will experience this because we are tired of lying to ourselves, we have run into the truth about ourselves and wish to carry forward to rebuild the bonds which have subsequently deteriorated as a result of this pattern. 

Most of us have seen both sides of the withholding dilemna. Emotional pain is at the root of our tendency to withhold, and withholding causes pain to the people subjected to it. For the withholder, it is a means of pseudo-power and control (or so they believe). It is a dysfunctional pattern that creates a breakdown in communication and understanding. 

If, on the other hand, it is you that tends to withhold, understand that this is a learned response and it can be unlearned. Find safe places to begin to express all that you've been holding back. Begin to make an effort to say what you're feeling and thinking. Give praise to someone who deserves it. The more you do this, the healthier you and your relationships will become. What was learned over a course of a life cannot be changed overnight-remember, one day at a time.