MY WORK...MY PASSION
~ Certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist ~ Dream Analysis (Jungian, Gestalt, Freudian) Workshops ~ Trained Psychotherapist: 13 Years Experience (Gestalt, Jungian, Zen, Reality and Energy Therapies) ~ Men and Their Journey: the neuroscience of the male brain, and the implications in sexuality, education and relationship ~ Women: Their Transformation and Empowerment ~ ATOD (Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drugs) : 21 years experience ~ Ordained Interfaith Minister & Official Celebrant ~ Child and Human Rights Advocate ~ Spiritual Guide and Intuitive ~ Certified Reiki Practitioner ~ Mediation / Conflict Resolution • “Intentional Love” Parenting Strategy Groups ~ Parenting Workshops ~ Coaching for parents of Indigo, Crystal, and Rainbow Children ~ International Training: Israel & England ~ Critical Incident Stress Debriefing ~ Post-911 and Post-Katrina volunteer
B.S.UNCG M.S. UNC-Chapel Hill
"The degree of our enlightenment is the degree of passion that we will have for the whole world."
~The Greystone Mandala~ ~
"An Unending Love"
This blog and video is devoted and dedicated to my daughter, my grand daughters, and my grand son. They are hearts of my heart. Our connection through many lives..... is utterly infinite.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
To love effectively, we must consciously practice addressing life with love.... Experiencing and expressing love are the peak moments of fulfillment in life.... —Doc Childre
Love changes the atmospheric condition of a child's environment. —Doc Childre
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
When I read this article by parenting expert, Nancy Samalin, I giggled outright. Having just returned home from a week of seeing my grand kids, I had received a refresher course on the word, "No".
My three year old grand daughter knew every single verbal and non-verbal version of it. She was clearly too bright (she's my grand daughter, and I can say that!!!) to fall into any reverse psychology tricks, and any such attempts would result in her victorious, sanguine, ever-so-slight, Mona Lisa smile. (Fortunately I was able to capture a version of that for my cell wallpaper, and have put the phrase, "Illegitum non carborundum est" on it...loosely translated as, "Don't let the
b-------ds wear you down"!)
She had the unadulterated confidence to use a strong "no" to things she was actually well aware of wanting, and fighting for, not even an hour before. I watched her, and was quite amused (as grandparents are allowed to be) as I would observe the occasional cut of her eyes at the parents to swiftly evaluate her specific audience...thus facilitating her next plan of action. That action, whatever it would be, was shrewdly orchestrated by her, and specifically gauged for each parent's vulnerability.
I watched her parents, with great glee I admit (There IS a God!), try to figure out why , to her, the discomfort of the seam of her socks rubbing her feet became tantamount to being burned at the stake. Mom and Dad would try EVERYTHING to solve the situation...turn the socks inside out, get different socks that had NO seams, and various approaches.....on and on as grand daughter reached a crescendo. Fortunately, we were all aware of the permission to briefly fantasize about the end result of this tantrum!
I chose to be quiet...usually the best bet for me ('cause what would I possibly know?!) The best part was watching the parents refer back to this moment (an hour later), trying to use the previous event as an additional learning moment. Sadly, the lesson learned was for their benefit!
At heart, most adults knew full well that the "seam/sock" episode would be yet another dramatic event the following morning before anyone (parents primarily!) could even choke down half a cup of coffee! The madness would re-occur when "the parents" would yet again refer to putting on Bee's socks and shoes...replicating the sadistic ritual of the day before! Immediately...in a flash...the indomitable look which would seem to say, "Are you crazy?" You don't remember? Well, let me refresh your memory!" would return "Bee" would then fully deny she had ever had a problem in the first place...this morning, yesterday morning, the one before, and the one before that! Bee, it seemed, would be well aware that tomorrow was yet another battlefield, and all would be back in the war. Schizophrenic with your coffee? Anyone?
My admiration came with the warp speed with which she did all this.......and the resulting blank (psychotic?!) look in her parents' eyes! So any critical thinking skills on the part of her parents at 7:00 am. were like grasping Jello! Bee was SO intentional with this, I was unable to stifle my giggle! (Oh, girrrrrrl!, I thought...if this can be channelled correctly and knowingly, you have got a GREAT future!) This is the point when relatives either shudder with fear or celebrate the notion that the kid has got what it takes to be an attorney or a politician! Orrrrr... the Irish mafia?! (Chilling recognition, in any case!)
In any case, That is my personal giggle with Samalin's article.Nancy Samalin, MS
Parent Guidance Workshops
June 1, 1998
When children assert themselves at home or in public, their frustrated parents often ask themselves, "Who is in charge here?"
But responding to children’s challenges to your authority with phrases such as, "I set the rules around here" or "Because I said so" aren’t very effective. They aren’t convincing or persuasive, and kids recognize the weakness of these words.
I have found there are better ways to resolve parent-child conflicts without shouting or making yourself crazy.
THE BIG NO
By the time children can walk, their favorite word is no. They’re barely toddlers, and they are already asserting themselves.
This reality confounds parents who thought that they would have had at least a few years of being in charge. Children are constantly trying to develop autonomy, and no! becomes their declaration of independence. That can lead to repeated confrontations over the littlest things.
Example: A friend’s two-year-old boy had terrible temper tantrums when he didn’t get what he wanted. These tantrums typically occurred in stores when he wanted something and his mother wouldn’t let him have it. His ear-piercing shrieks were so terrible that his mother felt it was often much easier to give him what he wanted, rather than to put up with another episode.
Unfortunately, when we give in to demands after setting limits or saying no, we’re setting ourselves up for the behavior to be repeated....again and again.
Children learn that tantrums, whining, screaming or hitting are effective. It’s only natural, then, that they use them over and over again.
Better: Wait out the tantrum or remove your child from the scene if he/she doesn’t stop. Then get down to his eye level and say, quietly but firmly, "I know you really want me to buy you that candy, but we’re only getting groceries today."
This strategy may be difficult at first, but after the second or third episode, your child will begin to understand that your no is nonnegotiable.
DIVIDE AND CONQUER
Most kids have a flawless instinct for recognizing division in the ranks and using it to their advantage.
If you and your spouse have an obvious difference of opinion about a rule or method of discipline, your children are going to pick up on it and use that division to their advantage.
Example: A mother I know had a firm rule that her daughter was not allowed to eat at fast-food restaurants. She was intent on serving her family a nutritious diet, and she didn’t want her efforts undermined by greasy hamburgers and french fries.
But her daughter knew that her father didn’t really think it was such a big deal. So, on the way home from tennis practice, she urged him to stop at a fast-food restaurant. When he said, "You know your mother will be furious," the girl replied, "Oh, come on, Dad. She won’t have to know." He gave in. The next day, when her mother found a hamburger wrapper on the floor of the car, she exploded.
Trap: When this father gave in to his daughter’s persuasion, he may have made her feel happy at that moment, and he probably felt like a good guy.
But his action undermined his wife’s authority, not just in the area of fast food but in other matters as well. The message their daughter received was that she could play Mom and Dad against one another to get what she wanted.
Parents may not always agree with one another, but they have to avoid letting their kids divide and conquer. When parents show respect for one another’s wishes, they send an important message to their children.
Result: In the future, Dad picked healthier places to stop off for their traditional Dad-daughter snacks.
Parents believe that their job is to set the rules, and their children’s job is to follow them. But sometimes parents encounter situations when their children deliberately disobey them.
Typical scenario: Mom tells her son he can ride his bike with his friends but that she needs him home in one hour. When he arrives home two hours later with no real apology or excuse, she gets upset because the house rules or limits have been ignored.
Better: Kids need to know that being allowed to go out with friends is a privilege, and privileges come with certain obligations.
Parents have to be firm. That boy who was late returning home would likely follow the rules if he sensed that bike riding wasn’t a right but an activity he had to earn. Mom could have said, "If you do not show respect for the rules, the privilege of riding your bike before dinner will be withdrawn the next time."
WHO’S THE BOSS?
When children become defiant, they often say to their parents, "You’re not the boss over me!" This challenge to authority is hard for parents to deal with.
Example: Every time a parent in my workshop tried to get his daughter to do something she didn’t want to do, she fought him. He wondered, "Why can’t she just say OK once in a while?"
Helpful: Many power struggles can be avoided if we reduce the number of requests and rules we impose on our children and stick to the most important ones.
If this parent’s daughter had the impression that her father was constantly ordering her around or making too many nonnegotiable rules, it wouldn’t be surprising that she would respond in a defiant manner.
Better: Dad might need to be more flexible about less important rules and make it clear to his daughter which ones are nonnegotiable. He could also examine the tone in which he made his requests.
Example: "Why can’t you remember to take your dishes to the sink?" sounds like a challenge. A better way to put it would be as a request, such as "When you’re finished eating, I would appreciate your putting your dishes in the sink."
One of the hardest adjustments parents face is the first time their children walk out the door on their own. Parents can never again be absolutely certain what their children are doing. The feelings of helplessness get stronger as children grow older.
By the time your kids are teenagers, you can only hope they have absorbed enough of your values to make correct judgments and avoid putting themselves in harm’s way.
Example: The mother of a 14-year-old girl told her daughter that she wasn’t allowed to go to the mall with her friends after school. Mom assumed that was the end of the matter. But when a neighbor mentioned that she had seen the girl at the mall one afternoon, Mom was outraged. How could her daughter go against her will and say she had been studying at a friend’s house? This was a serious matter of broken trust.
One step ahead: Parents need to understand that sometimes kids lie. It doesn’t mean that they’re untrustworthy. Before she spoke to her daughter, the mother cooled down so she could avoid making assumptions about her daughter’s character. When she spoke with her daughter, the conversation was set in a nonblaming tone. She calmly stated, "A neighbor mentioned seeing you at the mall. I’d like to discuss the mall thing again."
If she had asked in an accusatory tone, "Were you at the mall today?" her daughter’s natural tendency would be to deny it. By opening up a dialogue rather than starting an argument, she initiated a more effective way to deal with the conflict.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Someone who is close to me said about Indigo children that the term is a label. She is certainly "one", but has not been surrounded by people who could understand and/or would honor this in her...however, as she evolves she will likely come to it. There is no doubt whatsoever that her child is an "Indigo"...proven, tested!
In any case, I disagreed with her vehemently at the time she made that statement. But as life and synchronicity happen, within a week, I saw a flurry of articles by "Indigo" children who also did not like that "label". At the same time, each had proven gifts. I finally told her that, out of respect for her view, I would no longer call her an "Indigo", and certainly not in front of her.
Our thoughts and feelings are not our own. The truth is, we have forgotten who we are and how our minds are connected to each other. Indigo children remember and have an inner knowing that far exceeds our psychic abilities.
Having said this. Not all children born since about 1980 are indigos. Many brought major challenges from previous lifetimes they're still working through. But, once the lessons are learned and the patterns forgiven, they will join the ranks of the cosmic caring indigo.
"The intricate inner workings of our DNA are changing...Brain-wave relationships are spontaneously moving into higher vibrational patterning as the electromagnetic fields within our DNA. Because of this, our brains are working together as cohesive units of consciousness. That means humanity is becoming more aware and moving toward becoming sentient beings – aware of everything all at once all of the time.” Conversations with the Children of Now, Meg Blackburn Losey
So what happened to cause us to loose touch with our inner knowing?
Put simply, we began to "think" instead of "feel," thousands of years ago. Our ability to tap into the collective consciousness is still within us. We’ve just forgotten how to do it. The ego became our ruler holding us back by relying on memories to make our decisions. Using the past as our guide, and when we gave our power to the ego, we made ourselves fearful. We began to live from our lower natures. The intellect caused us to loose our connection to the collective consciousness, making us feel alone.
Some adults have been able to gain at least a part of this former knowing. They in turn are giving birth to children who remember how the collective consciousness works and they are using it. The indigo child is there descendant.
"The conclusion of our book was that today’s children are different – more challenging, more intelligent, more confrontational, more intuitive, more spiritual, and in some cases even more violent – from any generation we have yet seen. This calls for a new and different way of parenting and schooling – outside of the old ways." The Care and Feeding of Your Indigo Children, Doreen Virtue
Where did the term “Indigo Child” come from?
Nancy Ann Tappe, a teacher and counselor, studied the human auric field, otherwise known as their electromagnetic field. The field surrounds every living thing. She even wrote a book about it called "Understanding Your Life Through Color."
Through colors in the aura, she instituted a shockingly accurate and revealing way to psychologically profile a person using her new auric color method. The signs of an indigo child actually began even as early as in the 1950’s in much smaller numbers. What she noticed was that 80 percent of the children born after 1980 had a new deep blue colored auric field. She called this new color "indigo".
What are the behavioral patterns of Indigo children?
- They are born feeling and knowing they are special and should be revered.
- An indigo child knows they belong here as they are and expect you to realize it as well.
- These children are more confident and have a higher sense of self-worth.
- Absolute authority, the kind with no choices, negotiation, or input from them does not sit well. The educational system is a good example.
- Some of the rules we so carefully followed as children seem silly to them and they fight them.
- Rigid ritualistic systems are considered archaic to an indigo child. They feel everything should be given creative thought.
- They are insightful and often have a better idea of method then what has been in place for years. This makes them seem like "system busters."
- Adults often view an indigo child as anti-social unless they are with other indigos. Often they feel lost and misunderstood, which causes them to go within.
- The old control methods like, "Wait till your father gets home," have no affect on these children.
- The fulfillment of their personal needs is important to them, and they will let you know.
Are you or your children an indigo?
These are the characteristics of an indigo child as stated in The Care and Feeding of Your Indigo Child:
- Strong willed
- Born in 1978 or later
- Creative, with an artistic flair for music, jewelry making, poetry, etc.
- Prone to addictions
- An "old soul" as if they’re 13 going on 43
- Intuitive or psychic, possibly with a history of seeing angels or deceased people
- An isolationist, either through aggressive acting-out, or through fragile introversion
- Independent and proud, even if they’re constantly asking you for money
- Possess a deep desire to help the world in a big way
- Wavers between low self-esteem and grandiosity
- Bores easily
- Has probably been diagnosed as having ADD or ADHD
- Prone to insomnia, restless sleep, nightmares, or difficulty/fear of falling asleep
- Has a history of depression, or even suicidal thoughts or attempts
- Looks for real, deep, and lasting friendships
- Easily bonds with plants or animals.
The effects of Ritalin and other drugs on an indigo child diagnosed with ADD or ADHD
"Indigo Children who take Ritlin or other psychotropic drugs soon lose touch with their intuition, psychic abilities, and warrior personality. These children were sent to Earth with these three spiritual gifts for the express purpose of cleaning up our planet, environmentally and socially." Care and Feeding of Your Indigo Child, Doreen Virtue
Suppressive drugs such as Ritlin cause an indigo child to forget their lives purpose, which only delays what HAS to change on our earth for us to continue living on it.
One of the reasons an indigo child has trouble sleeping is because wayward spirits are attracted to them. These spirits know these children can see and sense them. Often indigo children have a hard time sleeping, which makes them more irritable and restless in school. The schools and doctors decide from this they are ADHD or ADD.
So what would an ideal indigo child’s world look like?
Indigo children have a job to do on this planet, and they WILL do it. It’s their job to help eliminate the values of the present world age and replace them with the values of the coming world age. And, they take their job very seriously. They are preparing the world for the new values of "love, brotherhood and unity." Indigo prophecies talk about how these special children are the forerunners to dramatically changing the word for the next Great Cycle change in the area of 2012. Forgiveness towards others is a key element to help heal the earth. An indigo’s world would be:
- Free from all harsh chemicals.
- Food would be organically grown, locally grown, fresh with minimal processing and refining.
- Education would be for all and children would have a much greater say in their educational future and curriculum.
- Family would mean whom you are with at that time, and be inclusive to a greater circle of people.
- Our political system would be truly for the greater good of all, much more democratic, even socialist.
- All countries and all people would work together to better the lives on the entire planet.
- Nature and her needs would come first including clean air and soil.
- Children would be treated with respect and consulted on any decisions that would affect them.
- All people would be equal no matter what their race, color, sex, or creed.
We’ve drugged them, punished them, denied them, but they still will not conform to "our" views of what a model child should be. Why? Many indigo children can see their futures and know what we are trying to teach them is useless and irrelevant.
An indigo child has an enormous amount of tenacity and willpower. Through their sensitivity to chemicals, processed foods, and authority, they are showing us what has to change in our world. They're sensitive to so many things. An indigo child will tell you that we should not be using these detrimental chemicals if we truly loved our earth and each other.
"Indigo children are "natural children in an unnatural world."...their immune systems (physically and emotionally) aren’t able to assimilate the earthly toxins in food, water, air, toiletries, cleaning supplies, artificial lighting, and relationships. Scientists have discovered huge links between ADHD and environmental toxins.” The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children, Doreen Virtue.
Every Generation appears to have a group purpose or consciousness, which is related to a certain color with certain values.
1940’s and 1950’s – these people had issues of security. They married young, stayed at their jobs for a lifetime. Happiness in marriage or career were secondary to security. The color was red and is of the ROOT CHAKRA – red slowest moving rays.
1960 and 1970’s – less concerned with security. More interest began with drugs, sex and harsh music. Free love, bra burnings, equality for minorities and the sexes began in earnest. Orange is the color associated with the SACRAL CHAKRA – orange is a slower but not the slowest moving ray.
1980’s – things gain importance in this time with people acquiring personal property and power increasing the debt load. Women made great gains in the male dominated areas of the workforce, but at the expense of their femininity. They took on more masculine type traits. The color associated with this time is yellow, which represents the SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA – the speed of the rotation the chakras increases as the color changes from hot to cooler.
Early 1990’s – As we get closer to the Great Cycle change the time periods move closer together, because evolution in consciousness increased. The spiritual revolution grew at this time with people joining churches, temples or nonreligious spiritual groups. The Pope apologized for the churches past abuses. All this is due to the coming new millennium. Emerald-green is to color associated with this time period and the chakra is the HEART CHAKRA. The speed of this chakra increases over the last one again.
Late 1990’s – This was a time of the individual. People strove to become independent by playing the stock market, opening businesses or whatever else helped further this trait. Corporate downsizing helped move this trend along. These people left jobs, marriages or anything else that didn’t feel healthy or right. Their passions came to the forefront. Integrity towards themselves became paramount. These changes to truth and integrity are the work of the THROAT CHAKRA because they deal with communication. This chakra spins in the color of light sky-blue, and faster still.
2000’s the new millennium – The spiritual revolution went into swing with increased interest in psychic phenomena, earthbound spirits, life-after-death and angels. Interest in psychic phenomenal comes through loud and clear with the THIRD EYE CHAKRA. This chakra spins at three colors, white, purple and primarily indigo.
These children are highly psychic and spiritually gifted. They are right-brain dominant. So, they feel instead of think. Other traits are artistically gifts, musical and mathematical thinking, learning through visuals not auditory. Many are emotionally gifted, and want to help other children in an nonjudgmental and openhearted way.
An indigo child is sensitive to others, because many times they know what the person is feeling. Being truthful to these children is recommended, because they can detect a lie through their inner knowing. Lack of integrity does not work for an indigo child. They will call you on it every time. So truth and integrity are what we have to give our children to help an indigo child grow and move in the direction of their lives purpose.
These children are very different then when we were children. Their combined IQ’s are higher than at any other time in history. But, they have higher scores in non-verbal intelligence and lower scores in verbal skills. To them the telepathic trips they take are their true schooling...night school. It’s why many are tired the next day, because they haven’t slept. What they learn during the day at human school is boring and obsolete. They turn to "night school" for their true learning... and many do it in secret.
The Global Purpose of Indigo Children is to usher in the New Age of Peace, the Age of Aquarius.
Indigo children naturally want to help others. They know that it is through helping others that big changes happen on the earth. A true indigo child cares deeply about the values of fairness, individuality and brotherhood of all. According to doctors and teachers, Indigo children report seeing angels, auras, fairies and deceased loved ones. They intuitively know the integrity level of others and they sense a lie. Most important of all, these children know, understand and respect their gift without question.
We as adults have been taught to question everything. When we get a feeling, we often discount it's worth and end up making mistakes because of it. An indigo child does not question the divine inspiration they receive. Instead they follow it without question and to the letter.
As these children move into adulthood, psychic experiences, telepathy and angels will become common conversations. Lying becomes impossible when you're telepathic. The legal professions, justice systems and more will become obsolete. People will naturally be honest, because they will not be able to get away with anything else.
You have to earn the trust of an indigo child.
Indigo children know the legal and government systems today are corrupt. They know the educational system needs a major overhaul, and they have the tenacity to make it happen when they are in a position to do so. We are presently in the Age of Pisces with the values of "money, power and control." It is predicted that these values will be replaced by 2012 with the values of "love, brotherhood, unity and integrit." The overhaul of theses systems has already begun, and the indigo child will continue the change till we take on the values of the next Great Cycle
In the new Age of Peace, the Age of Aquarius, we will live in "cooperation, brotherhood, integrity and love." We will live a much more natural existence through natural whole foods, clean water and fresh locally grown produce.
MLM's (Multi-Level Marketing) may become more prevalent and could represent the major source of our market economies.
All the unnecessary "things" that are produced now will no longer have a market and will cause massive closures of the businesses that produce them. But, they will be replaced with other needed and useful businesses that will be operated to a large extent from home. People will follow their lives purpose and not settle for just a "job."
As these obsolete businesses go, so will smog, pesticides, food additives, pharmaceutical drugs, stress and worry. As we stop using unnatural time given us by clocks, we will start to life in natural time...our birthright.
The old energy of "fear" will be replaced by the new energy of "peace."
People who live in higher dimensions instantly manifest in order to get their needs met. They focus their desire and vision on their goal, which attracts or creates it. Because of our increased psychic talents when we need something we will manifest it through the power of visualization. It takes discipline to keep the focus unwavering on what we desire. Worrying creates negative results so it has to be replaced with loving thoughts immediately.
The indigo child doesn’t worry about job security, because they know their true source of security is from living through God/the Universe and purpose.
Our very DNA is changing. Many of you, as adults are feeling the effects of these changes as our bodies attempt to adjust. You may feel your nerves a bit frazzled, or your breathing will become short and you’ll feel anxious for no apparent reason. Some will even have sensations of spinning or movement of energy in their chakras as the ray energy from the galactic center plummets down to earth, stimulating our internal energy centers.
The Earth’s own magnetic field has changed dramatically from what it was only centuries earlier. It’s weakening as we approach the next Great Age, which is promised to change our very existence and thinking.
The children of today, the indigo's and their younger counterparts, thecrystal children were born with much of this DNA already in place. They are the forerunners and the instituters of our new lighter bodies and refined psychic abilities. Through their sensitivities, knowing, and integrity they are here to show us the way...not the other way around. Adults have to encourage them to be themselves. They come to us with a whole new set of values based on the values of the Next Mayan Great Age...the Age of Peace...the Age of Aquarius as some call it. It’s all the same. What are these values?
...Love, Brotherhood, Unity and Integrity
P.S. Hold onto your hats...another evolution is occurring with rainbow children coming on the scene NOW!
The Care and Feeding of Your Indigo Children, Doreen Virtue
Conversations with Children of Now, Meg Blackburn Losey, MscD, PhD
Beyond the Indigo Children, P.M.H. Atwater